AI Is Changing What Makes You Valuable at Work

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In this post, we explore four human capabilities that are becoming increasingly important in an AI-enabled workplace: judgement, influence, relationship building and adaptability.

  • Reading time
  • 5 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Professionals, managers and leaders navigating how AI is changing the workplace and the skills that matter most.

Recently, a participant in one of our workshops made an observation that really stayed with me. “I’m not worried that AI will replace me. I’m worried that I’ll become less valuable if I don’t know what I should still be doing.” That comment captured something we’re hearing more often. People are less worried about whether AI can do parts of their job. Most have already seen that it can draft emails, analyse information, create presentations and generate ideas. The questiona they’re asking are where they still add value.

  • What makes someone valuable when AI can produce a decent first draft in seconds?
  • Which skills become more important when information is abundant and AI can automate many routine tasks?

These are important questions because AI is not replacing all human skills equally. Some skills are becoming easier to automate. Others are becoming significantly more valuable. In this post, we’ll look at the human capabilities that are increasing in value in an AI-enabled workplace, and some practical ways to strengthen them.

 

The value of work has shifted

One of the biggest changes AI is creating is in the value of work itself. AI can create a first draft, generate options, summarise information or organise ideas. What it cannot do is take full responsibility for the quality of the outcome. That means the human value of work is increasingly shifting towards:

  • making good judgements
  • understanding context
  • influencing people
  • building trust
  • making decisions under uncertainty

Put another way, the question has shifted from “Can AI do this task?” to “What part of this task requires uniquely human value?”

Let’s look more closely at some of the human skills that are increasing in value.

The skills that are increasing in value in an AI-enabled workplace

Judgement

This is the skill we believe is increasing the fastest. Judgement means weighing evidence, recognising trade-offs and making decisions when there is no perfect answer. For example, AI might generate three plausible strategies for a client. Choosing the right one requires understanding the client’s history, politics, risk appetite and long-term goals. AI can generate recommendations, but it cannot be accountable for them. The human contribution is deciding which option makes sense in the real-world context—and being prepared to stand behind that decision.

Before accepting an AI recommendation, ask yourself: What does AI not know about this situation that could change my decision?

Influence

Influence is about understanding what matters to other people, adapting your communication, handling resistance and creating alignment. AI can write a persuasive message but it cannot build commitment.

For example, an AI-generated proposal may be logically sound, but it may fail because it ignores the concerns of key stakeholders, the history of the relationship or the dynamics between people involved. AI can help you think about how to communicate. But the human value lies in understanding how that communication will land with the people involved.

Before relying on an AI-generated message or recommendation, ask yourself: What do I know about these people that AI doesn’t know?

Relationship building

Relationships are built through trust, reliability and understanding. In many organisations, the most valuable people are not the ones with the most information. They are the ones who can collaborate across teams, navigate conflict and build long-term credibility.
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AI cannot replace this, or even come near to it. For example, AI can help with advice on approaching a difficult feedback conversation. It cannot build the trust that makes the conversation effective becasuse it doesn’t know the history of the relationship, what has happened before or how the other person is likely to respond.

Before using AI to help you navigate an important relationship, ask yourself: What do I know about this relationship that AI doesn’t know?

Adaptability

The people who thrive in periods of technological change are rarely those who know everything. They are the people who learn quickly, experiment, adapt and keep developing. They are also willing to try things that might not work. Rather than seeing every setback as failure, they use it as information about what to do differently next time. In a workplace where the tools, processes and expectations are changing, the ability to keep learning may become more valuable than any single technical skill.

Ask yourself: What could I try doing now without waiting for the right answer?

Summary and Key Takeaways

AI is changing the way we work, but it is not changing the value of all skills in the same way. As AI takes on more routine production, some distinctly human capabilities become more important.

The opportunity is not to compete with AI. It is to understand where your own contribution adds something AI cannot.

  • Judgement is becoming more valuable. AI can generate options and recommendations, but people still need to assess evidence, weigh trade-offs and make decisions in context.
  • Context matters more when information is abundant. Having access to information is no longer enough. Understanding what matters, what is missing and what is relevant to a particular situation becomes increasingly important.
  • Influence cannot be automated easily. AI can help us communicate more clearly and persuasively, but creating alignment, handling resistance and gaining commitment still depends on understanding people.
  • Relationships remain a source of human value. Trust, credibility and an understanding of history and relationships are difficult to replicate through technology.
  • AI increases the importance of accountability. AI can contribute to a decision, but someone still needs to take responsibility for the outcome. Being willing and able to stand behind a decision is an increasingly important part of human contribution.
  • Adaptability may matter more than any single technical skill. As AI tools, processes and expectations continue to change, the ability to learn, experiment and adjust may become one of the most valuable capabilities at work.

The goal is not to compete with AI. The most valuable people may be those who understand what AI does well, where its limitations are and how to combine it with distinctly human capabilities.

Ask what AI doesn’t know. A useful way to identify your own value is to consider what context, relationships, judgement or experience you bring that an AI system cannot see.

Ultimately, the question is not simply “What can AI do?” It is “What should I still be doing?”

The answer increasingly lies in the skills that help us make sense of complexity, work effectively with other people and take responsibility for decisions and outcomes.

These are not skills that sit outside the world of AI. They are the skills that help us make better use of it.

If you’d like to explore these ideas further, we recommend:

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How to Help Other People Listen Better

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This post explores the other side of the conversation: what speakers can do to make listening easier. It offers practical ways to prepare listeners, communicate more effectively, and increase the chances that your message is understood as intended.

  • Reading time
  • 9 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Anyone who wants to communicate more effectively at work, particularly managers, team leaders, project managers, and professionals who regularly explain ideas, solve problems, or influence others.

We deliver a lot of communication training. None the many sessions we deliver to our clients focus on listening skills. The topic of listening skills usually appears as part of a broader programme—effective communication in virtual teams, coaching skills for managers, giving feedback, difficult conversations. Is that because our clients think everyone is already a great listener? No. They know that poor listening causes problems at work every day. I think the reason is simpler: listening feels like a life skill. Unlike presenting, writing reports or leading a department, it’s something we assume we’ve learned simply by growing up.

The trouble is, research consistently suggests that we’re not nearly as good at listening as we think we are. Great listeners are rare. In leadership, some studies estimate they make up only a small percentage of people. Research on informational listening—the ability to accurately retain and understand information—shows that most of us overestimate our own ability. Which means there are probably people in your life who interrupt, jump to conclusions, filter what you say through their own experiences, get distracted halfway through the conversation or begin solving a problem before they’ve fully understood it.

Most articles and also our training solutions focus on becoming a better listener. This one takes the opposite perspective.

Consider for a moment, all those people who aren’t being listened to. The colleague whose explanation gets interrupted before they’ve finished. The project manager who keeps raising a scheduling conflict that nobody seems to hear. The employee who leaves a meeting thinking, I don’t think anyone actually understood what I was trying to say.

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What can you do to help other people listen better?

We can’t control how someone else listens. We can, however, make it easier for them to succeed.

Here are nine ways to do that.

  • Prepare them for listening.
  • Ask whether they have time to listen.
  • Look for the type of listener you need.
  • Tell them how you need them to listen.
  • Ask them where they’d like to start.
  • Highlight what matters most.
  • Give them time to process.
  • Ask them to summarise what they heard.
  • Acknowledge the listening.

Prepare them for listening

We often assume that if someone doesn’t understand us, they’ll simply ask questions. They don’t always do that.  At work we explain complex situations, hoping the other person will recognise the issue, validate our concerns or arrive at the same conclusion we have. If we’re still organising our own thoughts—or we’re communicating something emotionally charged—that makes listening even harder. A listener has to separate facts from feelings, context from content and assumptions from evidence.

If you know what kind of conversation you want to have, you can set expectations with your listeners.

For example:

  • “Would you mind if I just talked for a few minutes before we start troubleshooting this problem?”
  • “I’m nervous about Tuesday’s meeting. Could I talk it through with you?”

Those simple introductions prepare people for the kind of listening you’re asking them to do.

Ask whether they have time to listen

Listening requires space, attention and willingness. Those three things aren’t always available. If someone is rushing between meetings, answering emails or thinking about the next deadline, they probably aren’t going to give you their best attention, however willing they may be. Sometimes the simplest question produces the biggest improvement.

For example:

  • “Is now a good time to talk about something?”
  • “When would you have ten minutes to properly listen to this?”

