The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse at Work: Criticism and Defensiveness

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This post explores the patterns behind the two “Horsemen” criticism and defensiveness— and offers practical ways to break the cycle.

  • Reading time
  • 8 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Managers, team leaders and professionals who want to build more open, constructive and productive working relationships — particularly when conversations become difficult.

In our previous post, we introduced the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse — criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling — and looked at how these behaviours can undermine trust, communication and collaboration in the workplace. In this post, we’re going to take a closer look at the first two: criticism and defensiveness, and the relationship between them. We’ll explore why criticism and blame can so easily trigger defensiveness, and what we can do to break this pattern and have more constructive conversations at work.

Changing patterns of behaviour is about much more than finding the perfect words or following a set of communication rules. It starts with a shift in mindset — noticing our instinctive reactions and choosing a more constructive way to respond.

For criticism and defensiveness, that mindset shift can be summed up in two simple principles:

  • Criticism: Focus on the issue, not the person.
  • Defensiveness: Get curious before getting defensive.

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Why do we criticise?

Often, criticism comes from perfectly understandable instincts:

  • We want things to improve. We notice a problem and point it out because we believe doing so will help.
  • We have high standards. We see what could be better and feel responsible for making sure standards are maintained.
  • We want to prevent mistakes. After something goes wrong, identifying what someone did incorrectly can feel like a way of stopping it happening again.
  • We’re frustrated. When the same problem happens repeatedly, our patience wears thin and our language can become more personal.
  • We feel threatened or challenged. Someone else’s mistake, different approach or disagreement can make us question our own position, competence or authority.
  • We’re trying to make sense of what happened. When something goes wrong, finding someone or something to blame can give us a simple explanation, even when the reality is more complicated.
  • It’s become a habit. Some people are naturally more focused on problems and gaps. If pointing out what’s wrong has worked for them in the past, it can become their default response.

Criticism: when does the pattern emerge?

1. When someone feels criticised

Criticism often starts with something legitimate. Someone misses a deadline, makes a mistake, doesn’t follow through on an agreement or approaches a task differently from how we expected. Raising the issue is perfectly reasonable. Having the conversation is necessary.

You don’t need to be communicating badly for the other person to experience criticism. Criticism is much more subtle — your words can be experienced as criticism even when you believe they are simply addressing a problem.

Imagine saying to someone: “The report was due yesterday, and I still haven’t received it. We need to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

On the surface, this is a reasonable conversation about performance and expectations. But imagine that to someone who already feels under pressure, it sounds like critisism: They think I’m unreliable. They don’t trust me to do my job.

That is an important distinction. Criticism is not only about the words that are used; it is also about the judgement the other person feels is being made about them.

The pattern can emerge when a person begins to feel that individual mistakes or behaviours are being interpreted as evidence of a wider problem with who they are, their competence or their commitment. Once that happens, even legitimate feedback can feel personal — and the receiver may become more concerned with defending their reputation than addressing the original issue.

2. When criticism becomes part of the team dynamic

Criticism can also emerge as a pattern between team members. It may start with legitimate differences of opinion, frustration about how work is being done or repeated problems with a colleague. Raising concerns and challenging each other is perfectly reasonable. In fact, healthy teams need people who are willing to do this.

The pattern emerges when criticism becomes a regular part of how people interact. One person may frequently point out another’s mistakes, question their decisions or focus on what they could have done better. The comments may not always be unreasonable, and the person making them may genuinely believe they are helping the team improve.

But when someone is repeatedly on the receiving end, the dynamic can change. They may start to feel that their work is being scrutinised, that their colleague is looking for faults, or that whatever they do will be judged. They become more cautious, less willing to share ideas or admit mistakes — and may start anticipating criticism before it even happens.

This can create a cycle. The more criticised someone feels, the more defensive they may become. The more defensive they become, the more the other person may feel that they are unwilling to listen, take responsibility or improve. And that can lead to even more criticism.

Over time, what began as an attempt to address individual issues can become a relationship pattern. The conversation is no longer simply about what happened; the people involved have developed expectations about each other.

The mindset shift here is to recognise when challenge has become criticism. Healthy teams need people who question, challenge and give feedback. But when one person consistently becomes the focus of another person’s criticism, it is worth stepping back and asking: Are we actually addressing the issue, or are we simply following a pattern that has developed between us?

3. When criticism is a personal habit

There’s probably someone in every team who has developed a habit of spotting what’s wrong. The person who is quick to point out the flaw in an idea, the mistake in a report or what could have been done better. They may be the first to ask, “But what about…?” or to explain why something won’t work.

And sometimes, they are right. They may a good eye for detail or a genuine desire to help the team avoid mistakes. Their intention may be to improve things, not to criticise people.

The pattern emerges when pointing out what’s wrong becomes their default response. Whatever the situation, the focus tends to go to the problem, the omission or the mistake. Over time, colleagues may start to anticipate the criticism and become less willing to share ideas, take risks or speak up.

The person doing the criticising may not even realise that this pattern is impacting the team. From their perspective, they may simply be contributing, being honest or making sure standards are maintained. But if the first response to an idea is always to find the flaw, it can have an impact on how others experience working with them.

The mindset shift is to become aware of that instinct and create some space before responding. Do I need to point this out right now? What else is worth noticing? And will what I’m about to say help the person or the team move forward?

When does criticism become one of the Four Horsemen?

It’s worth making a distinction here. Criticism isn’t the same as raising a concern, giving feedback or pointing out something that needs to improve. Teams need people who are willing to do all of these things.

Criticism becomes problematic when a concern about a specific behaviour starts to become a negative judgement about the person. Instead of focusing on what happened, we start making assumptions about who they are, their character, their competence or their intentions.

This is what makes criticism one of Gottman’s Four Horsemen. The problem isn’t that we notice faults or disagree with someone’s actions. It’s when the message shifts from “There’s a problem with what happened” towards “There’s a problem with you.”

That shift can be obvious, as in “You’re unreliable,” but it can also be much more subtle. A person can feel judged even when no explicit personal criticism is made. Context, tone, history and the relationship between the people involved can all influence how a comment is experienced.

And once criticism enters the interaction, it can easily trigger another of the Horsemen: defensiveness. When people feel that their competence, intentions or character are being questioned, protecting themselves can become more important than addressing the original issue.

Defensiveness: when does the pattern emerge?

Defensiveness is often an understandable response. When we feel criticised, blamed, misunderstood or unfairly judged, our instinct may be to protect ourselves. We explain, justify, correct the facts, point out what someone else did wrong or try to prove that we are not responsible.

The problem in teams is not necessarily the first defensive reaction. We all have moments when we feel the need to explain ourselves. The pattern emerges when protecting ourselves becomes more important than understanding what the other person is trying to tell us.

1. When we feel criticised or blamed

Defensiveness can be triggered surprisingly easily, particularly when we hear something that threatens our sense of competence, professionalism, good intentions or sense of self.

Any explanation that you give in defense may be completely valid. But if the conversation continues with more explanations, justifications or about whose fault it was, he original issue can quickly get lost. This is where defensiveness can become unhelpful. Instead of hearing the feedback and considering what might be useful in it, we become focused on not taking the blame or proving that we are not at fault.

And the more we feel the need to defend ourselves, the less space there is to be curious about the other person’s perspective. The mindset is to pause before defending and ask yourself: “What can I understand from what they’re saying?”

2. When defensiveness is part of the team dynamic

Defensiveness can also become a pattern between people. If one colleague regularly feels criticised by another, they may begin to expect criticism and automatically prepare to defend themselves. A simple question can then feel like a challenge. A request for an explanation can feel like an accusation. Feedback can feel like an attack.

The other person may notice this and become frustrated: “I can’t say anything without them getting defensive.” They may then become more direct, provide more evidence or push their point harder. In response, the other person becomes even more defensive.

Over time, both people can become locked into their roles. One becomes the person who is always “raising the issue”, while the other becomes the person who is always “making excuses”. Each sees their own behaviour as a reasonable response to the other.

The mindset shift here is to recognise when you’re no longer responding to what is being said, but to what you expect the other person to say. Before reacting, ask: “What are they actually saying right now?”

