{"id":13890,"date":"2016-03-24T12:25:42","date_gmt":"2016-03-24T11:25:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/?p=13890"},"modified":"2018-06-06T12:29:27","modified_gmt":"2018-06-06T10:29:27","slug":"why-silence-is-golden","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/de\/why-silence-is-golden\/","title":{"rendered":"Negotiation tactics &#8211; Why silence is golden"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-2pgyg2-910a7e7d13850c9993fb3f5ad4ac51d9\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-2pgyg2-910a7e7d13850c9993fb3f5ad4ac51d9{\nheight:10px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-2pgyg2-910a7e7d13850c9993fb3f5ad4ac51d9 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-0  avia-builder-el-no-sibling '><span class='hr-inner '><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p><strong>A few weeks ago I was chatting to a purchaser who worked in the automotive industry. The conversation drifted to the topic of negotiating and we began to compare countries and styles. The purchaser, a Norwegian, said half in jest but seriously enough, \u201cYou English cannot handle silence\u201d. As a full-blooded Brit I can only agree. Many cultures, <\/strong><a href=\"http:\/\/virtualwayfarer.com\/nordic-conversations-are-different\/\">especially Scandinavians, are more comfortable with silence than others<\/a><strong>. But why is this? The impact of culture on how we communicate is certainly a factor. When I lived in Sweden I had the impression Swedes and Finns took a long time to thaw out and small talk consisted of a \u201cJaaaah\u201d. \u00a0The English, on the other hand, feel uncomfortable with silence and will often fill the air with meaningless chatter.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span id=\"hs-cta-wrapper-eac6a883-282f-4df0-a3a5-3bdfa9851c56\" class=\"hs-cta-wrapper\"><span id=\"hs-cta-eac6a883-282f-4df0-a3a5-3bdfa9851c56\" class=\"hs-cta-node hs-cta-eac6a883-282f-4df0-a3a5-3bdfa9851c56\"><a href=\"https:\/\/cta-redirect.hubspot.com\/cta\/redirect\/455190\/eac6a883-282f-4df0-a3a5-3bdfa9851c56\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"hs-cta-img-eac6a883-282f-4df0-a3a5-3bdfa9851c56\" class=\"hs-cta-img lazyload\" style=\"border-width: 0px\" data-src=\"https:\/\/no-cache.hubspot.com\/cta\/default\/455190\/eac6a883-282f-4df0-a3a5-3bdfa9851c56.png\" alt=\"The big (free) eBook of negotiations language\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"hs-cta-img-eac6a883-282f-4df0-a3a5-3bdfa9851c56\" class=\"hs-cta-img\" style=\"border-width: 0px\" src=\"https:\/\/no-cache.hubspot.com\/cta\/default\/455190\/eac6a883-282f-4df0-a3a5-3bdfa9851c56.png\" alt=\"The big (free) eBook of negotiations language\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p>        hbspt.cta.load(455190, &#8218;eac6a883-282f-4df0-a3a5-3bdfa9851c56&#8216;, {});<\/p>\n<p><\/span><!-- end HubSpot Call-to-Action Code --><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: right\">\u201cA Finn and a Swede go into a sauna.\u00a0 After 30 minutes the Swede says \u201cIt\u2019s hot in here\u201d.\u00a0 The Finn replies \u201cYou Swedes &#8211; you talk too much.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Why am I sharing this? If, like me, you\u2019re from a culture where communication is direct, silence is a hard skill to master. But whether it\u2019s a cultural norm, a question of personality, or even a trained skill, being comfortable with silence when negotiating is essential if you want to reach your goals. \u00a0When used in a subtle and careful manner, silence can reshape negotiations and extract surprising amounts of information while leaving your counterpart feeling they are in charge of the conversation.<\/p>\n<h2>Value added question + silence = insight<\/h2>\n<p>A good negotiator, no matter what nationality, will probably be assertive but charming, have good questioning skills, and handle pressure well. Questioning skills are a must \u2013 and here silence plays a role. Silence can prompt your counterpart to share more than they planned to \u2013 verbally or non-verbally.<\/p>\n<p>Poor negotiators will often answer their own question: \u201cWhat price were you thinking of? I was going to suggest something in the region of \u20ac 105 per unit.\u201d. Poor negotiators do not ask enough value added questions \u2013 a value added question being one that makes the other party pause and consider, e.g. \u201cHow did you arrive at that figure?\u201d \u201cWhat are the consequences for your clients?\u201d \u201cHow can we help you sell this concept inside your organisation?\u201d Answering value added questions needs time. Use the silence to observe your partner.<\/p>\n<h2>You have the right to be silent<\/h2>\n<p>Let\u2019s assume you have asked a good question and the other party is taking his\/her time to answer. A few seconds is not a problem, but after ten it can become tense. Learn to look serene and confident, smile at the other party, look at your notes and scribble something. Stay connected to the other party with body language and eye contact. At some point the other party may buy time and say \u201cI\u2019ll get back to you.\u201d Alternatively you can also suggest moving on to another point. But give silence a chance.<\/p>\n<p>And if the roles are reversed you have the right to be silent. Do not shoot from the hip with a half-baked, badly thought through answer. Learn to be comfortable with silence. \u201cI\u2019m thinking this through\u201d, \u201cI\u2019d like to explore this idea, give me a minute\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ll get back to you.\u201d will buy you time.<\/p>\n<h2>Learning to use silence in negotiations &#8211; the role of training and practice<\/h2>\n<p>Silence has to be practised and refined in training or coaching. Training helps you become aware of your relationship to silence; then develop the skills to use it subtly and effectively through role plays, real plays and critical incidents. Training goves you the opportunity to repeat situations and develop awareness, confidence and mechanisms for handling silence. You can practice asking the right questions, leaving room for the other party to develop a sensible answer, practice NOT shooting from the hip, and practice behavioural strategies that make the silence comfortable for both you and your opposite number.<\/p>\n<p>And remember &#8211; when negotiating silence is not a threat; silence is golden.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A few weeks ago I was chatting to a purchaser who worked in the automotive industry. The conversation drifted to the topic of negotiating and we began to compare countries and styles. The purchaser, a Norwegian, said half in jest but seriously enough, \u201cYou English cannot handle silence\u201d. As a full-blooded Brit I can only [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":39,"featured_media":13892,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[94,93,92],"tags":[25,33,107],"class_list":["post-13890","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hybrid-solutions","category-intercultural-2","category-soft-skills-pathway","tag-intercultural","tag-meetings","tag-negotiating"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Negotiation tactics - Why silence is golden<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you\u2019re from a culture where communication is direct, silence is a hard skill to master. 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