Look for the type of listener you need

Listening is a skill, but people don’t all listen in the same way. The right listener often matters just as much as the right message.

Some listeners are naturally time-oriented. They appreciate concise explanations and want you to get to the point. Others are people-oriented. They naturally focus on relationships, emotions and experiences. Some enjoy analysing ideas, identifying risks and solving problems. Others excel at helping you think aloud without rushing to conclusions.

So, If you need someone to challenge your thinking and pressure-test an idea, look for a critical listener. If what you really need is someone who understands your frustration before suggesting solutions, look for an empathetic listener.

Tell them how you need them to listen

Don’t assume people know what you need simply because they’ve heard your words. Do you want understanding? Reflection? Practical advice? A decision? Emotional support? Giving people a listening role helps them listen with purpose.

Imagine you’re presenting a new idea to six colleagues. Everyone hears the same words, but they process them differently. Some notice your enthusiasm. Others immediately start evaluating the risks. Someone else begins reflecting your ideas back to you, while another starts thinking about implementation.

People can listen in different ways – they have a preferred style and type but for many listeners, the situation and the speaker determine which listening style they use.

So, tell them which listening style or type to use. For example: “I would like everyone to use their best critical listening skills, do you think this idea has any merit, and if yes, how can we get it implemented?”

Ask them where they’d like to start

How do you get someone to listen? By presenting the information in the way they prefer it. This is especially useful when you’re communicating something complex. Perhaps you need to explain the background, the data, the risks, your recommendation and the impact on the team. Rather than deciding where to begin yourself, ask your listener.

For example: “Would you prefer the short version first, or would it help if I explained the background?”

Some people want the conclusion before the detail. Others need the context before the recommendation makes sense. Starting where your listener is naturally interested makes it much easier for them to stay engaged.

Highlight what matters most

Conversations rarely stay on track by themselves. A discussion about a project suddenly becomes a discussion about workload, customer satisfaction or team morale. All of those topics may be important, but they can also distract from the reason you started talking in the first place. When you notice the conversation drifting, gently bring it back.

For example: “Those are all important conversations, and I’d like to come back to them. Right now, the priority for me is resolving the issues with this project because my team have been waiting for feedback.”

Your listener doesn’t have to remember everything. They won’t. Help them remember the part that matters most.

Give them time to process

Listening doesn’t stop when you stop talking. Many people need a few moments to organise what they’ve heard before responding.

Resist the temptation to fill every silence. Don’t immediately ask, “Does that make sense?” after two seconds. Don’t jump back in because you’ve thought of one more thing to add.

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is simply wait.

Ask them to summarise what they heard

Great listeners often summarise naturally. “So what I’m hearing is…”

But you don’t have to wait for that to happen. Especially in important conversations, it’s perfectly reasonable to ask: “Just so I know I’ve explained this clearly, would you mind summarising what you’ve understood?”`

If their summary differs from what you intended, you’ve discovered a misunderstanding while there’s still time to correct it.

Acknowledge the listening

Finally, recognise that listening has taken place—even when the other person hasn’t interpreted your message the way you hoped. Perhaps you wanted to discuss a solution, but your listener focused on the problem instead. Perhaps they heard additional work where you saw opportunity. That doesn’t necessarily mean they weren’t listening.

Listening is an active process of interpretation. People hear your words through the lens of their own experiences, assumptions, priorities and concerns. You can’t completely control what someone hears.

What you can do is acknowledge where they have understood you, clarify where they haven’t and continue the conversation from there.

Conclusion

Listeners have different needs, different attention spans, different ways of processing information, and different expectations about the conversation. The more we can prepare them, guide them, and make it easier for them to listen well, the more likely we are to achieve understanding.

Listening will always be a shared responsibility. While we should all continue to develop our own listening skills, we can also become better communicators by taking some responsibility for how our message is received.

Key Takeaways

  • Listening is a shared responsibility. Yes, we should all try to become better listeners. But if we only think about listening from the listener’s perspective, we miss half of the conversation.
  • As speakers, we have more influence than we sometimes realise.
  • By preparing people for the conversation, choosing the right listener, explaining what kind of listening you need and making your message easier to process, you dramatically increase the chances of being heard.
  • Sometimes the difference between feeling listened to or not listened to isn’t finding a better listener. It’s helping the listener you already have.
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Building Trust in Working Relationships: The Behaviours That Make People Trust You

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This post provides a practial framework for understanding trust and explores the everyday behaviours that increase and weaken it. 

  • Reading time
  • 5 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Leaders, managers, facilitators, and professionals who want to improve collaboration, strengthen relationships, and build trust within their teams.

Introduction

Trust is one of those things we know is important, but often struggle to define. We know when we don’t have it. A lack of trust is easy to define. Conversations feel guarded, commitments are questioned, and collaboration becomes harder. But when someone asks us “How exactly do you build trust?”, the answer is often surprisingly vague.

In this article, we’ll explore a practical way to understand trust in working relationships: the Trust Equation. Developed by David Maister, Charles Green and Robert Galford, this model breaks trust down into four elements that influence how trustworthy others perceive us to be: credibility, reliability, intimacy and self-orientation.

By understanding these elements, we can move beyond the idea that trust is simply something we “have” or “don’t have” and instead focus on the everyday behaviours that build stronger professional relationships.

Why use it?

For the teams we work with, being able to break down trust into specific and easy-to-understand elements is always a great first step to identifying how to demonstrate behaviours that can build more trust. In short: the Trust Equation helps teams move from “we need more trust” to understanding exactly what behaviours create it, because it:

  1. creates a shared language
  2. shows trust can be developed
  3. improves collaboration
  4. helps leaders understand their impact
  5. diagnoses relationship challenges
  6. supports modern, distributed teams

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The Trust Equation: Four factors that influence trust 

The Trust Equation is useful in the workplace because it turns something that often feels vague and personal (“I trust this person”) into something we can understand, discuss and improve. Many organisations talk about the importance of trust, but people often mean different things by it. One person might think trust means competence. Another might think it means honesty. Someone else might define it as feeling safe enough to speak openly.

The Trust Equation (David Maister, Charles Green & Robert Galford, 2004, The Trusted Advisor) breaks down trust (T) into an equation of 4 elements:

  • C = Credibility – Do people believe I know what I’m talking about?
  • R = Reliability – Can people count on me?
  • I = Intimacy – Do people feel safe being open with me?
  • S = Self-Orientation – Do people believe I care about their needs, or mainly my own?

 

For trust to “work” in the workplace, it requires high scores in the first three elements (C, R, I) but a low score in the final one (S). In other words, the Trust Equation tells us that high self-orientation undermines the other elements that are essential for trust.

How to Build (or Lose) Trust in the Workplace

Credibility – “Do people believe I know what I’m talking about?”

Credibility is about the confidence others have in your knowledge, skills and judgement. You don’t need to have all the answers but that you are as competent and honest about your abilities.

You build credibility by:

  • demonstrating your expertise through your work
  • communicating clearly and confidently
  • backing up your opinions with evidence or experience
  • admitting when you don’t know something and finding the answer

You lose credibility by:

  • exaggerating your knowledge
  • making claims you can’t support
  • giving inconsistent information
  • pretending to know more than you do

Reliability – “Can people count on me?”

Reliability is about consistency. People trust colleagues who do what they say they will do. Reliability isn’t about doing everything perfectly or always being available. It’s about being dependable and communicating clearly.

You build reliability by:

  • meeting deadlines
  • following through on commitments
  • preparing for meetings
  • communicating early if plans need to change
  • doing the small things consistently well

You lose reliability by:

  • frequently missing deadlines
  • overpromising and underdelivering
  • forgetting commitments
  • failing to keep people informed

Intimacy – “Do people feel safe being open with me?”

Intimacy in the workplace means creating a sense of psychological safety where people feel comfortable being honest, asking questions or admitting mistakes. People trust those who make them feel respected rather than judged.

You build intimacy by:

  • listening without interrupting
  • showing empathy
  • respecting confidentiality
  • asking genuine questions
  • admitting your own mistakes
  • giving people your full attention

You weaken intimacy by:

  • dismissing concerns
  • interrupting frequently
  • gossiping
  • reacting defensively
  • criticising people rather than ideas

Self-orientation – “Whose interests come first?”

Self-orientation is about where people believe your attention is focused. When people believe you’re primarily interested in helping yourself, trust declines—even if you’re highly competent.