3. When defensiveness is a personal habit

There’s probably someone in every team who finds it difficult to receive feedback. Whatever the issue, they have an explanation. If something goes wrong, there is a reason. If someone raises a concern, they can quickly explain why it isn’t really their responsibility. Again, the explanations may be perfectly legitimate. Sometimes we genuinely are being misunderstood or unfairly blamed.

But if the instinctive response is always to explain, justify or counter, it can become a habit. Other people may eventually stop offering feedback because they expect a defensive response, or they may feel they need to build an increasingly strong case before raising an issue.

The person themselves may not recognise the pattern. From their perspective, they may simply be making sure the facts are understood or defending themselves against unfair criticism.

The mindset shift is to create some space between hearing something we disagree with and responding to it. Try asking a question before offering an explanation: “Can you tell me more about what you mean?” or “What was the impact from your perspective?”

You don’t have to agree with everything you hear. Getting curious simply gives you the opportunity to understand before you defend.

When does defensiveness become one of the Four Horsemen?

It’s worth making the same distinction here. Defending yourself isn’t necessarily a problem. If you’re being unfairly blamed or misunderstood, explaining your perspective is perfectly reasonable. We all need to be able to clarify facts, correct misunderstandings and challenge unfair assumptions.

Defensiveness becomes problematic when protecting ourselves takes priority over engaging with the issue. Instead of listening to what the other person is saying, we immediately justify our actions, explain why it wasn’t our fault, shift responsibility elsewhere or point out what the other person has done wrong.

This is what makes defensiveness one of Gottman’s Four Horsemen. It’s not simply about disagreeing or standing up for yourself. It’s about responding to a perceived criticism in a way that closes down the possibility of taking anything from the conversation.

And, like criticism, defensiveness doesn’t always have to be obvious. It can be subtle: “Yes, but…”, “I only did that because…”, “Nobody told me,” or “Well, you did exactly the same thing.” Each response may contain some truth. The question is whether we’re using that truth to understand the situation or to protect ourselves from having to engage with the feedback.

There is also a strong connection between the two behaviours. Criticism can trigger defensiveness, and defensiveness can trigger more criticism. One person feels judged and starts defending themselves; the other experiences that defence as unwillingness to listen or take responsibility and pushes harder. Before long, both people are responding to each other rather than addressing the original issue.

The mindset shift is therefore not “I must never defend myself.” It is: “Can I stay curious long enough to understand what is being said before I decide how I need to respond?”

What can a manager do when they see criticism and defensiveness within their team?

When criticism and defensiveness become part of a team dynamic, it can be tempting for a manager to step in and decide who is right. But this rarely solves the underlying problem. The more useful role is to help people recognise the pattern, understand what is happening and find a more constructive way forward.

Name the pattern, not the person

If you notice the same interaction happening repeatedly, describe what you are seeing without assigning blame. For example: “I’ve noticed that when this issue comes up, one of you raises the concern and the other immediately starts explaining why it happened. Then the concern gets repeated more strongly, and the conversation goes around in circles.”

This makes the pattern visible without labelling either person as “the critic” or “the defensive one”.

Bring the conversation back to the issue

When people become caught up in criticism and defensiveness, the original problem can disappear. Help them return to the specific issue: What happened? What was the impact? What does each person see differently? What needs to happen next?

Keeping the conversation grounded in facts and future actions can make it easier to move away from personal judgements and self-protection.

Give both sides space to be heard

It’s important that the person raising the concern feels able to do so, while the person receiving it has an opportunity to explain their perspective. One shouldn’t automatically cancel out the other.

Ask: “What do you need the other person to understand?” And then ask: “What would you like them to understand about your perspective?”

The aim is to make sure both people understand what the other is experiencing.

Challenge the behaviour when necessary

Sometimes the manager needs to be more direct. If criticism becomes personal or dismissive, address it. If someone repeatedly refuses to engage with legitimate feedback, address that too.

The message can be simple: “It’s okay to challenge the feedback. It’s not okay to dismiss the person giving it.”

Or: “You can explain your perspective, but I also need you to consider the feedback rather than immediately explaining why it isn’t your responsibility.”

This reinforces an important distinction: being accountable and being blamed are not the same thing, and being challenged is not the same as being attacked.

Help people change the pattern

Finally, don’t expect one conversation to fix an established dynamic. If criticism and defensiveness have become habitual, people may need to practise responding differently.

Encourage small mindset shifts: focus on the issue rather than the person; get curious before becoming defensive; ask questions before making assumptions; and pause when emotions start to take over.

The manager’s role is to create a team where people can notice these patterns, interrupt them and get back to having the conversation that actually needs to happen.

Key takeaways

  • Criticism isn’t the same as feedback. Healthy teams need people who can raise concerns, challenge ideas and address problems. Criticism becomes problematic when the focus shifts from the behaviour to a judgement about the person.
  • Criticism can be experienced even when it isn’t intended. Context, tone, history and relationships all influence how feedback is received. A reasonable comment can still feel personal to someone who already feels under pressure or judged.
  • Criticism and defensiveness can create a cycle. One person feels criticised and becomes defensive; the other experiences that defensiveness as unwillingness to listen and pushes harder. Recognising the cycle is the first step towards breaking it.
  • Defensiveness is often a protective response. Explaining yourself or correcting a misunderstanding isn’t inherently defensive. The problem comes when protecting ourselves becomes more important than listening to what the other person is saying.
  • Patterns can become automatic. Criticism and defensiveness can develop into habits within individuals, relationships and teams. Once a pattern is established, people may start reacting to what they expect rather than to what is actually being said.
  • Curiosity creates space for a different response. Before defending yourself, try to understand the other person’s perspective. You don’t have to agree with the feedback to be curious about it.
  • Managers don’t need to decide who is right. When criticism and defensiveness become a team pattern, a manager can help people name the pattern, return to the issue and find a more constructive way forward.
  • The goal isn’t to eliminate disagreement. Successful teams need challenge, feedback and accountability. The goal is to make sure these don’t become personal — and that people can address difficult issues without damaging the relationships they depend on.
  • The mindset shift is simple, but not always easy: focus on the issue, not the person; and get curious before getting defensive.
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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse at Work: 4 Behaviours That Can Damage Relationships

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This post explores the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse — four behaviours that can quietly undermine teamwork — and shares practical tips for recognising them and turning difficult conversations into more constructive ones.

  • Reading time
  • 7 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Team leaders, managers and professionals who want to build healthier, more effective teams.

Beyond clear goals, good processes and effective leadership (among other things), the quality of the relationships within the team is fundamental to its health and success. Healthy teams are able to disagree, challenge ideas and have difficult conversations. When people feel able to speak openly, listen to different perspectives and address problems constructively, disagreements can lead to better decisions and stronger relationships. When those interactions become personal, defensive or dismissive, the same conversations can gradually erode trust and collaboration.

Of course, communicating well is relatively easy when things are going well. Most teams can share information, coordinate tasks and have constructive conversations when there’s little at stake. The real test comes when the conversation is difficult — when someone has made a mistake, expectations haven’t been met, opinions clash or emotions start to run high. It’s in these moments that the quality of our working relationships really shows.

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Psychologist and relationship researcher John Gottman identified four behaviours that can be particularly damaging to relationships: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling. He called them the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.”

Gottman developed this framework through research into intimate relationships rather than workplace teams, so we shouldn’t assume that his findings automatically apply to the world of work. However, the four behaviours themselves are surprisingly familiar in professional settings — and they offer a useful way of recognising patterns that can undermine trust, communication and teamwork.

This 2-minute video introduces them nicely.

So, what are the Four Horsemen — and what do they look like in a workplace?

The Four Horsemen are four patterns of behaviour that can gradually undermine relationships: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling.

They don’t necessarily appear in every difficult conversation, and seeing one of them occasionally doesn’t mean a team has a serious problem. The concern is when these behaviours become habitual responses to disagreement, frustration or conflict.

So, what do they look like in practice?

The Four Horsemen can show up in surprisingly ordinary workplace conversations. Often, they’re not dramatic. They can be as simple as the way we phrase a comment, respond to feedback or react when someone challenges our point of view.

Criticism turns a discussion about a problem into an attack on the person. Instead of addressing what happened, we focus on what’s supposedly wrong: “You never listen,” “You always make things more complicated,” or “You’re not taking this seriously.”

