{"id":18494,"date":"2018-01-17T13:08:07","date_gmt":"2018-01-17T12:08:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/?p=18494"},"modified":"2018-06-06T12:29:15","modified_gmt":"2018-06-06T10:29:15","slug":"power-putting-shoes-influencing-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/de\/power-putting-shoes-influencing-people\/","title":{"rendered":"The power of putting yourself in their shoes when influencing people"},"content":{"rendered":"

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When we run seminars on <\/strong>influencing skills<\/a> we typically start off by exploring a couple of fundamental questions \u2013 one of them being how do people feel about the idea of influencing others and being influenced? \u00a0Over the years we\u2019ve had a surprising range of responses including \u201cIf I\u2019m the manager why must I influence -people should just do what I say\u201d to \u201cinfluencing is manipulating\u201d to \u201cI\u2019m open to new ideas and approaches \u2013 but our colleagues in the order management department aren\u2019t!\u201d. As a trainer these are always great places to start \u2013 opinions are on the table and we can openly discuss them. When we dig deeper these opinions often link into personal experiences of how people have influenced (or not). So how do people influence each other?<\/strong><\/p>\n

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The two influencing styles \u2013 pushing and pulling<\/h2>\n

Broadly speaking there are two approaches to influencing people \u2013 to push and to pull<\/a>. When we \u201cpush\u201d we are directive. We know what we want to see happen, where we want to go, what needs to be different etc. And when we \u201cpull\u201d we are looking for a joint agreement, for collaboration, discussion, commitment.\u00a0 There are different pushing styles and pulling styles, plus strategies, tactics and skills to learn BUT neither approach is inherently wrong. Influencing and manipulating draw on the same skills but with different intents.\u00a0 They both have pros and cons\u2013 and neither approach work without considering other key factors too.<\/p>\n

Factors to consider when seeking to influence somebody<\/h2>\n

When we try to influence somebody it helps to take a step back and reflect on what we know.\u00a0 What is the environment, the situation, the relationship and most importantly \u2013 what do you know about who you are trying to influence? How successful you\u2019ll be always depends upon what you know about the other person. Examples of practical questions to ask yourself when trying to influence somebody include:<\/p>\n

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  • how do they see things?<\/li>\n
  • what is their context?<\/li>\n
  • how they communicate?<\/li>\n
  • how do they like to be communicated with?<\/li>\n
  • how do they take in information and make decisions?<\/li>\n
  • what are their experiences \u2013 with me, with change, with the theme I\u2019m talking about<\/li>\n
  • what turns then on? What turns them off??<\/li>\n
  • what do they want to happen, not want to happen and why?<\/li>\n
  • what are their hopes and fears?<\/li>\n
  • Who else has an influence upon them? and does this influence help or hinder?<\/li>\n
  • What is in it for them? their colleagues? Their organization?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    First seek to understand the other person \u2013 a transcultural truth<\/h2>\n

    The more you understand the person you are seeking to influence the more effectively you can influence them. As dale Carnegie said in How to win friends and influence people<\/em> \u201cI love strawberries. But whenever I go fishing I bait my hook with worms. This is because fish like worms \u2013 not strawberries.\u201d<\/p>\n

    In English we have expression like put yourself in their shoes, put yourself in their place<\/em>, see the world through their eyes <\/em>and<\/em> walk a mile in their shoes.\u00a0 <\/em>And of course the idea of putting yourself in somebody else\u2019s shoes is transcultural! \u00a0Germans say<\/em> eine Meile in seinen Schuhen gehen, <\/em>Italians<\/em> mettersi nei miei panni, <\/em>French<\/em> se mettre \u00e0 la place de quelqu\u2019un … <\/em>All cultures- whether it be Europe, the Americas, Africa or Asia and the Pacific have similar expressions.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Put simply, if you want to influence somebody then seek to understand where they are and who they are.\u00a0 Start by understanding their situation, use your emotional and social intelligence and then adapt.<\/em><\/p>\n

    And if, like me, you\u2019ve got the song \u201cWalk a mile in my shoes\u201d going around in your head now .. here it is. <\/em><\/p>\n