You reduce self-orientation by:

  • asking more questions than you answer
  • being curious about other people’s priorities
  • sharing credit
  • listening before offering solutions
  • making decisions that benefit the team, not just yourself

High self-orientation often looks like:

  • dominating conversations
  • constantly promoting your own ideas
  • taking credit for shared success
  • ignoring other people’s concerns
  • focusing on being right

Final thoughts

Trust is built through hundreds of small, everyday interactions. The Trust Equation reminds us that trust is less about intention and more about experience. People trust us when they see consistent competence, reliability, openness and genuine concern for their interests.

The good news is that every element of the equation can be strengthened through deliberate behaviour. Rather than asking, “How can I get people to trust me?”, a better question is, “Which part of the Trust Equation should I improve today?”

Trusted Advisor offers a free Trust Quotient Assessment which we highly recommend because the results include feedback on which elements are strengths and weaknesses for you.

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The Manager’s Guide to Building Trust: Understanding Emotional Bank Accounts

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This post explores Stephen R. Covey’s Emotional Bank Account concept and how managers can use it to strengthen relationships, improve communication, and create higher-performing teams. It includes practical ways to make more positive deposits, repair trust when withdrawals happen, and a 10-minute reflection activity to help you assess your own team relationships.

  • Reading time
  • 8 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Managers, team leaders, and anyone responsible for building trust, engagement, and performance within a team.

Whether you’re leading a team through change, managing a hybrid workforce, or trying to improve performance, the quality of your relationships has a direct impact on your success as a manager. When there is trust between people, they are more likely to share ideas, raise concerns, accept feedback, and work collaboratively. When trust is lacking, even routine conversations can become difficult.

One of the most useful ways to think about trust in the workplace comes from Stephen R. Covey’s concept of the Emotional Bank Account, from The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Every interaction either makes a deposit or a withdrawal. In Covey’s own words:

 

“An emotional bank account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship.  It’s the feeling of safeness you have with another human being.  When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.”

 

Deposits are made through positive actions—such as keeping promises, listening with empathy, recognising good work, and treating people with respect. Withdrawals are made through negative actions: dismissing concerns, breaking commitments, or failing to communicate openly.

For managers, this analogy is a practical leadership tool. Every conversation, decision, and action either strengthens or weakens the relationships that underpin team performance. Understanding how to make regular deposits into your team’s emotional bank accounts can help create an environment where people feel valued, supported, and motivated to do their best work.

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Why should managers care about emotional bank accounts?

Few managers would argue against the importance of trust. Most leaders want to build positive, productive relationships where people feel respected, valued, and motivated to do their best work. Leadership qualities such as authenticity, credibility, empathy, and trust continue to be recognised as essential for effective management.

Building strong relationships is about much more than being a “nice” manager. Trust has a measurable impact on performance. Meaningful and strong relationships in the workplace lead directly to tangible results. Teams with high levels of trust tend to experience better communication, stronger engagement, and higher levels of commitment.

As a manager, your success is closely linked to the success of your team. Every interaction—whether you’re delegating work, coaching, recognising achievements, resolving conflict, leading meetings, or having a difficult conversation—either strengthens or weakens the relationships that support high performance. These everyday moments are opportunities to make deposits into, or withdrawals from, your team’s emotional bank accounts.

Managers who consistently invest in relationships build the trust needed to navigate challenges, encourage innovation, and sustain performance over the long term. Conversely, when withdrawals outweigh deposits, trust begins to erode. Without that foundation, even the most capable teams can struggle with engagement, collaboration, and accountability.

How do you build a healthy emotional bank account with your team?

Trust is built through consistent, everyday behaviour. While every individual and team is different, Stephen Covey identified several practical ways managers can make regular “deposits” into their team’s emotional bank accounts.

Understand the individual

Everyone values different things. One employee may appreciate public recognition, while another would rather receive a quiet thank you. Taking time to understand what motivates each person, how they like to be recognised, and what matters to them allows you to build stronger, more meaningful relationships.

Keep your commitments

One of the quickest ways to build trust is to do what you say you’ll do. Keeping promises, following through on commitments, being reliable, and respecting deadlines all demonstrate that people can depend on you. Equally, broken promises and missed commitments quickly become withdrawals.

Clarify expectations

Misunderstandings often arise because people make different assumptions. Taking time to agree on priorities, responsibilities, deadlines, and expected outcomes helps prevent confusion and reduces unnecessary frustration—particularly when working remotely or across different locations.

Pay attention to the little things

Small actions can have a lasting impact. Saying thank you, checking in on someone’s wellbeing, remembering important milestones, listening without distractions, or simply making time for a conversation all help strengthen relationships. These everyday moments often matter more than grand gestures.

Demonstrate personal integrity

Trust grows when managers act consistently and fairly. Being honest, admitting mistakes, treating people with respect, and behaving in line with your values all reinforce your credibility. Integrity isn’t something you switch on when it’s convenient—it’s reflected in your actions every day.

When you make a withdrawal, apologise sincerely

Every manager makes mistakes, misses commitments, or says the wrong thing. What matters is how we respond.

A sincere apology can be one of the most powerful deposits you make after a withdrawal. Acknowledging your actions, taking responsibility, and making amends demonstrates humility, integrity, and respect. It also shows your team that accountability applies to everyone—not just them.

Managers who apologise when they’ve got it wrong don’t lose credibility—they often strengthen it. Admitting mistakes builds trust and creates a culture where people feel safe to learn, take responsibility, and support one another.

Putting emotional bank accounts into practice – A 10-minute activity for managers

Understanding the idea of emotional bank accounts is useful, but the real value comes from applying it to your own relationships. Every manager has relationships that are strong, relationships that need attention, and moments where they may have made more withdrawals than deposits.

The following activity is designed to help you reflect on your current relationships with your team and identify practical actions you can take to build more trust. It isn’t about judging yourself or creating a perfect balance sheet—it is about increasing your awareness and making intentional choices about how you lead.

Step 1: Choose five people

Write down the names of five team members who are critical to your team’s success.

Step 2: Review your recent interactions

Look back over the past two weeks. Use your calendar, emails, messages, and memory to identify moments that were likely to be deposits or withdrawals.

For each person, create two simple lists:

**Deposits**

  • Listened without interrupting
  • Recognised good work
  • Kept a commitment
  • Offered support or coaching
  • Showed appreciation

**Withdrawals**

  • Cancelled or rushed a meeting
  • Failed to follow through
  • Gave unclear expectations
  • Dismissed a contribution
  • Had a difficult conversation that didn’t go well

Don’t worry about making the list perfect—you’re looking for patterns rather than keeping score.

Step 3: Think about what matters to them

Now put your notes aside for a while. When you come back, write down what you know about each person.

  • What motivates them?
  • What gives them energy?
  • How do they prefer to receive recognition?
  • How do they like to communicate?
  • What behaviours from a manager help them feel trusted and valued?

Remember, deposits are personal. What builds trust with one employee may have little impact—or even feel like a withdrawal—to another.

Step 4: Make a plan

Looking at your notes, ask yourself:

  • Which relationships need more deposits?
  • What could I do differently over the next month?
  • What specific opportunities already exist in my calendar?

Rather than making a vague commitment to “be a better listener”, identify real moments where you can put it into practice. For example, use your next one-to-one meeting to ask more questions before offering solutions, or take time to recognise a recent achievement.

Small, consistent deposits build trust over time. Choose one or two actions and commit to making them part of your everyday leadership.

Key takeaways

Building healthy emotional bank accounts is not about occasional big gestures. It is about the small, consistent actions that shape how people experience working with you.

The key points to remember are:

  • Trust is built through everyday interactions. Every conversation, decision, and action can either strengthen or weaken a relationship.
  • Deposits are personal. What one person experiences as recognition or support may not have the same impact on someone else. Take time to understand the individuals in your team.
  • Reliability matters. Keeping commitments, clarifying expectations, and following through are some of the simplest ways to build trust.
  • Mistakes happen. Effective managers recognise when they have made a withdrawal, take responsibility, and work to rebuild trust.
  • Strong relationships enable performance. Emotional bank accounts are not separate from results—they are one of the foundations that allow teams to collaborate, adapt, and succeed.

Great managers don’t build trust through one big action. They build it through hundreds of small deposits made consistently over time.