Defensiveness is what happens when we respond to a perceived criticism by protecting ourselves rather than engaging with the issue. We make excuses, shift the blame or explain why it wasn’t really our responsibility: “It wasn’t my fault,” “Nobody told me,” or “What about the three times you did the same thing?”

Contempt goes a step further. It communicates that we see ourselves as superior to the other person. Sarcasm, ridicule, eye-rolling, dismissive comments, etc.

Stonewalling is withdrawing from a conversation rather than engaging with it. In the workplace, this can mean going silent, avoiding a difficult discussion, refusing to respond to concerns, or simply disengaging when things become uncomfortable.

Why the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse matter in the workplace

We have all probably displayed these 4 toxic behaviours at some point. We’re human, and difficult conversations can bring out the worst in us, particularly when we’re under pressure, frustrated or feeling challenged.. And whether you want to call them “the 4 horsemen” or “the 4 team toxins”, these behaviours matter in the workplace – and in a very tangible way.

The problem isn’t an occasional moment of criticism, defensiveness, contempt or withdrawal. The real concern is when these behaviours become patterns — ways of responding to disagreement or difficult conversations that people come to expect from one another.

And those patterns matter.

When the quality of interpersonal relationships starts to deteriorate, communication usually suffers too. People become less willing to speak openly, share ideas or raise concerns. Collaboration becomes harder, misunderstandings increase and problems that could have been resolved quickly are left to grow.

Over time, this can affect much more than the atmosphere in the team. Tasks and projects can take longer, quality can suffer and productivity can decline. Motivation, commitment and team spirit can erode, while frustration and destructive conflict become more common.

At its worst, a team can reach a point where people no longer feel respected, heard or valued. Stress increases, good people disengage, and eventually some may decide that they’ve simply had enough.

If we want teams to perform at their best, we need to pay attention not just to what people are saying, but to how they communicate when things get challenging. The Four Horsemen give us a useful framework for recognising those patterns — and, importantly, for doing something about them.

What can managers do about the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse?

Identifying these behaviours is a useful first step. The next step is to learn to shift your mindset when necessary and respond differently.

1. Focus on the issue, not the person

When you’re frustrated, it’s easy to turn a specific problem into a judgement about someone’s character. Instead of thinking “Why are they always so defensive?”, try asking: “What exactly is the problem here, and what do we need to resolve?” This helps you move away from criticism and towards a conversation about facts, impact and solutions.

2. Get curious before getting defensive

When someone challenges you or gives you difficult feedback, your first instinct may be to explain, justify or defend yourself. Try pausing and asking: “What can I learn from what they’re saying?”

You don’t have to agree with everything you hear. Staying curious simply gives you a chance to understand the other person’s perspective before you respond.

3. Assume positive intent — but address negative impact

Not every difficult comment is meant badly. And even well-intentioned people can have a negative impact. Rather than judging someone’s motives, consider: “What might they have intended, and what was the impact?” This can help prevent conversations from becoming personal while still allowing you to address behaviour that needs to change.

4. Stay respectful when you disagree

Disagreement doesn’t have to mean disrespect. In fact, successful teams need people who are willing to challenge ideas and offer different perspectives. Try separating the idea from the person. You can strongly disagree with a proposal while still showing respect for the person who made it.

5. Don’t confuse taking a break with walking away

Sometimes a difficult conversation becomes too emotional or unproductive to continue. Taking some time out can be a healthy choice — provided you come back to the conversation. Instead of shutting down or avoiding the issue, try: “I think we need a bit of time to cool down. Can we come back to this at 3pm?” The mindset shift is from “I need to get out of this conversation” to “I need to pause so we can have a better conversation.”

6. Ask yourself what you are contributing

The Four Horsemen aren’t just something we need to spot in other people. We should also be willing to recognise them in ourselves. When a conversation starts going badly, ask yourself: “What am I doing right now that is helping — or making things worse?” That small pause can be enough to change the direction of a conversation.

7. Replace “winning” with “understanding”

Difficult workplace conversations can easily become about proving that we’re right, defending our position or getting the other person to admit they’re wrong.

A more productive question is: “What would a good outcome for both of us look like?” That doesn’t mean compromising on everything. It means approaching the conversation as a shared problem to solve rather than a competition about who’s right.

Key takeaways

  • Healthy teams don’t avoid difficult conversations. They create an environment where people can disagree, challenge ideas and raise concerns respectfully.
  • The Four Horsemen are behaviours, not labels. We can all become critical, defensive, dismissive or withdrawn when we’re under pressure. The important thing is to recognise the pattern and change our response.
  • Pay attention to patterns, not isolated incidents. An occasional difficult interaction is normal. It’s when unhelpful behaviours become habitual that they can start to damage trust and collaboration.
  • Focus on the issue, not the person. Address what happened, its impact and what needs to change rather than making it about someone’s character or intentions.
  • Stay curious when you feel challenged. You don’t have to agree with someone to listen, understand their perspective and consider what you might learn.
  • Disagreement and respect can coexist. Successful teams need different opinions. The goal isn’t to eliminate conflict, but to handle it constructively.
  • Take a pause when necessary — but don’t avoid the conversation. Stepping away can help people reset. The important thing is to return and engage.
  • Look at your own behaviour too. The Four Horsemen aren’t just something to spot in other people. Ask yourself what you are contributing to the conversation.
  • Aim for understanding, not winning. The best difficult conversations aren’t about proving who is right. They’re about finding a way forward that allows the team and the working relationship to succeed.
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When bulls collide – why senior managers need to master using influence instead of power

Over the past year we’ve been working on 3 leadership projects with plant managers across Europe and the US. These projects have involved coaching talented operational managers on the verge of promotion to a more strategic level. For many of these managers this is a surprisingly tough jump. They are now no longer the sole “go-to “decision maker for their teams. Now they need to get the buy-in of their superiors and peers as part of getting their job done. … they need to influence others.
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Moving from a telling to an asking approach when influencing

For managers with a telling or “push” influencing style, this transition creates a particular challenge as they need to move from a “telling” to an “asking” approach when influencing others. Those used to telling others what to do are generally used to quick decisions and immediate actions. Until now they have relied on their “power”… and have been relatively successful so far in their careers!  Their power can come from:

  • organizational authority (“I’m the plant manager” )
  • expert status (“I’ve got 15 years of experience in this area”)
  • information power (“I was involved in this from the very beginning “)
  • or just sheer charisma (“I know you’ll follow me”)

Indeed, quite often the manager is so used to exercising power that they don’t know the difference between power and influencing. Part of our role in the training is to help them see the tangible differences between “I want you to do X and you do it. How you feel about it is secondary.” (power) and  “ I know you’ll do what needs to be done because you want to do it and believe it is the right thing to do.”  (influencing).

When bulls collide and why influencing by power stops being effective

Imagine two bulls colliding and locking horns. When two push-style leaders try to share the same operational space, problems can come up. During training and coaching we’ve heard this expressed as “He doesn’t listen to me”, “She discounts my expertise” and “It’s his way or no way”.  When we’ve dug deeper and asked them how they have tried to influence the others, we often find they are solely relying on a directive or persuasive style of influencing (push styles) – as opposed to a collaborative or visionary style (pull styles).

Why different influencing styles matter

As part of our influencing training we work with clients to help them understand and use different influencing styles. No style is better or worse than another – each has its strengths and weaknesses, and each has its place.  However, as Dale Carnegie so visually described in How to win friends and influence people applying one style to every situation is like “fishing with strawberries” … in other words ineffective and ultimately pointless.  As the managers move to a more strategic role and need to deliver results in cooperation with other senior managers they need to develop different influencing styles. They need to sometimes “ask” and not just “tell” – to “pull” and not just “push”, and to let go of getting things done through their “power” alone. So what to do?

Stop “telling” and start “asking” – 5 practical steps to influence other senior managers

As Marshall Goldsmith coined “What got you here, won’t get you there”. Relying on power alone won’t deliver the commitment needed for individual and organizational success. Senior managers need to master influencing as they climb.

