{"id":14018,"date":"2016-04-27T12:29:59","date_gmt":"2016-04-27T10:29:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/?p=14018"},"modified":"2016-05-08T14:24:33","modified_gmt":"2016-05-08T12:24:33","slug":"5-simple-assertiveness-strategies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/de\/5-simple-assertiveness-strategies\/","title":{"rendered":"5 simple assertiveness strategies (for teddy bears and tortoises)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>We all know the feeling. You come out of a meeting, negotiation or a conflict discussion with a difficult team member, and say to yourself, \u201cIf I had only said or done this.\u201d Or \u201cWas I too hard on my report?\u201d For whatever reason, you aren\u2019t asserting yourself and addressing the issue.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2>What do we mean by assertiveness?<\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/hs.targettraining.eu\/onep\/alf\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-10698 lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf-288x300.jpg\" alt=\"listening skills target training\" width=\"200\" height=\"208\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf-288x300.jpg 288w, https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf-120x125.jpg 120w, https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf-72x75.jpg 72w, https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf-36x36.jpg 36w, https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf-450x469.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf.jpg 626w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 200px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 200\/208;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-10698\" src=\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf-288x300.jpg\" alt=\"listening skills target training\" width=\"200\" height=\"208\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf-288x300.jpg 288w, https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf-120x125.jpg 120w, https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf-72x75.jpg 72w, https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf-36x36.jpg 36w, https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf-450x469.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/alf.jpg 626w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a>Before going any further we ought to agree and be clear what \u201cbeing assertive\u201d is. We have all experienced managers, experts who have the ability to set people on the right course, give negative feedback without breaking the relationship, or make a tough point without being offensive or hurtful. They handle substance and people equally well \u2026and that is true assertiveness. These people have good communication skills, are blessed with social and emotional intelligence and have reached <a href=\"http:\/\/www.businessballs.com\/consciouscompetencelearningmodel.htm\">the fourth level of &#8222;conscious competence&#8220;<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>Free Download<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Very quickly, here&#8217;s the fourth level, explained in more detail:<\/p>\n<h3><b>Level 4 &#8211; unconscious competence*<\/b><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>the skill becomes so practised that it enters the unconscious parts of the brain &#8211; it becomes &#8217;second nature&#8216;<\/li>\n<li>common examples are driving, sports activities, typing, manual dexterity tasks, listening and communicating<\/li>\n<li>it becomes possible for certain skills to be performed while doing something else, for example, knitting while reading a book<\/li>\n<li>the person might now be able to teach others in the skill concerned, although after some time of being unconsciously competent the person might actually have difficulty in explaining exactly how they do it &#8211; the skill has become largely instinctual<\/li>\n<li>this arguably gives rise to the need for long-standing unconscious competence to be checked periodically against new standards<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>*Taken from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.businessballs.com\/consciouscompetencelearningmodel.htm\">http:\/\/www.businessballs.com\/consciouscompetencelearningmodel.htm<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<p>But this takes time, experience and maybe innate ability. So what about us mere mortals lower down the food chain who struggle with the substance\/people balance?<\/p>\n<h2>Assertiveness starts with knowing our rights and responsibilities<\/h2>\n<p>In the world of learning and development we understand that being assertive is being aware we have rights and responsibilities. In other words, we have the right to assert our position, but (especially as a manager) we have the responsibility to be fair and to respect our reports and colleagues. This easier said than done. Furthermore it is often those who tend to play the teddy bear (accommodate), or the tortoise (avoid conflict) who need most support and coaching. People who tend to be pushy, or even aggressive (the sharks), normally feel quite good about themselves. So here are 5 strategies for teddy bears and tortoises.<\/p>\n<h2>5 communication strategies that work<\/h2>\n<h3><strong>Scripting<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>If you have a difficult discussion coming up, then write down your key arguments, how you can best convince the other party. Script how you address the issue, how you formulate what you want, how you word criticism and other sensitive issues. Unless you are very experienced, just relying on intuition and &#8217;seeing where the moment will take you&#8216; can be costly.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>SPIN<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>When you want something out of the ordinary from a team member or colleague, then script using the SPIN formula: Situation \u2013 Problem \u2013 Impact (of the problem on the business) \u2013 Need. In other words involve the report by briefly describing the context. Involve them and treat them as adults.