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The Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse at Work: Contempt and Stonewalling

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The third post in our series exploring John Gottman’s Four Horsemen in the workplace. This post looks at contempt and stonewalling — why they happen, how they can affect working relationships and psychological safety, and what we can do to break these patterns.

  • Reading time
  • 10 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Managers, team leaders and professionals who want to build more open, constructive and productive working relationships — particularly when conversations become difficult.

In the first post of this series, we introduced John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse — criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling — and explored how these behaviours can gradually undermine trust, communication and collaboration in the workplace. In the second post, we took a closer look at criticism and defensiveness: why they happen, how they can reinforce each other, and what we can do to break the cycle.

In this post, we turn to the remaining two Horsemen: contempt and stonewalling.

These behaviours can be particularly damaging because they can signal that a working relationship has moved beyond a disagreement about an issue. Contempt attacks the relationship itself, while stonewalling withdraws from it. Both can make it increasingly difficult to have the open, constructive conversations that teams need.

So, why do contempt and stonewalling happen? What impact can they have on working relationships? And, if you recognise these behaviours in yourself, a colleague or your team, what can you do to change the pattern?

 

Why do we show contempt?

Contempt is when our behaviour communicates that we see someone as inferior, unworthy of respect, or simply not worth taking seriously. As it has been built brick-by-brick over time, it is tough to dismantle, and is probably the most destructive behaviour amongst Gottman’s “Four Horsemen”.

    • We’re frustrated. We may have reached the point where we feel that the same issues keep happening and nothing seems to change.
    • We’ve lost respect. Repeated disappointments or difficult interactions can gradually change how we see someone. We may start to question their judgement, competence or commitment.
    • We’re making assumptions. We might begin to interpret someone’s behaviour through a negative lens — assuming they’re simply “not getting it.”
    • We feel superior. Sometimes contempt comes from believing that we know better or that our way of doing things is the only sensible approach. This can make it tempting to dismiss or belittle another person’s ideas.
    • We’re trying to protect ourselves. Sarcasm, mockery or dismissiveness can sometimes be a way of covering up our own frustration, insecurity or vulnerability.
    • It has become a habit. In teams where sarcasm, eye-rolling or dismissing opinions has become normal, we may not even realise how disrespectful our behaviour has become.
    • We don’t know how to express our frustration constructively. When we haven’t found a productive way to address an ongoing problem, contempt can become an outlet for emotions that have been building up.

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How does contempt show up in the workplace?

Contempt can be surprisingly easy to miss, particularly when it is disguised as “just the way we talk to each other.” It can manifest itself as ongoing sarcasm, cynicism, and aggressive, belittling or mocking humour.

Sometimes it appears in small gestures rather than words: an eye-roll when a colleague starts talking in a meeting, a smirk at the mention of a project, or a quiet “hah” when a colleague’s name is mentioned. Contempt can also be much more direct. It might involve dismissive comments about someone’s ideas, mocking their mistakes, questioning their competence, or making insulting statements about their character.

It can also show up in the way we treat someone’s work, time or requests. Repeatedly ignoring a colleague’s emails or requests, failing to deliver something we have agreed to do, consistently missing deadlines without explanation, or treating another person’s priorities as unimportant can all communicate a similar message: your needs, your time or your work don’t matter enough to me.

And contempt isn’t necessarily directed at people. We can also develop contempt for ideas, decisions, processes or the organisation itself. We might routinely dismiss a particular process as “ridiculous”, roll our eyes whenever a certain procedure is mentioned, or talk about leadership, policies or other teams as though they are inherently incompetent. A degree of healthy scepticism is important in any organisation, and processes should absolutely be challenged when they aren’t working. But when criticism becomes habitual cynicism or blanket dismissal, it can have a similar corrosive effect.

This matters because contempt towards a process or decision can easily become contempt towards the people associated with it. “This process makes no sense” can gradually become “the people who designed this process have no idea what they’re doing.” Once that happens, it becomes much harder to have a constructive conversation about how the process could actually be improved.

Again, context is important. Everyone misses a deadline occasionally, forgets an email or has competing priorities. These behaviours become more significant when they form a repeated pattern.

The important thing is to look at the pattern and the message behind the behaviour. Healthy teams can use humour, challenge each other and disagree. Contempt is different because the humour or criticism is being used to diminish another person rather than address the issue.

When contempt is high, psychological safety is low

One of the challenges with contempt is that it can be easy to mistake it for a sign of a close, comfortable team. A team can look relaxed, confident and full of laughter on the surface while psychological safety is actually declining underneath.

A dismissive or cynical comment gets called “banter” or “team dynamics” and these comments can give the impression that psychological safety is high. After all, people are comfortable enough to joke, tease and challenge each other. But there is an important difference between banter that everyone enjoys and using humour to put ideas down or make people feel uncomfortable.

When contempt becomes part of a team’s culture, people start to censor themselves. They may stop sharing an idea or avoid asking a question because they don’t want to look foolish. If people feel they have to laugh along, stay quiet or avoid difficult conversations to belong, psychological safety is already low — however friendly the team might appear.

And this is where contempt becomes particularly damaging. It doesn’t just affect the person on the receiving end. It can change the behaviour of everyone watching. People learn what happens when someone speaks up, gets something wrong or challenges the status quo — and they adjust their own behaviour accordingly.

Contempt: How can we change our behaviour and mindset?

Treating someone with contempt and explaining it away with “Well, I was frustrated with him because of how the meeting went” is a tempting trap. We may have good reasons to be frustrated or disappointed but someone else’s behaviour does not make contempt inevitable — or excuse how we choose to treat others. Contempt comes from the way we see others and the way we choose to behave towards them.

Changing contempt is about choosing not to reduce a person or situation to our frustration. The first step is to separate the person from the problem. We can be deeply frustrated by someone’s behaviour without disrespecting or dismissing them.

That shift matters because it moves us away from judging the person and towards addressing the behaviour.

It also helps to challenge the story we have built around the other person. When repeated frustration turns into contempt, we start filtering everything they do through what we already believe about them. For example: A missed deadline becomes evidence that they are unreliable. Once we start seeing someone this way, it becomes much easier to respond with contempt.

It also means challenging our own assumptions. If we find ourselves thinking, “They never listen,” “They don’t care,” or “They often make things more complicated,” we can pause and ask ourselves whether we are responding to what is actually happening now or to a story we have built up over time.

We can also make a conscious effort to replace contempt with respect. Respect doesn’t require us to agree with someone, like their approach or overlook problems. We can challenge, disagree and hold people accountable while still treating them as someone whose perspective and dignity matter.

Changing contempt starts with recognising when frustration about someone’s behaviour has become a judgement about the person.

The mindset shift is from judgement to curiosity, and from the person being the problem to the problem being the problem.

Why do we stonewall?

  • We feel overwhelmed. Difficult conversations can trigger strong emotions, and sometimes our instinct is to shut down rather than risk saying something we will regret.
  • We’re trying to avoid conflict. If previous conversations have ended badly, avoiding the conversation can feel safer.
  • We feel criticised or attacked. When we feel blamed or judged, we may retreat as a way of protecting ourselves rather than continuing a conversation that feels threatening.
  • We don’t know what to say. Sometimes we genuinely don’t have an answer or don’t know how to respond, so silence feels easier.
  • We’re frustrated. If we believe we’ve already explained ourselves or that the other person isn’t listening, we may decide that there is no point continuing the conversation.
  • We want to regain control. Withdrawing from a conversation can sometimes be a way of taking back a sense of control when we feel powerless or uncomfortable.
  • It has become a habit. If withdrawing has worked for us in the past, we may start doing it automatically whenever a conversation becomes uncomfortable.
  • We’re using silence to punish or control. In some cases, stonewalling is deliberate. We may ignore messages, refuse to respond or deliberately withhold engagement because we want the other person to feel frustrated, excluded or powerless.

The important distinction is between taking a healthy pause and refusing to engage. Saying, “I’m getting frustrated and need 20 minutes to clear my head. Can we come back to this afterwards?” is very different from simply walking away, going silent and leaving the other person wondering whether the conversation will ever happen.

How does stonewalling show up in the workplace?

Stonewalling is the repeated pattern of withdrawing from communication or cooperation in a way that makes it difficult for the other person to move the conversation or work forward. When that happens, stonewalling becomes more than taking a break — it becomes a barrier that negatively impacts everyone in the team.