  • Acknowledging that the style and methods you are used to using aren’t working is a first big step. This may feel uncomfortable and sometime this can take far longer than you might expect!
  • Being willing to try something different is the second. A simple tip is to always present more than one good option. If you are trying to influence somebody who is also a directive “push” influencer, keep in mind that (like you) they really dislike being boxed in with only one alternative. One alternative feels like an order. If you hear yourself saying “We have to…” or “Our only real option is…” it means you are probably still relying on your power.
  • Put yourself in their shoes and try to find out what is important to your counterpart and include it in your reasoning. Let the other person know that you are trying to use their frame of reference. If you don’t know their interests and what they value, it is important to find out. Let him know that his success matters to you too. This blog post offers questions to consider as you try to understand your counterpart.
  • Know what you can control, can influence and need to accept [https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/control-influence-accept.htm]. Expand your influencing zone by developing more influencing tools.
  • And then consider what you are going to say and how you will say it. This blog post on Linking and building to successfully influence others is worth your time.

If you would like to know more about how we have successfully provided influencing training in face-to-face and virtual delivery formats across Europe and beyond then don’t hesitate to contact us.

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The learning and development journey of a new manager

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This post explores the learning journey every new manager experiences through the Conscious Competence Model, explaining why the first year of management can feel challenging and how managers can develop the skills, confidence and mindset needed to succeed.

  • Reading time
  • 8 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • New managers, aspiring managers, and organisations supporting first-time managers through leadership development.

 

One day you are a trusted colleague. The next, you are responsible for leading the team, making decisions, managing individuals, and delivering results. Congratulations on your promotion to manager!

Now for the reality check. The first year of being a manager often brings the steepest learning curve of your career. You soon discover that delegating isn’t as straightforward as it seems. Giving feedback doesn’t automatically lead to better performance or greater understanding.  Building trust, handling conflict and balancing the needs of individuals with the demands of the business all take practice.

One thing we regularly see in our management development programmes is that new managers are surprised and often relieved to discover that their fellow new managers are all experiencing the same learning curve.

Here’s the learning curve explained in short:

  • At first, you rely on the skills and habits that made you successful before, without realising that managing people requires something different.
  • Then you start to see the gaps. You become aware of situations where your current approach isn’t working and realise there is more to learn.
  • With practice, new skills develop. You learn techniques, try new approaches and become more confident—but you still need to think consciously about how you apply them.
  • Eventually, good management becomes more natural. The skills and behaviours become part of how you work, allowing you to focus less on the process and more on the people and situation in front of you.

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The Conscious Competence model

This journey was described by Noel Burch in the 1970s through the Conscious Competence model. The model can be universally applied as a model for learning. Although the model is more than 50 years old, it remains one of the simplest ways to understand how people develop new skills.

 

 

Stage 1 – Unconscious Incompetence: You don’t know what you don’t know

When you first become a manager, you are often unaware of the skills, behaviours and mindset shifts that the role requires. And why would you be? You have never needed them before.

At this stage, you may not even realise which skills you need to develop. You simply approach management in the same way you approached your previous role—by working hard, being a team player, solving problems and using the approaches that made you successful before.

Stage 2 – Conscious Incompetence: You know what you don’t know

Suddenly, you start to see the gaps. You realise that being a good manager involves much more than being good at your previous role. This awareness can be uncomfortable. You even question yourself: “Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”

This feeling is often a sign of progress, and an important turning point. You are no longer unaware of what management requires—you are now aware of what you need to learn.

Stage 3 – Conscious Competence: You know what you know

You have developed new skills and learned appraches that help you lead more effectively. You now know what it takes to delegate effectively, and how to give meaningul feedback. But, using these new skills still requires concsious effort. You know what good management looks like, but it does not always happen automatically yet.

At this stage, your ability to be flexible and proactive in unexpected situations is limited – but you can do it. The task-oriented aspects of managing are becoming fine-tuned but it is still learning by doing, trial and error, or copying managerial role models. You are testing your limits.

This stage is about practice. Every conversation, decision and experience helps you build confidence. Over time, the skills that once required careful thought begin to feel more natural.

Stage 4 – Unconscious Competence: You know it without having to think about it

You no longer have to consciously think through every conversation, decision or interaction. You have developed the experience and judgement to respond naturally to different situations. You know when to provide direction, when to give someone space and when to step in and support.

Delegating, giving feedback, developing people and building trust become less about following a process and more about understanding the person and the situation in front of you.

How to manage yourself through the learning curve

Understanding the learning journey is helpful, but knowing how to navigate it is more useful. As you develop as a manager, there are a few things that can make the process easier.

  • Accept that discomfort is part of learning – The moments when you feel least confident are often the moments when you are learning the most. Becoming aware of what you don’t know is a necessary step towards improvement.
  • Don’t mistake uncertainty and inexperience for failure – They are signs that you are learning, developing and becoming a better manager.
  • Ask for feedback and be open to hearing it – You cannot always see your own blind spots. Ask your team for feedback. The goal is not to find out whether you are a “good” or “bad” manager, but to understand what is working and what you can improve.
  • Take time to reflect – Management gives you a constant supply of learning opportunities. A difficult conversation, a team conflict or a decision that didn’t go as planned can all teach you something. Ask yourself  * What went well? * What could I have done differently?  * What will I try next time?

Key takeaways for new managers

Becoming an effective manager is a journey, not an overnight transformation. A promotion gives you the responsibility of managing people, but it does not automatically give you all the skills and confidence you need.

Keep these things in mind:

  • You are not expected to know everything immediately. Management is a new skill set, and every manager has to learn it.
  • Feeling uncertain is part of the process. The moment you recognise what you need to improve is not a sign of failure—it is the beginning of development.
  • Your previous success is still valuable, but the way you succeed has changed. The skills that made you a great individual contributor provide a foundation, but managing others requires new approaches.
  • Confidence comes from experience. It grows through practice, reflection, feedback and trying again.
  • There is no shortcut to becoming a great manager. The best managers continue to learn, adapt and develop throughout their careers.

 

FOR MORE INFORMATION

Read more about the model (this article suggests a fifth stage and has a matrix to clarify the four stages). And finally, a few blog posts you might be interested in:

 

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Managing high performers – the Miles Davis way

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What does Miles Davis have to do with managing high performers in business? Good question. Miles Davis is rightfully acclaimed as an icon of jazz, but he didn’t make music alone.  Throughout his career as a bandleader, Miles worked with other iconic figures of jazz to create music that stands even today as among the highest forms of the genre. John Coltrane, Herbbie Hancock, Wayne Shorter, “Philly” Joe Jones, Keith Jarrett, Ron Carter, Tony Williams and many others among the giants of jazz graduated from “Miles University”. Miles Davis, time and time again, brought together some of the most talented musicians in their own right to work with him in his musical exploration. How did he do it? This article will explore the lessons of Miles Davis in the art of leading the best to be their best. eBook: The definitive checklist for qualifying training providers

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Lesson 1: Be excellent, publicly

Miles Davis was able, on many occasions, to put together bands of some of the most talented musicians of their time throughout his career. Miles’ reputation clearly preceded him. Receiving a call from Miles was seen as having achieved a high level of musicianship. But that wasn’t the only reason so many musicians with promising solo careers agreed to support Miles. They believed they would learn something based on Miles’ excellence as a musician and band leader. Miles greatness was easy to see through his performances, compositions and recordings.

How easy is it for high performers to recognize your excellence? There is a tendency among many leaders not to “toot their own horns” about their own performance and accomplishments. While a leader may not need to sing his own praises, it is important that someone does it for him. A leader’s excellence will attract others who want to achieve the same level of competence, while increasing the leader’s  credibility and ability to guide, mentor and teach.

Lesson 2: Don’t hire a trumpet player

Miles’ great combos included players with different styles and tendencies. He hired players who would complement his playing and each other’s. He didn’t need anyone who sounded like him because he had that covered.

In business, it can be difficult to avoid the temptation to hire people who mirror our backgrounds, experiences, styles and tendencies. After all those competencies served us well in our careers. It is important to remember as a leader that our success is a reflection of the past while we are hiring for the future.  The pace of change doesn’t only require different technological skills it also requires new communication and leadership skills from those current leaders needed at earlier stages of their careers. Hiring teams with complementary but different skills and areas of expertise broadens the set of problems they can solve and increases their impact on the organization.

