{"id":29530,"date":"2019-04-28T13:18:24","date_gmt":"2019-04-28T11:18:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/die-vier-reiter-verachtung-und-einmauern-am-arbeitsplatz\/"},"modified":"2019-11-06T09:27:37","modified_gmt":"2019-11-06T08:27:37","slug":"die-vier-reiter-verachtung-und-einmauern-am-arbeitsplatz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.targettraining.eu\/de\/die-vier-reiter-verachtung-und-einmauern-am-arbeitsplatz\/","title":{"rendered":"Die vier Reiter: Verachtung und Einmauern am Arbeitsplatz"},"content":{"rendered":"

Healthy and respectful working relationships are a must if you want an effective and enjoyable workplace.\u00a0 In the first post of this series, I introduced John Gottmann\u2019s work on <\/strong>the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.<\/a><\/strong> In the second post, <\/strong>we looked at what you can do to tackle the toxic behaviours of criticizing & blaming and defensiveness.<\/a><\/strong> This blog post will dive deeper into the last 2 toxic behaviours \u2013 and possibly the most damaging of the 4: <\/strong>stonewalling & contempt<\/strong><\/em>. We\u2019ll explore why they happen, their impact and how both parties can change things for the better. \u00a0We\u2019ll end with what a manger can do when they see these behaviours within their teams.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Contempt<\/h2>\n

Contempt is when somebody makes it clear that they feel somebody has no value and deserves no respect. As it has been built brick-by-brick over time, it is tough to dismantle, and is probably the most destructive behaviour amongst Gottman\u2019s \u201cFour Horsemen\u201d<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Contempt can manifest itself as ongoing sarcasm, cynicism, insults and aggressive, belittling or mocking humour. It can be seen in small gestures (eye-rolling when a colleague starts talking in a meeting, snorting at the mention of a project, a smirk or a single \u201chah\u201d when a\u00a0 colleagues name is mentioned) to full on mocking and cruel statements e.g. \u201cWow, you\u2019ve done better than I ever expected \u2013 even by your standards that\u2019s truly great work Susanne. You must be exhausted after having made so many mistakes\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

When somebody shows contempt, they are actually communicating that they see themselves as better and worth more.<\/p>\n

Why do we do show contempt?<\/h4>\n

Feelings of contempt are typically built up over time – negative experiences create their own story and, too often, nobody has tackled the situation effectively. This can leave a person feeling frustrated and angry and looking to establish some sort of \u201csuperiority\u201d. \u00a0Contempt can also come from a sense of moral superiority based on class, cultural or religious differences. Peers can feed into it or enable it.<\/p>\n

What happens when we show contempt?<\/h4>\n

Contempt destroys teams and relationships. It prevents trust and respect and makes it hard for any real human warmth. It is tangibly damaging, causes stress and can harm people emotionally, mentally and ultimately physically.<\/p>\n

So, what can the person showing contempt do differently?<\/h4>\n

Truth be told, if you are showing contempt for others there is a good chance you no longer care about turning things around. However, if you have a high level of self-awareness and realise that you have become somebody you don\u2019t want to be then this is already a great step. Going forward you can focus on redefining your relationship with your colleague through …<\/p>\n