As with the other Horsemen, context and pattern matter. Not responding in a meeting doesn’t mean someone is stonewalling. Nor does taking a while to respond to an email. People get busy, need time to think and sometimes need a break from a difficult conversation. The difference is what happens next. A healthy pause has a way back in. We might say, “I need some time to get my thoughts straight on this. Can we pick it up tomorrow?” Stonewalling leaves the other person with no clear route back into the conversation.

Stonewalling can be obvious. Someone may simply refuse to engage in a conversation or make it clear that they are not prepared to discuss an issue. They refuse to answer when a question is asked or an issue is raised, walk away from a meeting when something difficult comes up, or shut down the conversation with comments such as, “I’m not discussing this,” “There’s nothing more to say,” or “Whatever.” They may deliberately stop speaking to a colleague altogether, or refuse to participate in a discussion, meeting or problem-solving process because they don’t want to engage with the person or the issue.

However, in the workplace, stonewalling can be much more subtle and can easily be mistaken for being busy, distracted or simply not interested. It might look like repeatedly putting off responding to messages or requests, particularly when they involve a difficult issue or a colleague we are frustrated with. We say, “Let’s talk about it later,” without ever making the time to do so. We might technically respond to a colleague, but give only one-word answers, vague replies or just enough information to end the conversation.

Stonewalling can also show up in how we collaborate. Following a disagreement, we stop offering ideas, contributing in meetings or engaging with a colleague’s work. We might withhold information, fail to provide input or delay completing something another colleague needs, without a legitimate reason.

Sometimes, nothing needs to be said at all. Avoiding eye contact, no longer acknowledging someone, or becoming noticeably colder towards them can communicate displeasure and create distance without a single word being spoken.

Stonewalling: How can we change our behaviour and mindset?

If we recognise stonewalling in the team, the first step is to understand what is happening before we try to change it. Are we genuinely overwhelmed and in need of a pause, or are we avoiding a conversation because it feels uncomfortable? Are we taking time to think, or are we using silence to punish, frustrate or control the other person?

If stonewalling has become part of a team’s way of dealing with conflict, changing it starts with creating a different expectation around difficult conversations. Taking a break from the situation / conversation shoFuld create space to think, not become a way of avoiding the issue. The goal is to create a team where people can take a pause, ask for time to think and step away when necessary — but where there is always a route back into the conversation.

The mindset shift is from avoidance to  engagement: “We need to find a way to stay engaged, even when the conversation is uncomfortable.”

This means making “I need some time to think” an acceptable response, while making sure that “I’ll get back to you” actually means something. If someone needs to step away from a difficult conversation, agree when and how it will be picked up again. A manager can model this themselves: “We’re not going to resolve this right now. Before everyone gets more frustrated, let’s take a break and come back to it at 3pm.”

 

Key takeaways

  • Contempt is more than frustration. It happens when frustration turns into judgement, dismissal or a belief that someone is not worthy of our respect.
  • Look for patterns, not isolated incidents. An eye-roll, missed deadline or delayed response doesn’t automatically mean contempt or stonewalling. Context and repetition matter.
  • Contempt is ours to own. Other people’s behaviour may frustrate or disappoint us, but it doesn’t excuse treating them with contempt. The change starts with the person showing it.
  • Healthy challenge isn’t contempt. Teams need to question decisions, challenge processes and disagree. The difference is whether we are addressing the issue or diminishing the person behind it.
  • A pause isn’t stonewalling. Taking time to calm down or think can be healthy. The important thing is to create a route back into the conversation.
  • Both behaviours affect more than the people involved. Contempt can undermine psychological safety, while stonewalling creates uncertainty and makes it harder for teams to communicate and collaborate.
  • The goal isn’t to avoid difficult conversations. It’s to stay respectful and engaged when those conversations become difficult.

 

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Leading through change: A guide for managers

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This post explores how managers can lead through change by understanding how people experience change, communicating effectively, building trust, and supporting their teams as they adapt.

  • Reading time
  • 10 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Managers, team leaders, and anyone responsible for helping people navigate change, maintain engagement, and deliver results during periods of uncertainty or transition.

Change has become a constant part of working life. Whether it is a new strategy, a change in structure, new technology, evolving customer expectations, or different ways of working, teams are regularly asked to adapt.

People experience change differently. Some may see change as opportunity and embrace new possibilities, while others may feel uncertain or concerned about what the change means for them. For managers, the biggest challenge is helping people understand what is happening, navigate uncertainty, and stay engaged throughout the transition. Their role is not to remove every difficulty, but to provide clarity, support, and direction when people need it most.

Successful change happens when people feel informed, involved, and supported. In this article, we explore practical ways managers can help their teams adapt, build confidence, and move forward during times of change.

 

“Change has a bad reputation in our society. But it isn’t all bad – not by any means. In fact, change is necessary in life – to keep us moving … to keep us growing … to keep us interested … Imagine life without change. It would be static … boring … dull.”

Dr. Dennis O’Grady

 

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Changing how people feel about change

When organisations introduce change, managers often focus on what needs to happen: new processes, new systems, new behaviours, or new ways of working. But successful change depends just as much on how people feel about it.

People do not usually resist change itself. They often resist uncertainty, a lack of control, or not understanding why the change is happening. A change that seems logical from a business perspective can still feel challenging from an individual perspective.

Managers play an important role in helping people move from uncertainty to confidence. This does not mean convincing everyone that change is easy or ignoring legitimate concerns. It means creating the conditions where people feel informed, supported, and able to adapt.

Understanding how people experience change: the Satir Change Model

People rarely move through change in a straight line or at the same speed. Some team members may embrace change quickly, while others may need more time and support.The Satir Change Model helps explain the emotional journey people often experience when facing something new. The model describes five stages:

Late status quo

Before change happens, people are familiar with the current way of working. Even if things are not perfect, there is a sense of stability and predictability.

Resistance

When change is introduced, people often experience uncertainty. They may question the reasons for the change, worry about the impact on them, or feel frustrated about leaving familiar ways of working behind. This is not necessarily negativity—it is often a natural response to uncertainty.

Chaos

As people let go of old ways and learn new ones, there can be a period of confusion and reduced confidence. Mistakes may happen, productivity may dip, and people may need additional support.

Integration

Gradually, people begin to understand the new reality. They develop new skills, find new ways of working, and start to see the benefits of the change.

New status quo

Eventually, the change becomes the new normal. People regain confidence, performance improves, and the new behaviours or processes become established.

 

“Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.”

James Belasco and Ralph Stayer

Change happens through people

One of the biggest mistakes organisations make during change is viewing people as a barrier to progress. When employees question decisions, raise concerns, or struggle to adapt, it can be tempting to label them as “resistant to change.”

But people are not obstacles to overcome. People are the reason why the change will be successful (or not).

Concerns, questions, and different perspectives are often valuable sources of information. They can highlight practical challenges, identify risks, and reveal where more clarity and support are needed. A team member who asks difficult questions may not be blocking change—they may be helping the organisation understand what is needed to make it work.

The role of a manager is not to eliminate all uncertainty or convince everyone to feel positive about the change. It is to create an environment where people feel heard, supported, and involved.

This means:

  • listening to concerns before responding
  • asking for input where people can genuinely influence the outcome
  • explaining decisions and the reasons behind them
  • recognising that different people will adapt at different speeds

When people push back against change, the easiest response is often to see it as a problem. But resistance is usually a signal that something needs attention.

A concern may indicate that someone:

  • does not understand the reason for the change
  • feels they have not been listened to
  • is worried about their ability to succeed
  • has experienced poorly managed change in the past
  • needs more information, time, or support

The best managers do not ask, “How do I overcome resistance?” They ask, “What is this resistance/concern telling me, and what support do people need to move forward?”

How to communicate change effectively

Effective communication is one of the biggest factors influencing how people experience change. When information is limited, people naturally fill the gaps themselves—and those assumptions are not always helpful. During change, managers do not need to have every answer, but they do need to create clarity. People want to understand what is happening, why it is happening, and what it means for them.

Communicating change successfully doesn’t automatically mean that you’ll achieve change successfully, because ultimately, the organizational capacity for change relies heavily on the individual’s capacity for change. In other words, some people will reach the New Status Quo much faster than others, others not at all. Some will have few problems, others a lot. But there’s no doubt about it, you need a communication plan/strategy to accompany the change.

Effective change communication starts with four key questions:

Why is this change happening?