“It’s not about standing still and becoming safe. If anybody wants to keep creating they have to be about change.”
Miles Davis

Lesson 3: Play together and produce excellence

Miles’ bands grew into cohesive units through performances, not rehearsals. Each performance created a wealth of learning opportunities for Miles and his band mates. The urgency of the moment created a focus and intensity that would be very difficult if not impossible to reproduce in a rehearsal. By focusing on playing together and learning from the experience, Miles could correct on the spot, encourage and support his band to take risks, push themselves and reach new heights of excellence.

How often do you perform with your high performers? Finding opportunities to produce excellence together will give you more chances to learn from each other.

Lesson 4: Don’t tell them what to do, tell them what not to do

Related to lesson three, play together and produce excellence, is the style of debriefing and guidance Miles offered to his band mates following their performances.  Miles didn’t put a group together hearing the music he hoped they would produce in his mind, then correcting them to come as close as possible to his vision. Miles believed in an experimental approach to developing new music. When reflecting about what took place in performances, Miles would say what his band mates shouldn’t do but he wouldn’t tell them what to do. He hired them for their expertise on their individual instruments. He wanted them to bring their ideas to the table so they could take ownership of their performances and the product of the group.

The high performers in your organization reached a level of success before becoming members of your team. When managing high performers, take advantage of their creativity and input by channelling, not directing their contributions to the organization.

“If you don’t know what to play, play nothing.”
Miles Davis

Lesson 5: Listen to save the day

Deep listening is the art of hearing not only what is said but also what isn’t said. On stage, Miles had the opportunity to lay out and listen to what his band mates were playing.  There were times when while reaching for new forms of expression, the band lost its way. By listening to what wasn’t there, Miles could enter the fray at the right moment with the phrase that would bring the other players back together again, finding a groove that was satisfying to the musicians and the audience.

Look for your opportunities, especially in conflict, to find what isn’t being said and remind the participants in the argument that they are on the same team. Listen for agreement that the parties may be missing, summarize, and encourage them to listen deeply to each other when emotions run high. “What I am hearing is…” is a great way to interject.

“I’m always thinking about creating. My future starts when I wake up every morning… Every day I find something creative to do with my life.”
Miles Davis

Lesson 6: Talk about life, not music

With our busy lives it may be tempting to leave work at work and leave life at home.  We can get through our workdays without sharing with others the experiences that shaped us outside of the work environment. Miles believed knowing the personal histories of his band mates was crucial to being able to know them musically. He invested time in learning about the backgrounds of his band mates and he shared his own. This sharing created an environment of trust that helped his musicians to work with each other more closely.

Be willing to be more open when you are managing high performers as it can lead to more effective, trusting relationships. A deeper bond of respect can increase loyalty to you, and commitment to your organization and its goals.

FOR MORE INFORMATION

On leadership: Here are a  few blog posts on the topic.  If you are interested to learn more about our leadership skills seminars, please contact us, or take a look at the very popular seminar “A practical toolbox for managers”.

 

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Understanding Motivation: Three Leadership Lessons from TED Talks

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This post explores three TED Talks that offer different perspectives on motivation and leadership. By looking at what makes work meaningful, how everyday actions shape leadership, and how mindset influences performance, it provides practical insights for managers who want to better understand what drives people and create the conditions for motivation to thrive.

  • Reading time
  • 7 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Managers and leaders who want to better understand what motivates people, create more engaging work environments, and influence others more effectively.

Motivation is something that affects everyone in the workplace. At different times, we all experience moments when we feel energised, committed and connected to what we do—and moments when that motivation becomes harder to sustain.

Our motivation can be influenced by many external factors within the workplace. Poor communication, lack of recognition, unclear expectations, excessive control and limited opportunities to contribute can gradually reduce people’s engagement and commitment. Even highly capable and motivated individuals can become disengaged when they feel undervalued, disconnected or unable to influence their work.

So, what helps people stay motivated and engaged at work? While there is no single answer, motivation is often influenced by whether people feel that their work has meaning, that their contribution is valued, that they have a positive impact on others and that they are able to grow and succeed. Understanding what gives people a sense of value—both in the work they do and in the way they are treated—is a key part of understanding motivation.

The following TED Talks explore three different perspectives on motivation and leadership, offering insights into what drives people and how leaders can create environments where motivation can thrive. Together, they highlight some important questions that influence motivation: Do people feel that their work matters? Do they feel that they matter to others? And do they have the mindset and environment needed to perform at their best?

The videos in this post cover three questions related to motivation and leadership:

  • What makes work meaningful?
  • What does everyday leadership look like?
  • How does happiness influence performance?

 

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What makes work meaningful?

Leadership lesson from Dan Ariely

We often assume motivation comes from rewards, recognition or incentives. Dan Ariely’s research explores a deeper question: what makes people feel that their work is worthwhile?

 

 “…If you read books of people who climb mountains, difficult mountains, do you think that those books are full of moments of joy and happiness? No, they are full of misery. In fact, it’s all about frostbite and having difficulty walking, and difficulty breathing — cold, challenging circumstances. And if people were just trying to be happy, the moment they would get to the top, they would say, ‘This was a terrible mistake. I’ll never do it again’…”

Dan Ariely

What is the key idea?
People are motivated by more than just external rewards. We are more engaged when we feel that our work has meaning, that our efforts are recognised and that what we do matters.

Why does it matter for managers?
Managers often focus on outcomes, deadlines and rewards, but motivation is also shaped by whether people can see the value of their contribution. When people understand the impact of their work, they are more likely to feel connected and committed.

What can managers do differently?

  • Help people see the bigger purpose behind their work.
  • Connect everyday tasks to the impact they create.
  • Recognise effort, progress and contribution—not just final results.
  • Avoid treating people as if they are simply completing tasks.

What does everyday leadership look like?

Leadership lesson from Drew Dudley

Leadership is often associated with big decisions, formal authority and visible achievements. Drew Dudley challenges this idea by exploring the everyday moments where leadership happens.

 

“…I’ve come to realize that we have made leadership into something bigger than us; something beyond us. We’ve made it about changing the world. We’ve taken this title of “leader” and treat it as something that one day we’re going to deserve. But to give it to ourselves right now means a level of arrogance or cockiness that we’re not comfortable with. And I worry sometimes that we spend so much time celebrating amazing things that hardly anybody can do, that we’ve convinced ourselves those are the only things worth celebrating. We start to devalue the things we can do every day. We take moments where we truly are a leader and we don’t let ourselves take credit for it, or feel good about it.”

Drew Dudley

What is the key idea?

Leadership is not limited to formal roles, titles or major achievements. Small everyday actions can have a significant impact on other people.

Why does it matter for managers?

Managers sometimes underestimate the influence they have through everyday interactions. A conversation, a word of encouragement or an act of recognition can shape how someone feels about themselves and their work.

What can managers do differently?

  • Pay attention to the small moments that influence others.
  • Recognise the positive impact people have on those around them.
  • Remember that leadership happens through behaviour, not just authority.
  • Consider how people feel after interacting with you.

How does happiness influence performance?

Leadership lesson from Shawn Achor

Happiness is sometimes viewed as a result of success. Shawn Achor explores the opposite idea: that our mindset and wellbeing can influence our ability to succeed.

“… One of the first things we teach people in economics, statistics, business and psychology courses is how, in a statistically valid way, do we eliminate the weirdos. How do we eliminate the outliers so we can find the line of best fit? Which is fantastic if I’m trying to find out how many Advil the average person should be taking — two. But if I’m interested in your potential, or happiness or productivity or energy or creativity, we’re creating the cult of the average with science. If I asked a question like, “How fast can a child learn how to read in a classroom?” scientists change the answer to “How fast does the average child learn how to read in that classroom?” and we tailor the class towards the average. If you fall below the average, then psychologists get thrilled, because that means you’re depressed or have a disorder, or hopefully both.”

What is the key idea?

Our mindset influences how we experience challenges, solve problems and perform. Success does not automatically create happiness; rather, a positive mindset can influence our energy, creativity and ability to achieve success.

Why does it matter for managers?

Managers have a significant influence on the emotional environment of their teams. The way leaders communicate, respond to challenges and recognise progress affects motivation and engagement.

What can managers do differently?

