{"id":25929,"date":"2018-11-27T14:11:42","date_gmt":"2018-11-27T13:11:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/?p=25929"},"modified":"2020-05-20T13:03:52","modified_gmt":"2020-05-20T11:03:52","slug":"nobody-likes-giving-negative-feedback-but-many-of-us-want-to-hear-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/de\/nobody-likes-giving-negative-feedback-but-many-of-us-want-to-hear-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Nobody likes giving negative feedback – but many of us want to hear it"},"content":{"rendered":"

If someone is unhappy with your performance at work, wouldn\u2019t you want to know? At the very least, you’d like an opportunity to clear the air, or address the problem, or explain…or something. Yet when it comes to giving negative or difficult feedback, most of us feel reluctant to give it. We don’t want to hurt the other person or we are afraid of a conflict, so we end up avoiding it. No, giving negative feedback is not one of the enjoyable aspects of managing people. Doing it constructively is a challenge for the best of us, and even when we do it well \u2013 who\u2019s to say that your feedback is taken on board and improvements are made? <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"The

Here are 7 tips to get you started, and they are explained in more detail below:<\/h2>\n
    \n
  1. Be clear about what you want at the end before you begin<\/li>\n
  2. Use language that focuses on the situation, not on the person<\/li>\n
  3. Turn up to the conversation, stay there and speak out<\/li>\n
  4. Be open, try to be objective, don\u2019t judge<\/li>\n
  5. Demonstrate understanding<\/li>\n
  6. Give examples and share patterns – and the impact on you\/others<\/li>\n
  7. Believe in change<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Be clear about what you want at the end before you begin
    \n<\/strong><\/h4>\n

    What is obvious to you is not always obvious to others. People cannot look into your head (or heart) and guess how you\u2019d like things. You need to be able to explain, in simple and safe language, what you want from the conversation and why you are starting it. Think about it, picture it. Simply saying that you want something to improve is not enough, it means different things to different people. Be specific and focus on the future. A useful approach is to know if this is an A, B or C discussion.\u00a0 Are you focusing on a specific Action, an ongoing Behaviour or possible Consequences ? Try not to mix them. Another approach my colleagues use in training is \u201cfeed forward not back\u201d.<\/p>\n

    And finally, think about this: if you’re giving negative feedback because you want to \u2018make a point\u2019 \u2013 there really is no point.<\/p>\n

    Use language that focuses on the situation, not on the person<\/h4>\n

    Giving negative feedback is always a very personal thing, for both parties. Keep this is in mind when the other person takes your feedback personal. There are no magic phrases to use when giving negative feedback but avoid language like \u201cyou did\u201d and \u201cyou shouldn\u2019t have\u201d. Owning your sentence with \u201cI\u201d is a better place than judging or blaming with \u201cyou\u201d. Try sentences that start with \u201cI noticed\u201d or \u201cI saw\u201d. Avoid using „I think“ or \u201cI heard\u201d as this implies a personal feeling, gossip, and\/or judgement. Do keep in mind though that the \u201cI\u201d isn\u2019t magic. If you are blaming somebody, the \u201cI\u201d doesn\u2019t change how they react.<\/a> And if you are managing people consider sometimes using \u201cour\u201d or \u201cwe\u201d as a replacement for \u201cI\u201d.<\/a><\/p>\n

    Given time to absorb and reflect, most of us are grown-up enough to move past the personal impact of what is being said. More often than not, once we look back on the situation, we\u2019re glad that someone gave us the feedback and brought it to our attention so that we can try to change our behaviour, or take appropriate action.<\/p>\n

    Turn up to the conversation, stay there and speak out<\/h4>\n

    If you are going to give difficult or negative feedback you need to be present in the moment. You are committed to the conversation because<\/em> you believe both parties will benefit. Shut out unhelpful self-talk like \u201cwell it won\u2019t make any difference\u201d or \u201c I knew he would say that when I said this“.\u00a0 You both need to focus on this conversation and the outcome. You owe it to both of you to say what you think and feel, taking responsibility for your words and the outcome.<\/p>\n

    Be open, try to be objective, don\u2019t judge<\/h4>\n

    Don\u2019t be vague, don\u2019t be ambiguous. If the situation is a big deal, don\u2019t call it a minor issue. Be open to receiving feedback on your feedback. Listening is as important as talking. Effective feedback is always a two-way street. And remember, what is obvious to others is not always obvious to you.<\/p>\n

    It’s almost never a good idea to judge others by your standards. You would<\/em> do this or that, if you were him or her in this situation? You\u2019re not him or her, you\u2019re you. Or, he or she should <\/em>do this or that in this situation? Better yet, if you were him or her, you wouldn\u2019t even be in this situation\u2026 None of that means anything, beyond that you are different people.<\/p>\n

    Demonstrate understanding<\/h4>\n

    For feedback to lead to a positive outcome for both sides you need to demonstrate understanding.\u00a0 You can do this by \u2026<\/p>\n