People are more likely to support change when they understand the reason behind it. Explain the purpose, the challenges being addressed, and the benefits the change is intended to create.

What will change, and what will stay the same?

Uncertainty often comes from not knowing what the future looks like. Be clear about what will be different, including any changes to processes, responsibilities, behaviours, or ways of working. Avoid focusing only on the solution. Help people understand the journey from where they are now to where they need to be.

How will this affect people?

Everyone affected by change will naturally ask: “How will this impact me?” Managers should consider what individuals need to know about their role, expectations, skills, priorities, and day-to-day work. Avoid communicating only from the organisation’s perspective.

Consider the questions employees will have:

  • How will this impact my role?
  • What will I need to learn?
  • What support will I receive?
  • What is expected of me?

How can people share their thoughts and concerns?

Communication during change should be a conversation, not just an announcement. Create opportunities for people to ask questions, share concerns, and provide feedback. Listening does not mean every request can be acted upon, but it shows people that their experience matters.

A few tips for managers:

  • Communicate early, even when some details are still developing.
  • Repeat key messages—people rarely absorb important information the first time.
  • Be honest when you don’t know something and commit to finding out.
  • Avoid overly positive messages that ignore genuine challenges.
  • Adapt your communication to the needs of different individuals and teams.

During change (uncertainty), people often judge the message by the messenger. Managers who communicate openly, consistently, and with empathy help create the trust people need to move forward.

Are we there yet? – The importance of measuring progress and highlighting success

When people are asked to change, one of the questions they naturally ask is: How will I know this is working?”

Without clear signs of progress, change can feel endless. People may put in significant effort without knowing whether they are moving in the right direction, whether the change is having an impact, or whether their contribution is making a difference.

Understanding what success looks like helps people connect their daily actions with the bigger goal. They need to know:

  • What outcomes are we working towards?
  • How will we measure progress?
  • What will be different when the change is successful?
  • How will we know that the effort has been worthwhile?

Clear measures provide direction and confidence. They help people understand what is expected, recognise improvements, and see how their role contributes to the overall success of the change.

It is also important to recognise that success is not only about reaching the final destination. During change, progress often happens through small steps: learning new skills, adopting new behaviours, solving problems, and finding better ways of working.

When managers highlight these moments, they help people see that progress is happening. Celebrating milestones, sharing success stories, and recognising individual contributions all build confidence and motivation.

Summary

Leading through change is about helping people navigate uncertainty, understand the reason behind the change, and feel supported as they adapt. As a manager, you don’t need to have all the answers or convince people that the change will be good and easy to achieve.

Successful change happens when managers recognise the human side of change. People need clarity, communication, involvement, and evidence that their efforts are making a difference. They need to feel that they are part of the change, not as someone who the change is happening to.

The most effective managers understand that change is a journey. Different people will move through that journey at different speeds, and each person may need different levels of support. By building trust, listening to concerns, communicating openly, and recognising progress, managers can help their teams move from uncertainty towards confidence and commitment.

Key takeaways

  • Change is personal. People respond to change differently based on their experiences, concerns, and perception of what they may gain or lose. Understanding where people are in the change process helps managers respond more effectively. Someone in the resistance stage may need clarity and reassurance, while someone in the chaos stage may need coaching and practical support.
  • Resistance is often a signal, not a problem. Questions and concerns can reveal where people need more information, involvement, or support.
  • Communication creates clarity. People need to understand why the change is happening, what it means for them, and how success will be measured.
  • People support what they help create. Involving employees where possible builds ownership, trust, and commitment.
  • Managers set the tone during change. The way leaders communicate, behave, and respond to uncertainty has a significant impact on how people experience change.
  • Progress needs to be visible. Recognising small wins, celebrating milestones, and highlighting success helps people see that their efforts are making a difference.
  • The goal is not to rush people through change. The goal is to provide the support, clarity, and confidence people need to successfully navigate it.
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Practical tools for understanding team dynamics and building high-performing teams

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This post explores three practical tools — Belbin, MBTI and Insights Discovery — and how they can help leaders understand team dynamics, identify strengths and challenges, and create better conversations about how their teams work together.

  • Reading time
  • 8 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Team leaders, managers and HR/L&D professionals who want to better understand their teams and create the conditions for stronger collaboration and performance.

 

Here’s a question we sometimes put in front of our training participants: What do you get when you put capable individuals in a group and give them a common goal? The answer isn’t necessarily ‘a capable team’. Individual capability does not automatically translate into team success. A team’s performance depends on how well its members work together — how they communicate, make decisions, handle differences, build trust and hold each other accountable. The main challenge for many teams is to create the conditions that allow individual capability to become collective performance.

Fortunately, there are a range of practical tools that give teams different ways to explore dynamics, identify strengths and potential challenges, and create a shared language for talking about team performance.

 

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Belbin Team Inventory

Belbin Team Roles gives teams a useful way to explore how different people contribute to a team. Rather than focusing simply on individual strengths, it looks at the different roles and contributions a team needs to work effectively. It can help teams identify where they have strengths, where there may be gaps, and how different ways of contributing can complement each other.

Belbin team roles can be very useful in a team-development context, but it works best when treated as a conversation starter rather than a diagnosis of team members. Its biggest practical value is that it gives a team a shared language for talking about how people contribute. It’s based around nine team roles — patterns of contribution such as Coordinator, Shaper, Plant, Implementer, Completer Finisher, Teamworker, Resource Investigator, Monitor Evaluator, and Specialist.

For example, a team might discover that:

  • several people naturally generate ideas, but nobody enjoys turning them into action;
  • important details regularly fall through the cracks;
  • everyone wants to lead, creating unnecessary friction;
  • some contributions are undervalued because they are less visible.

Those are useful conversations. The value isn’t necessarily whether someone is really a “Shaper” or a “Plant”; it’s that the framework can help people step back from their usual roles and ask “What does this team need, and what are we currently missing?” It’s also useful because it shifts the conversation away from simply asking “Who is good at what?” and toward “What does the team need from its members at different points in its work?”

Belbin is not, however, a blueprint for building a successful team. People are not fixed into a single role, and a team with a good balance of roles does not automatically work well together. Communication, trust, leadership, accountability and the team’s context all matter. Belbin is most useful as a starting point — a way to generate insight and conversation that can help a team make better use of the capabilities it already has.

A team doesn’t necessarily need nine different roles. It needs enough of the right contributions at the right time.

Where it falls short

The first limitation is that people can easily take the roles too literally. Someone might score strongly as a Plant and conclude, “I’m the creative one.” Or a manager might start thinking, “She’s our Coordinator, so she should handle the coordination of every project. That’s where a useful framework can turn into a set of labels. People are more flexible than that. Their contribution changes according to the situation, the task, their experience and the people around them.

There are also questions about the psychometric strength and empirical basis of Belbin’s role model. It shouldn’t be treated like a clinical or scientifically definitive personality assessment. The roles are better understood as a practical framework for exploring team contribution than as objective descriptions of someone’s underlying personality.

And there’s a bigger limitation: Belbin tells you relatively little about whether a team actually functions well. You can have a beautifully balanced collection of Belbin roles and still have a team with poor communication, low trust, unclear goals, weak accountability or unresolved conflict.

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) gives teams a framework for exploring differences in how people prefer to take in information, make decisions and interact with the world around them. It can help team members understand why colleagues may approach the same situation differently — and why a way of working that feels natural to one person may be less comfortable for another.

In a team-development context, one of the biggest benefits of MBTI is the language it provides for talking about these differences. A team might discover, for example, that some people want time to reflect before making a decision while others prefer to think things through out loud. Some may focus naturally on facts and practical details, while others are more interested in possibilities and the bigger picture. Understanding these preferences can make it easier to adapt communication, reduce unnecessary friction and make better use of the different perspectives within a team.

The real value of MBTI is the conversation it can create: How do we prefer to work? Where might our preferences differ? And what do we need to do to work effectively with people who approach things differently?

As with any personality framework, MBTI works best as a starting point for conversation rather than a set of labels. Being an “ENTJ” or an “ISFP” does not explain everything about how someone behaves, and people are not limited to a fixed way of working. Context, experience, relationships and the demands of a particular situation all influence how we behave.

It is also important not to confuse personality preferences with capability. A preference for one way of working does not mean that someone cannot work effectively in another way. Nor does a collection of different MBTI types automatically make a high-performing team.

