{"id":14492,"date":"2016-06-08T11:51:25","date_gmt":"2016-06-08T09:51:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/?p=14492"},"modified":"2018-06-06T12:29:26","modified_gmt":"2018-06-06T10:29:26","slug":"dont-sweat-everybodys-wrong-sometimes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/de\/dont-sweat-everybodys-wrong-sometimes\/","title":{"rendered":"Don&#8217;t sweat it &#8211; everybody&#8217;s wrong sometimes, even your boss"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>In this video, Kathryn Schultz tells us that by the time we\u2019re nine years old, we have already learned that the best way to succeed in life is to never be wrong. You should watch the video if you want to know how she came to that conclusion and a few others \u2013 when you have ten minutes.<\/strong><\/p>\n<div  class='avia-video av-wmmekc-104ac25c876097e0c9547cd07797dc8a avia-video-4-3 av-no-preview-image avia-video-load-always av-lazyload-immediate av-lazyload-video-embed'  itemprop=\"video\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/VideoObject\"  data-original_url='http:\/\/www.ted.com\/talks\/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong#t-269116'><script type='text\/html' class='av-video-tmpl'><div class='avia-iframe-wrap'><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/embed-ssl.ted.com\/talks\/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong.html\" width=\"1500\" height=\"844\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen><\/iframe><\/div><\/script><div class='av-click-to-play-overlay'><div class=\"avia_playpause_icon\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<h2>Everybody&#8217;s wrong sometimes<\/h2>\n<p>Some of Kathryn\u2019s words (if you don\u2019t have time to watch it right now), and main points are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Realizing you\u2019re wrong can make you feel embarrassed or stupid, but being wrong itself doesn\u2019t feel like anything.<\/li>\n<li>The first thing we usually do when someone disagrees with us is we just assume they&#8217;re ignorant.<\/li>\n<li>The second is that they\u2019re idiots.<\/li>\n<li>Then we move on to a third assumption: they know the truth, and they are deliberately distorting it for their own malevolent purposes.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>There\u2019s nothing wrong with being wrong<\/h2>\n<p>Assuming that Kathryn\u2019s assumptions are correct, you can see why telling someone that they\u2019re wrong could prove to be the biggest mistake you\u2019ve ever made \u2013 all depending on who is on the receiving end of course. Now, let\u2019s say that person is your boss, your teamleader, or anyone in your company with more authority. Speaking for myself and my conflict avoiding personality &#8211; Difficult conversations always have a moment or two where I say completely the wrong thing. To others, determining to even speak to the boss about being wrong is enough to bring on sleepless nights.<\/p>\n<p>Before you do decide to confront the person who was wrong, consider this:<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Don\u2019t pick the wrong battles<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>To speak up or not to speak up about it? I don\u2019t know, is it worth it and\/or important?<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Don\u2019t talk about the wrong thing at the wrong time<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Stick to the topic, make the time to have a proper conversation (in private) and give your boss time to prepare.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Don\u2019t say the wrong things<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>It\u2019s just not the right time to say things like \u201cI told you so\u201d or \u201cI knew this would happen\u201d and to place blame. It\u2019s already done, who cares? How can we fix it?<\/p>\n<h2>The DESC model<\/h2>\n<p>Once you\u2019re ready to have the conversation, you can use the DESC model to structure your message &#8211; positively. This assertiveness model is perfect for giving negative feedback or criticism. It\u2019s simple and it works. It\u2019s for this reason that participants in our \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/a-practial-toolbox-for-managers\/\">Practical Toolbox for Managers<\/a>\u201d seminars often highlight DESC as one of the most valuable tools they take away.<\/p>\n<p><strong>D<\/strong><strong>escription<\/strong> &#8211; In a private setting, start by describing what you have observed. It\u2019s important to be objective and concrete at this stage. Take responsibility for the feedback by using \u201cI\u201d statements.<\/p>\n<p><strong>E<\/strong><strong>ffect \/ emotion <\/strong>\u2013 Once you have described what you observed, move on to the effect or impact this has had. If the effect was an emotion, share this openly. Feedback is always personal in the sense that it is between people about people. Emotions play a part in interpersonal relationships and by naming them and getting them out into the open, you can deal with them in an professional manner.<\/p>\n<p><strong>S<\/strong><strong>olution &#8211; <\/strong>Now move on to what you like to see happen. This could be directive e.g. \u201cWhat I would like you to do next time is \u2026\u201d. Even better, build the solution together using a participative approach e.g. \u201cWhat do you think we can do to avoid this next time?\u201d.<\/p>\n<p><strong>C<\/strong><strong>onclusion (commitments and contract) &#8211; <\/strong>End your feedback conversation by building a \u201ccontract of commitment\u201d. Check you have a mutually common understanding of what has been agreed, and get commitment for the future. Then conclude looking forward.<\/p>\n<h2>The 6 most horrific bosses of all time<\/h2>\n<p>I did some Googling on this topic. With any luck, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cracked.com\/article\/89_the-6-most-horrific-bosses-all-time\/\">your boss is nothing like these bosses were.<\/a>..so go ahead and have your conversation &#8211; you have nothing to loose. And finally, <a href=\"http:\/\/money.usnews.com\/money\/blogs\/outside-voices-careers\/2013\/08\/21\/10-things-bad-bosses-say\">here are 10 things a good boss would never say<\/a>. Enjoy.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In this video, Kathryn Schultz tells us that by the time we\u2019re nine years old, we have already learned that the best way to succeed in life is to never be wrong. You should watch the video if you want to know how she came to that conclusion and a few others \u2013 when you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"video","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[92],"tags":[112,99,113,105],"class_list":["post-14492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-video","hentry","category-soft-skills-pathway","tag-difficult-news","tag-leadership","tag-managing-conflict","tag-managing-others","post_format-post-format-video"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Everybody&#039;s wrong sometimes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The DESC model is perfect for giving negative feedback or criticism if someone&#039;s being wrong. 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