  • Create an environment where people feel supported and valued.
  • Focus attention on progress and possibilities, not only problems.
  • Recognise achievements and celebrate success.
  • Be aware of the energy and attitude you bring to conversations.

Final thoughts: Motivation is created through everyday experiences

Motivation is not something leaders can simply give to people. It is influenced by the everyday experiences people have at work: whether they see meaning in what they do, whether they feel valued by others and whether they have the mindset and support needed to perform at their best.

The lessons from these TED Talks remind us that motivation is not only about rewards and incentives. It is about creating an environment where people feel their work matters, their contribution is recognised and their potential is supported.

For managers, the challenge is not to find one perfect way to motivate people. It is to understand what helps people engage, contribute and thrive—and then create more of those conditions every day.

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Leading through change: A guide for managers

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This post explores how managers can lead through change by understanding how people experience change, communicating effectively, building trust, and supporting their teams as they adapt.

  • Reading time
  • 10 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Managers, team leaders, and anyone responsible for helping people navigate change, maintain engagement, and deliver results during periods of uncertainty or transition.

Change has become a constant part of working life. Whether it is a new strategy, a change in structure, new technology, evolving customer expectations, or different ways of working, teams are regularly asked to adapt.

People experience change differently. Some may see change as opportunity and embrace new possibilities, while others may feel uncertain or concerned about what the change means for them. For managers, the biggest challenge is helping people understand what is happening, navigate uncertainty, and stay engaged throughout the transition. Their role is not to remove every difficulty, but to provide clarity, support, and direction when people need it most.

Successful change happens when people feel informed, involved, and supported. In this article, we explore practical ways managers can help their teams adapt, build confidence, and move forward during times of change.

 

“Change has a bad reputation in our society. But it isn’t all bad – not by any means. In fact, change is necessary in life – to keep us moving … to keep us growing … to keep us interested … Imagine life without change. It would be static … boring … dull.”

Dr. Dennis O’Grady

 

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Changing how people feel about change

When organisations introduce change, managers often focus on what needs to happen: new processes, new systems, new behaviours, or new ways of working. But successful change depends just as much on how people feel about it.

People do not usually resist change itself. They often resist uncertainty, a lack of control, or not understanding why the change is happening. A change that seems logical from a business perspective can still feel challenging from an individual perspective.

Managers play an important role in helping people move from uncertainty to confidence. This does not mean convincing everyone that change is easy or ignoring legitimate concerns. It means creating the conditions where people feel informed, supported, and able to adapt.

Understanding how people experience change: the Satir Change Model

People rarely move through change in a straight line or at the same speed. Some team members may embrace change quickly, while others may need more time and support.The Satir Change Model helps explain the emotional journey people often experience when facing something new. The model describes five stages:

Late status quo

Before change happens, people are familiar with the current way of working. Even if things are not perfect, there is a sense of stability and predictability.

Resistance

When change is introduced, people often experience uncertainty. They may question the reasons for the change, worry about the impact on them, or feel frustrated about leaving familiar ways of working behind. This is not necessarily negativity—it is often a natural response to uncertainty.

Chaos

As people let go of old ways and learn new ones, there can be a period of confusion and reduced confidence. Mistakes may happen, productivity may dip, and people may need additional support.

Integration

Gradually, people begin to understand the new reality. They develop new skills, find new ways of working, and start to see the benefits of the change.

New status quo

Eventually, the change becomes the new normal. People regain confidence, performance improves, and the new behaviours or processes become established.

 

“Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.”

James Belasco and Ralph Stayer

Change happens through people

One of the biggest mistakes organisations make during change is viewing people as a barrier to progress. When employees question decisions, raise concerns, or struggle to adapt, it can be tempting to label them as “resistant to change.”

But people are not obstacles to overcome. People are the reason why the change will be successful (or not).

Concerns, questions, and different perspectives are often valuable sources of information. They can highlight practical challenges, identify risks, and reveal where more clarity and support are needed. A team member who asks difficult questions may not be blocking change—they may be helping the organisation understand what is needed to make it work.

The role of a manager is not to eliminate all uncertainty or convince everyone to feel positive about the change. It is to create an environment where people feel heard, supported, and involved.

This means:

  • listening to concerns before responding
  • asking for input where people can genuinely influence the outcome
  • explaining decisions and the reasons behind them
  • recognising that different people will adapt at different speeds

When people push back against change, the easiest response is often to see it as a problem. But resistance is usually a signal that something needs attention.

A concern may indicate that someone:

  • does not understand the reason for the change
  • feels they have not been listened to
  • is worried about their ability to succeed
  • has experienced poorly managed change in the past
  • needs more information, time, or support

The best managers do not ask, “How do I overcome resistance?” They ask, “What is this resistance/concern telling me, and what support do people need to move forward?”

How to communicate change effectively

Effective communication is one of the biggest factors influencing how people experience change. When information is limited, people naturally fill the gaps themselves—and those assumptions are not always helpful. During change, managers do not need to have every answer, but they do need to create clarity. People want to understand what is happening, why it is happening, and what it means for them.

Communicating change successfully doesn’t automatically mean that you’ll achieve change successfully, because ultimately, the organizational capacity for change relies heavily on the individual’s capacity for change. In other words, some people will reach the New Status Quo much faster than others, others not at all. Some will have few problems, others a lot. But there’s no doubt about it, you need a communication plan/strategy to accompany the change.

Effective change communication starts with four key questions:

Why is this change happening?

People are more likely to support change when they understand the reason behind it. Explain the purpose, the challenges being addressed, and the benefits the change is intended to create.

What will change, and what will stay the same?

Uncertainty often comes from not knowing what the future looks like. Be clear about what will be different, including any changes to processes, responsibilities, behaviours, or ways of working. Avoid focusing only on the solution. Help people understand the journey from where they are now to where they need to be.

How will this affect people?

Everyone affected by change will naturally ask: “How will this impact me?” Managers should consider what individuals need to know about their role, expectations, skills, priorities, and day-to-day work. Avoid communicating only from the organisation’s perspective.

Consider the questions employees will have:

  • How will this impact my role?
  • What will I need to learn?
  • What support will I receive?
  • What is expected of me?

How can people share their thoughts and concerns?

Communication during change should be a conversation, not just an announcement. Create opportunities for people to ask questions, share concerns, and provide feedback. Listening does not mean every request can be acted upon, but it shows people that their experience matters.

A few tips for managers:

  • Communicate early, even when some details are still developing.
  • Repeat key messages—people rarely absorb important information the first time.
  • Be honest when you don’t know something and commit to finding out.
  • Avoid overly positive messages that ignore genuine challenges.
  • Adapt your communication to the needs of different individuals and teams.

During change (uncertainty), people often judge the message by the messenger. Managers who communicate openly, consistently, and with empathy help create the trust people need to move forward.

Are we there yet? – The importance of measuring progress and highlighting success

When people are asked to change, one of the questions they naturally ask is: How will I know this is working?”

Without clear signs of progress, change can feel endless. People may put in significant effort without knowing whether they are moving in the right direction, whether the change is having an impact, or whether their contribution is making a difference.

Understanding what success looks like helps people connect their daily actions with the bigger goal. They need to know:

  • What outcomes are we working towards?
  • How will we measure progress?
  • What will be different when the change is successful?
  • How will we know that the effort has been worthwhile?

Clear measures provide direction and confidence. They help people understand what is expected, recognise improvements, and see how their role contributes to the overall success of the change.

It is also important to recognise that success is not only about reaching the final destination. During change, progress often happens through small steps: learning new skills, adopting new behaviours, solving problems, and finding better ways of working.

When managers highlight these moments, they help people see that progress is happening. Celebrating milestones, sharing success stories, and recognising individual contributions all build confidence and motivation.

Summary

Leading through change is about helping people navigate uncertainty, understand the reason behind the change, and feel supported as they adapt. As a manager, you don’t need to have all the answers or convince people that the change will be good and easy to achieve.

Successful change happens when managers recognise the human side of change. People need clarity, communication, involvement, and evidence that their efforts are making a difference. They need to feel that they are part of the change, not as someone who the change is happening to.

The most effective managers understand that change is a journey. Different people will move through that journey at different speeds, and each person may need different levels of support. By building trust, listening to concerns, communicating openly, and recognising progress, managers can help their teams move from uncertainty towards confidence and commitment.