MBTI can provide one useful lens on team dynamics, but it is only one part of the picture. Trust, communication, leadership, accountability and a clear common purpose remain fundamental to team performance.

MBTI Team Types

MBTI can also be used to look at the team as a whole. By combining the individual preferences of team members, we can create a picture of the team’s collective preferences. This can highlight behaviours and approaches that come naturally to the team, as well as areas that may require more conscious effort.

Here’s an example of a team with combined profile ESTJ. The first graphic explains the combined strengths of the team members – these are the behaviours that come naturally to them.

MBTIteamprofile

 

And then there’s the flipside. The same team profiles as being INFP. This graphic shows the areas this team needs to be aware of because its team members don’t naturally exhibit them.

MBTIteamprofileflipside

Where MBTI falls short

The categories can feel more absolute than they are

MBTI places people into either/or preferences — for example, Introversion or Extraversion, Thinking or Feeling. In reality, people often fall somewhere along a continuum and may behave differently depending on the situation.

People can turn the types into labels

Once someone identifies as an “ENTJ” or “ISFP”, there’s a risk of using the type to explain or excuse behaviour: “That’s just how I am.” In teams, that’s potentially unhelpful. The purpose should be to understand differences and increase flexibility, not put people in boxes.

It doesn’t tell you how capable someone is

MBTI doesn’t describe competence. Being a particular type doesn’t make someone a better leader, communicator, decision-maker or team player. It also doesn’t tell you whether someone will perform well in a particular role.

The underlying psychometrics are contested

There has been substantial criticism of MBTI’s reliability and validity, particularly around the use of categorical types and the idea that people can be cleanly classified into one of two preferences on each dimension. So it is better presented as a practical framework for reflection and discussion than as a definitive assessment of personality.

Insights Discovery

Insights Discovery gives teams a simple way to explore differences in how people prefer to communicate and work with others. The model uses four colour energies — Fiery Red, Sunshine Yellow, Earth Green and Cool Blue — to help people understand their own preferences and recognise different approaches in the people around them. Everyone has a mix of all four colour energies, with some preferences being more natural or energising than others.

Its particular strength in team development is its accessibility. The colour language gives teams a shared vocabulary for talking about differences that might otherwise be difficult to articulate. A team might discover, for example, that some colleagues prefer a direct and decisive approach, while others place more emphasis on discussion and relationships. Some may want detailed information before moving forward, while others are more energised by possibilities and interaction. Recognising these preferences can help people adapt how they communicate and work together.

For a leader, this can provide a useful way of asking questions such as: How are we communicating? What might different people need from each other? Where might our preferences create friction? And where could we adapt our approach to get better results?

As with Belbin and MBTI, the value of Insights Discovery is not in putting people into boxes. The four colour energies are intended to describe preferences, and people can draw on different energies depending on the situation and environment. The framework is most useful when it increases self-awareness and encourages people to flex their behaviour, rather than when it becomes a shorthand for explaining everything about a colleague.

Where Insights Discovery falls short

The simplicity that makes Insights Discovery accessible can also be its limitation. Colour language is memorable, but it can easily become shorthand: “He’s Red” or “She’s a Blue.” This can turn a nuanced profile into a label and encourage assumptions about how someone will behave.

It is also important to distinguish preference from capability. A preference for one colour energy does not mean that someone cannot behave differently or develop their ability to do so. Nor does having a particular mix of colour energies tell you whether someone will be an effective leader or team member.

And, like the other tools, Insights Discovery does not measure team effectiveness directly.

Three tools, three different perspectives

Belbin, MBTI and Insights Discovery all help teams explore differences between people, but they do so from different perspectives. The right choice of tool for your team depends on what you want the team to understand and what conversation you want to create.

Belbin focuses on contribution. It asks: What roles and contributions do we need from people for the team to get its work done? It is particularly useful when a team wants to look at how work gets shared, where strengths and gaps exist, and whether important contributions are being overlooked.

MBTI focuses on preferences. It asks: How do we naturally tend to direct our energy, take in information and make decisions? It can help team members understand why colleagues may approach the same situation differently and why certain ways of working feel more natural to some people than to others.

Insights Discovery focuses particularly on communication and relationships. It asks: How do our behavioural preferences affect the way we communicate and interact with each other? Its accessible colour language can make differences easy to recognise and discuss, and can encourage people to think about how they adapt their approach when working with others.

There is inevitably some overlap. All three can increase self-awareness, provide a common language and help teams appreciate differences. None of them, however, provides a complete picture of team performance. The tools are lenses. They help leaders and teams see things they might otherwise miss, create better conversations and identify opportunities to work differently. The real work begins with what the team does with those insights.

Key takeaways

  • Individual capability doesn’t automatically create team performance. A group of talented people still needs to develop the ways of working that allow them to perform well together.
  • Different tools give you different lenses. Belbin looks at team contributions, MBTI at preferences, and Insights Discovery at communication and behavioural preferences.
  • Use the tool to start a conversation, not end one. The value comes from what teams learn, discuss and change as a result of using the tool.
  • Don’t put people in boxes. Profiles describe preferences or patterns; they don’t define what someone can do or how they will behave in every situation.
  • Self-awareness is only the beginning. Understanding differences matters, but high-performing teams also need trust, clear goals, effective communication, accountability and the ability to adapt.
  • Choose the tool based on the question you want to explore. The most useful tool is the one that helps your team have the conversation it needs to have.
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The elements of effective teams: 10 questions to ask

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This post explores the everyday behaviours that shape team effectiveness and includes a simple activity you can use to assess your team and identify opportunities to improve.

  • Reading time
  • 7 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Team leaders, managers and team members who want to take a closer look at how their team works—not just what it achieves.

 

A new manager in one of our training sessions commented: We have the right people, so why isn’t the team working? Behind her comment was a different question: Am I doing something wrong?

Not necessarily.

When a team is formed, we often make assumptions. For example, we assume that everyone understands the purpose, that roles and responsibilities are clear, that people will communicate effectively and that everyone knows how to work well together. We also assume that they will speak up when something isn’t working, that they will resolve disagreements constructively and that everyone has the same understanding of what the team is trying to achieve.

Often, we don’t discover that these assumptions are wrong until something goes wrong: a project misses a deadline, decisions take too long, responsibilities overlap, a disagreement becomes personal, or someone feels they aren’t being heard.

We also bring our own personalities, experiences, expectations and ways of working to the team. One person may think out loud, while another prefers time to reflect before speaking. One may be comfortable challenging ideas directly, while another may be more cautious about disagreement. Some people naturally take the lead, while others contribute by listening, questioning or bringing a different perspective.

Putting a group of capable people together doesn’t automatically create an effective team. An effective team develops through the everyday behaviours of its members: how clearly people communicate, how they handle disagreement, how they share responsibility, how they give feedback and how willing they are to learn from experience.

That’s why it’s worth taking a step back and looking at how a team actually works together—not just what it is expected to achieve.

 

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The “how”, not the “what”

The what is usually relatively easy to define. A team has targets, objectives, projects, deadlines and deliverables. These tell us what the team is there to accomplish. The how is less visible, but it is just as important. How do people communicate? How are decisions made? How are disagreements handled? How do team members share responsibility? How do they give and receive feedback? How do they respond when things don’t go according to plan?

Two teams can have exactly the same objective and very different experiences, and very different results, because of how they work together.

The “how” is found in the interactions between team members. It is the conversation before a decision is made, the way someone responds to a different opinion, whether people feel comfortable raising a concern, how responsibilities are shared and what happens when someone makes a mistake.

Over time, it’s the “how” that shapes the team’s culture, relationships and ability to get things done.

So when we talk about effective teams, we need to look beyond the question “What does this team need to achieve?” and ask: “How do we work together to achieve it?”

How effective is your team?

Here’s a simple activity we use when running workshops with existing teams. It is designed to get people talking about the how of teamwork—not just whether the team is achieving its goals.

Some of the questions may seem familiar. Others focus on aspects of teamwork that are easy to overlook, particularly when a team is focused on targets, deadlines and results. In our experience, questions around learning, reflection and relationships can receive less attention than the more tangible aspects of team performance.

Try it with your team

Select one team of which you are currently a member. This could be your department, a project team, a management team or another group you work with regularly. First, ask each team member to answer the questions individually. Rate each statement on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being low and 5 being high:

Don’t overthink your answers. Your first instinct is often useful.