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Saying no<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>As a manager you have the right to say no. If you want to say \u201cNo\u201d, then say it but give a reason and maybe provide an alternative. If you want to say \u201cYes\u201d, then say that too. We have all come across people who appear to say \u201cNo\u201d on principle. This might be useful in a negotiation, but counterproductive when dealing with staff.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Broken Record<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Sometimes your opposite number just refuses to take \u201cno\u201d for an answer. Provided you are 100% clear on your position, then it\u2019s time to play broken record. Like the old-fashioned vinyl LPs with a deep scratch, you simply repeat yourself, NO plus reason, always using the same wording: e.g: \u201cAs I said I cannot give you a pay rise, as there is a freeze on salaries.\u201d, then \u201cI understand your position but as I said \u2026\u2026\u201d and so on. Using this strategy takes courage and should be used sparingly and only with difficult people. Even the most obstinate will get your point after three rounds.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Buy Time<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>People are not stupid. If they want a favour or a concession, they will approach you when you are under pressure, with no time. This can mean you are unprepared and certainly unscripted. So if you are at all unsure about your response, then buy time: \u201cLet me get back to you when I have finished this.\u201d You will come to regret shooting from the hip and start kicking yourself, \u201cWhy on earth did I say that?\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>Most of us cannot be assertive on command<\/h2>\n<p>Our behaviour is determined by our fight, flee or freeze instincts. Assertiveness is a conscious way of thinking and acting. These five simple strategies will help you develop your assertiveness. But, as with nearly everything, it takes practice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We all know the feeling. You come out of a meeting, negotiation or a conflict discussion with a difficult team member, and say to yourself, \u201cIf I had only said or done this.\u201d Or \u201cWas I too hard on my report?\u201d For whatever reason, you aren\u2019t asserting yourself and addressing the issue. What do we [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":39,"featured_media":13943,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[92],"tags":[115,99,105],"class_list":["post-14018","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-soft-skills-pathway","tag-influencing","tag-leadership","tag-managing-others"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>5 simple assertiveness strategies<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Assertiveness is a conscious way of thinking and acting. 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These five simple strategies will help you develop your assertiveness.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/5-simple-assertiveness-strategies\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Target Training GmbH\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/TargetTrainingGmbh\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-04-27T10:29:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-05-08T12:24:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Fotolia_105378615_M.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1639\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1159\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Tony Norman\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Verfasst von\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Tony Norman\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Gesch\u00e4tzte Lesezeit\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 Minuten\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/5-simple-assertiveness-strategies\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/5-simple-assertiveness-strategies\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Tony Norman\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/#\/schema\/person\/e0a656fbc6e17945437c8e09546f63ef\"},\"headline\":\"5 simple assertiveness strategies (for teddy bears and tortoises)\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-04-27T10:29:59+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-05-08T12:24:33+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/5-simple-assertiveness-strategies\/\"},\"wordCount\":839,\"commentCount\":2,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/5-simple-assertiveness-strategies\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Fotolia_105378615_M.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"influencing\",\"leadership\",\"managing others\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Soft Skills\"],\"inLanguage\":\"de-DE\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/5-simple-assertiveness-strategies\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/5-simple-assertiveness-strategies\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/5-simple-assertiveness-strategies\/\",\"name\":\"5 simple assertiveness strategies\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/5-simple-assertiveness-strategies\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/5-simple-assertiveness-strategies\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Fotolia_105378615_M.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-04-27T10:29:59+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-05-08T12:24:33+00:00\",\"description\":\"Assertiveness is a conscious way of thinking and acting. 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