Key takeaways

  • Change is personal. People respond to change differently based on their experiences, concerns, and perception of what they may gain or lose. Understanding where people are in the change process helps managers respond more effectively. Someone in the resistance stage may need clarity and reassurance, while someone in the chaos stage may need coaching and practical support.
  • Resistance is often a signal, not a problem. Questions and concerns can reveal where people need more information, involvement, or support.
  • Communication creates clarity. People need to understand why the change is happening, what it means for them, and how success will be measured.
  • People support what they help create. Involving employees where possible builds ownership, trust, and commitment.
  • Managers set the tone during change. The way leaders communicate, behave, and respond to uncertainty has a significant impact on how people experience change.
  • Progress needs to be visible. Recognising small wins, celebrating milestones, and highlighting success helps people see that their efforts are making a difference.
  • The goal is not to rush people through change. The goal is to provide the support, clarity, and confidence people need to successfully navigate it.
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Giving feedback using the DESC model

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Everybody understands that performance feedback should be constructive, focused and to the point. Effective feedback can resolve conflicts, overcome problems and improve individual and team morale. It doesn’t really need mentioning that ineffective feedback often accomplishes the opposite. Or that if you are skilled at giving effective feedback, your team will be more motivated, which leads to better performance.




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“While feedback should focus on behaviour, performance feedback is still a personal conversation between people about people. Emotions always play a part in interpersonal communication. Effective feedback is as much about bringing the right message(s) across as it is about how your message is interpreted.”

Scott Levey

Some feedback facts*

  • 98% of employees will fail to be engaged when managers give little or no feedback
  • 69% of employees say they would work harder if they felt their efforts were better recognized
  • 78% of employees said being recognized motivates them in their job

*(source)

Giving positive feedback is easy

No matter how skilled the feedback giver is, if the receiver isn’t interested in hearing or taking the feedback, nothing will get through. The more difficult the feedback, the more the giver needs to consider the the emotional impact of the feedback. Giving positive feedback is easy.

What is and isn’t feedback?

In an interpersonal environment, feedback is communication about a person’s performance and how their efforts contribute to reaching goals. Feedback is not criticism. Criticism is evaluative; feedback is descriptive. Effective feedback is goal-referenced and tangible, actionable, personalized, timely, ongoing and consistent. As a leader, giving feedback is a task you perform again and again, to let people know where they are and where to go next in terms of individual, team, and company goals.

Giving feedback is a touchy thing. Think back over feedback you have received in the past. Chances are you’ve been given feedback that helped you develop. And, unfortunately, chances are somewhere in your career you’ve been given feedback that made you feel defensive, resistant or unmotivated. By putting yourself back in your old shoes, and thinking about how they actually gave you the feedback, you can improve your own feedback skills.

Common mistakes people make when giving feedback

  1. Avoiding giving feedback
  2. Focusing on the person and not the performance
  3. Giving feedback on what is going wrong, and never on what is going right
  4. Coming  across as judgmental
  5. Doing all the talking, and none of the listening
  6. Giving the feedback without any context
  7. Making generalized, vague statements
  8. Avoiding responsibility for what they are saying by referring to others
  9. Getting defensive if they don’t understand you, or you don’t understand them

“We can’t let our own success, education and advancement ride on whether the person giving us feedback happens to be talented or caring. We have to learn to learn from everyone around us, including people who are lousy at giving feedback, or who don’t have the time to do it thoughtfully. Our individual success depends on it, and so does the collective success of the organization.“

The DESC model

In our skills-based Leadership training, we use the simple 4-step model DESC for structuring feedback. Participants in our “Practical Toolbox for Managers” seminars often highlight DESC as one of the most valuable tools they take away. This model is designed to help you to get your message clear and it can even take the stress out of the feedback conversation for those of us that weren’t born with effective feedback-giving skills.

DESCRIPTION

Give an objective and concrete description of what you have observed using “I” statements.

EFFECT

Explain the effect or impact it had on your business, the team or its members. If the effect was an emotion, name it. Your body language and tone of voice will already be showing your elation or frustration – putting them out in the open can help you move things forward.

SOLUTION

Build the solution through a directive (“What I would like you to do next time is …”) or a participative approach (“What do you think we can do to avoid this next time?”).

CONCLUSION

Build a “contract of commitment”. Check your understanding of what has been agreed, and get commitment for the future.

Further Leadership resources:

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Powerful Communication – The Power of the Purpose Pyramid

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listening skills target trainingThe purpose pyramid is one of the simplest and yet effective communication models for introducing a presentation, opening a meeting or organizing your thoughts that there is. It is so simple, in fact, that no one seems to take credit for it though you will find it in the work of many communications gurus. The four questions in the pyramid aren’t special by themselves, but together they offer a powerful way to connect what you want to do with the goals and needs of your organization, no matter what business you are in or function you perform. Why? + What? + How? + Who? = Alignment. The Purpose Pyramid makes it easy for you to structure your communication – in any situation.

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pyramid

Why?

Why is where you share or remind your team about the deeper meaning and purpose of the organization. This is the reason that energizes you and your colleagues as well as your customers. What’s your why? Your purpose is best when it brings the energy of your team together and they can all see themselves in it. It should also attract internal and external customers to your work.

A band plays music, by definition – but wouldn’t you rather see a band whose purpose is to give you high energy and a memorable musical experience?

At a more nuts and bolts level, you can also apply the why to day-to-day interactions and situations. An example could be to state the purpose (why) of a meeting on the agenda for everyone to see. If there is a question about being on track, the team can refer to the mutually agreed purpose of the team.

What?

What refers to the tasks you and your team need to get done to contribute to making your purpose a reality. At their best these tasks are things you can track and observe easily so all can know when it is accomplished. For example, to have better meetings is not a clear task. Having everyone contribute to the meeting is a clear task. The SMART principle is a great model to use, just remember they should in some way contribute to achieving your purpose.

An example could be to make task identification a two-step process. Instead of automatically identifying who should complete a task at the same time as identifying the task, outline just the tasks first. Going through the how before identifying who will help team members to know what they are committing to.

How?

How is where you turn to your method, approach or process, How will you get your tasks accomplished? For example, sticking with the “better meetings” example, if my task is to have everyone contribute to a meeting, I could tell the team members I expect them to contribute and hope for the best or I could use a polling technique in the meeting to give each attendee the space to speak uninterrupted.

If a task is complex, the “how” could be a process or procedure that helps to complete the task effectively and efficiently. If you have standard operating procedures in place, this is the time to stress their use.

An example could be to identify the resources and process necessary to complete a task before asking who will do it. Leaders get a chance to offer support to the team and may encourage team members to accept a stretch task because they know how they will be supported.

Who?

Who refers to the individual and collective commitments or expectations that match your team to the tasks at hand. In most meetings the who stage tells how well we’ve done the other stages. If team members recognize and connect with their purpose, the necessity of a task and the process and resources to get it done, it’s a lot easier to agree to do them. With the clarity you’ve built earlier, it is easier for you to ask for what you want while committing to do what is necessary to support your team. A great question at the end of a meeting is “what have we agreed to do?” to check agreements without sounding like a task master.

Browse our blog for more tips and tricks

And/or let me know of any other useful communication tools that always work for you. I look forward to hearing from you!

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Practical tools for understanding team dynamics and building high-performing teams

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This post explores three practical tools — Belbin, MBTI and Insights Discovery — and how they can help leaders understand team dynamics, identify strengths and challenges, and create better conversations about how their teams work together.

  • Reading time
  • 8 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Team leaders, managers and HR/L&D professionals who want to better understand their teams and create the conditions for stronger collaboration and performance.

 

Here’s a question we sometimes put in front of our training participants: What do you get when you put capable individuals in a group and give them a common goal? The answer isn’t necessarily ‘a capable team’. Individual capability does not automatically translate into team success. A team’s performance depends on how well its members work together — how they communicate, make decisions, handle differences, build trust and hold each other accountable. The main challenge for many teams is to create the conditions that allow individual capability to become collective performance.

Fortunately, there are a range of practical tools that give teams different ways to explore dynamics, identify strengths and potential challenges, and create a shared language for talking about team performance.