  1. Do we have a clearly defined purpose?
  2. Are our roles and responsibilities well-defined, understood and followed?
  3. Do we have the tools and resources we need to achieve our objectives?
  4. Do we listen to each other?
  5. Do we all actively participate in problem solving?
  6. Do we work constructively through conflict?
  7. Does our team leader provide relevant and specific feedback on whether we are meeting expectations?
  8. Do we work and learn together?
  9. Do we take time to assess our progress and how we are working together?
  10. Would we choose to work together on another team?

Compare your answers

This is where the activity gets interesting. Don’t simply add up the scores and focus on the total. Instead, compare your answers with those of your colleagues. Where are the scores similar? Where are they different? For example, if one person gives listening a 5 and another gives it a 2, ask: What are you experiencing that led you to give this a 2?

The differences in perception can be more valuable than the scores themselves. They can reveal experiences that other team members may not be aware of.

Look beyond the numbers

You may find that your team scores highly on purpose, roles and resources, but lower on listening, conflict, learning or reflection. This isn’t necessarily a problem. It is an opportunity to ask why. Teams that are strongly focused on goals and results can sometimes spend most of their energy on what needs to be achieved and less time considering how they are working together to achieve it.

Questions 8–10 are particularly useful here. They encourage the team to step back from day-to-day tasks and consider whether they are learning together, reflecting on their progress and creating a team experience that people would want to repeat.

Turn the conversation into action

Once you’ve discussed the results, choose one area that the team would like to improve. Let’s use listening as an example.

Ask:

  • What would need to happen for you to score listening higher?
  • What is one specific thing we could change for us to score higher on listening?
  • What would be different in the team, if we were better at listening?
  • How would we notice this difference?

Your score

Effective teams should be expecting to score 40+.  Outstanding teams score 45+.

Key Takeaways

  • Having the right people isn’t enough. How people work together matters just as much as who is on the team.
  • Don’t take teamwork for granted. Purpose, roles, communication and expectations need to be made clear rather than assumed.
  • Differences can be a strength. People bring different personalities, experiences and working styles to a team. Understanding and making use of those differences can strengthen collaboration.
  • Focus on the how, not just the what. Targets, objectives and deliverables tell us what a team needs to achieve. The way people communicate, make decisions, handle conflict and share responsibility determines how they get there.
  • Team effectiveness is everyone’s responsibility. Leaders have an important role in creating the right conditions, but every team member influences how the team works.
  • Look for different perspectives. Differences in how team members experience the same team can reveal issues that aren’t visible from one person’s perspective.
  • Don’t let the numbers tell the whole story. A team assessment is most useful when it starts a conversation about what is working, what isn’t and why.
  • Small changes can make a difference. Agreeing on one specific behaviour to change is often more useful than creating a long list of improvements.
  • Effective teams keep learning. Taking time to reflect on how the team works—not just what it achieves—helps teams adapt and improve over time.
  • Ask the question regularly. How do we work together, and what could we do differently to make our team more effective?
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Action-Centred Leadership: A Practical Exercise to Find Your Leadership Balance

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This post introduces the Action-Centred Leadership Model and provides a practical exercise to help leaders reflect on how they achieve objectives, develop their people, and create high-performing teams.

  • Reading time
  • 8 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Managers, team leaders, and aspiring leaders looking for a practical framework to improve their leadership effectiveness and balance task delivery, team performance, and individual development.

Introduction

Delivering results is only one measure of an effective leader. Today’s leaders are expected to engage and develop their people, foster collaboration, navigate change, and lead across hybrid or geographically dispersed teams. We often hear about the impact of having to balance these responsibilities from participants in our leadership training programmes. “There is little time to reflect on anything and I have no idea if I’m even doing a good job in leading my team”, one participant said. And a few others nodded in agreement.

Leadership is a constant balancing act between achieving objectives, building strong teams, and developing individuals. That’s why practical leadership frameworks remain so valuable. Especially when they turn complexity into something tangible and actionable. John Adair’s Action-Centred Leadership Model remains one of the most relevant because it focuses on what leaders actually do every day.

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The John Adair action-centred leadership model

Developed by leadership expert John Adair, the Action-Centred Leadership Model has stood the test of time because of its simplicity and practicality. While the workplace has changed dramatically since the model was introduced, its core message remains highly relevant: effective leadership is about balancing three interconnected responsibilities.

 

 

Leadership circles

 

The overlapping circles illustrate that these responsibilities are interconnected. They influence one another. Progress in one area often strengthens the others. A leader who develops individuals builds a stronger team. A stronger team collaborates more effectively, making it easier to achieve objectives. Likewise, successfully achieving meaningful goals builds confidence, strengthens relationships, and creates new opportunities for individual growth.

This is why the model remains so powerful. Rather than viewing leadership as a series of competing priorities, it encourages leaders to see task, team, and individual development as mutually reinforcing. The challenge is finding the “right” balance so that each area supports the others, rather than allowing one to dominate.

Understanding the Three Leadership Responsibilities

Before reflecting on your own leadership approach, it is useful to explore what each of the three circles represents.

Achieve the task

Every leader has a responsibility to deliver results. This involves setting clear objectives, making effective decisions, solving problems, allocating resources, and ensuring that important work gets completed. Strong task leadership creates clarity. People understand what needs to be achieved, why it matters, and what success looks like.

Build and maintain the team

Results are rarely achieved by individuals working alone. Leaders also need to create the conditions for people to work effectively together. This means building trust, encouraging collaboration, creating a shared sense of purpose, managing conflict constructively, and developing a team environment where people feel motivated to contribute.

Develop individuals

Effective leaders recognise that every team member has different strengths, motivations, and development needs. Developing individuals involves coaching, providing meaningful feedback, recognising achievements, delegating opportunities, and helping people build the skills and confidence they need to grow.

A practical exercise to reflect on your leadership balance

This exercise is not intended to provide an objective assessment of your leadership effectiveness. Its purpose is to encourage honest reflection and help you identify where small changes could make the biggest difference. Applying it to your own leadership is where the real value of this model lies.

You’ll need an uninterrupted 10 minutes, pen and paper.

Step 1 – draw your 3 circles

  • Take a moment and think about how well you are performing in the three areas.
  • Now take a pen and draw the three circles in proportion to how satisfied you are with your performance in each area. (and not how much time you spend on each area).  For example, if you feel that you are doing a good job of achieving the task, but your team members aren’t really developing and there’s very little team building then you might have something like the example below:

LeadershipStep 2 – reflect on your leadership balance

Now look at your circles and consider the following questions:

  • How satisfied are you with your current leadership balance?
  • Which area would have the greatest impact if you improved it?
  • What three specific actions could you take to strengthen your effectiveness?
  • What has prevented you from taking these actions so far, and how could you overcome those barriers?

Step 3 – choose 1 action 

Choose one practical step you can take in the coming days and commit to doing it. Small changes in how you lead—such as having an open conversation, clarifying expectations, or creating more opportunities for team collaboration—can have a significant impact over time.

Conclusion

The enduring appeal of John Adair’s Action-Centred Leadership Model lies in its simplicity. It reminds leaders that effective leadership comes down to balancing three fundamental responsibilities: achieving the task, building the team, and developing individuals.

However, finding the right balance does not mean giving equal attention to each area at all times. Leadership situations are constantly changing. A new project may require a stronger focus on achieving the task. A team facing challenges may need greater attention on trust and collaboration. An individual taking on new responsibilities may need more coaching and support.

The skill of effective leadership is recognising what the situation requires and adjusting accordingly.

Simple frameworks can be powerful because they give us a clear way to pause, reflect, and ask better questions. Adair’s model provides leaders with a practical lens to consider where they are having the greatest impact, and where small changes could make a meaningful difference.

Leadership development starts with awareness. Real improvement comes when that awareness leads to action.

Key Takeaways

  • Effective leadership is not measured by results alone. Great leaders balance achieving objectives with building strong teams and developing individuals.
  • John Adair’s Action-Centred Leadership Model provides a simple framework for understanding the three responsibilities every leader must manage: task, team, and individual.
  • The three areas are interconnected. Investing in people strengthens teams, stronger teams improve performance, and achieving meaningful goals creates opportunities for further growth.
  • The challenge for leaders is not giving equal attention to every area at all times, but finding the right balance for the situation they are facing.
  • Regular reflection helps leaders recognise where they are performing well and where small changes could improve their impact.
  • Leadership development starts with awareness but real improvement comes from turning reflection into action.

 

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