 

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Belbin Team Inventory

Belbin Team Roles gives teams a useful way to explore how different people contribute to a team. Rather than focusing simply on individual strengths, it looks at the different roles and contributions a team needs to work effectively. It can help teams identify where they have strengths, where there may be gaps, and how different ways of contributing can complement each other.

Belbin team roles can be very useful in a team-development context, but it works best when treated as a conversation starter rather than a diagnosis of team members. Its biggest practical value is that it gives a team a shared language for talking about how people contribute. It’s based around nine team roles — patterns of contribution such as Coordinator, Shaper, Plant, Implementer, Completer Finisher, Teamworker, Resource Investigator, Monitor Evaluator, and Specialist.

For example, a team might discover that:

  • several people naturally generate ideas, but nobody enjoys turning them into action;
  • important details regularly fall through the cracks;
  • everyone wants to lead, creating unnecessary friction;
  • some contributions are undervalued because they are less visible.

Those are useful conversations. The value isn’t necessarily whether someone is really a “Shaper” or a “Plant”; it’s that the framework can help people step back from their usual roles and ask “What does this team need, and what are we currently missing?” It’s also useful because it shifts the conversation away from simply asking “Who is good at what?” and toward “What does the team need from its members at different points in its work?”

Belbin is not, however, a blueprint for building a successful team. People are not fixed into a single role, and a team with a good balance of roles does not automatically work well together. Communication, trust, leadership, accountability and the team’s context all matter. Belbin is most useful as a starting point — a way to generate insight and conversation that can help a team make better use of the capabilities it already has.

A team doesn’t necessarily need nine different roles. It needs enough of the right contributions at the right time.

Where it falls short

The first limitation is that people can easily take the roles too literally. Someone might score strongly as a Plant and conclude, “I’m the creative one.” Or a manager might start thinking, “She’s our Coordinator, so she should handle the coordination of every project. That’s where a useful framework can turn into a set of labels. People are more flexible than that. Their contribution changes according to the situation, the task, their experience and the people around them.

There are also questions about the psychometric strength and empirical basis of Belbin’s role model. It shouldn’t be treated like a clinical or scientifically definitive personality assessment. The roles are better understood as a practical framework for exploring team contribution than as objective descriptions of someone’s underlying personality.

And there’s a bigger limitation: Belbin tells you relatively little about whether a team actually functions well. You can have a beautifully balanced collection of Belbin roles and still have a team with poor communication, low trust, unclear goals, weak accountability or unresolved conflict.

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) gives teams a framework for exploring differences in how people prefer to take in information, make decisions and interact with the world around them. It can help team members understand why colleagues may approach the same situation differently — and why a way of working that feels natural to one person may be less comfortable for another.

In a team-development context, one of the biggest benefits of MBTI is the language it provides for talking about these differences. A team might discover, for example, that some people want time to reflect before making a decision while others prefer to think things through out loud. Some may focus naturally on facts and practical details, while others are more interested in possibilities and the bigger picture. Understanding these preferences can make it easier to adapt communication, reduce unnecessary friction and make better use of the different perspectives within a team.

The real value of MBTI is the conversation it can create: How do we prefer to work? Where might our preferences differ? And what do we need to do to work effectively with people who approach things differently?

As with any personality framework, MBTI works best as a starting point for conversation rather than a set of labels. Being an “ENTJ” or an “ISFP” does not explain everything about how someone behaves, and people are not limited to a fixed way of working. Context, experience, relationships and the demands of a particular situation all influence how we behave.

It is also important not to confuse personality preferences with capability. A preference for one way of working does not mean that someone cannot work effectively in another way. Nor does a collection of different MBTI types automatically make a high-performing team.

MBTI can provide one useful lens on team dynamics, but it is only one part of the picture. Trust, communication, leadership, accountability and a clear common purpose remain fundamental to team performance.

MBTI Team Types

MBTI can also be used to look at the team as a whole. By combining the individual preferences of team members, we can create a picture of the team’s collective preferences. This can highlight behaviours and approaches that come naturally to the team, as well as areas that may require more conscious effort.

Here’s an example of a team with combined profile ESTJ. The first graphic explains the combined strengths of the team members – these are the behaviours that come naturally to them.

MBTIteamprofile

 

And then there’s the flipside. The same team profiles as being INFP. This graphic shows the areas this team needs to be aware of because its team members don’t naturally exhibit them.

MBTIteamprofileflipside

Where MBTI falls short

The categories can feel more absolute than they are

MBTI places people into either/or preferences — for example, Introversion or Extraversion, Thinking or Feeling. In reality, people often fall somewhere along a continuum and may behave differently depending on the situation.

People can turn the types into labels

Once someone identifies as an “ENTJ” or “ISFP”, there’s a risk of using the type to explain or excuse behaviour: “That’s just how I am.” In teams, that’s potentially unhelpful. The purpose should be to understand differences and increase flexibility, not put people in boxes.

It doesn’t tell you how capable someone is

MBTI doesn’t describe competence. Being a particular type doesn’t make someone a better leader, communicator, decision-maker or team player. It also doesn’t tell you whether someone will perform well in a particular role.

The underlying psychometrics are contested

There has been substantial criticism of MBTI’s reliability and validity, particularly around the use of categorical types and the idea that people can be cleanly classified into one of two preferences on each dimension. So it is better presented as a practical framework for reflection and discussion than as a definitive assessment of personality.

Insights Discovery

Insights Discovery gives teams a simple way to explore differences in how people prefer to communicate and work with others. The model uses four colour energies — Fiery Red, Sunshine Yellow, Earth Green and Cool Blue — to help people understand their own preferences and recognise different approaches in the people around them. Everyone has a mix of all four colour energies, with some preferences being more natural or energising than others.

Its particular strength in team development is its accessibility. The colour language gives teams a shared vocabulary for talking about differences that might otherwise be difficult to articulate. A team might discover, for example, that some colleagues prefer a direct and decisive approach, while others place more emphasis on discussion and relationships. Some may want detailed information before moving forward, while others are more energised by possibilities and interaction. Recognising these preferences can help people adapt how they communicate and work together.

For a leader, this can provide a useful way of asking questions such as: How are we communicating? What might different people need from each other? Where might our preferences create friction? And where could we adapt our approach to get better results?

As with Belbin and MBTI, the value of Insights Discovery is not in putting people into boxes. The four colour energies are intended to describe preferences, and people can draw on different energies depending on the situation and environment. The framework is most useful when it increases self-awareness and encourages people to flex their behaviour, rather than when it becomes a shorthand for explaining everything about a colleague.

Where Insights Discovery falls short

The simplicity that makes Insights Discovery accessible can also be its limitation. Colour language is memorable, but it can easily become shorthand: “He’s Red” or “She’s a Blue.” This can turn a nuanced profile into a label and encourage assumptions about how someone will behave.

It is also important to distinguish preference from capability. A preference for one colour energy does not mean that someone cannot behave differently or develop their ability to do so. Nor does having a particular mix of colour energies tell you whether someone will be an effective leader or team member.

And, like the other tools, Insights Discovery does not measure team effectiveness directly.

Three tools, three different perspectives

Belbin, MBTI and Insights Discovery all help teams explore differences between people, but they do so from different perspectives. The right choice of tool for your team depends on what you want the team to understand and what conversation you want to create.

Belbin focuses on contribution. It asks: What roles and contributions do we need from people for the team to get its work done? It is particularly useful when a team wants to look at how work gets shared, where strengths and gaps exist, and whether important contributions are being overlooked.

MBTI focuses on preferences. It asks: How do we naturally tend to direct our energy, take in information and make decisions? It can help team members understand why colleagues may approach the same situation differently and why certain ways of working feel more natural to some people than to others.

Insights Discovery focuses particularly on communication and relationships. It asks: How do our behavioural preferences affect the way we communicate and interact with each other? Its accessible colour language can make differences easy to recognise and discuss, and can encourage people to think about how they adapt their approach when working with others.

There is inevitably some overlap. All three can increase self-awareness, provide a common language and help teams appreciate differences. None of them, however, provides a complete picture of team performance. The tools are lenses. They help leaders and teams see things they might otherwise miss, create better conversations and identify opportunities to work differently. The real work begins with what the team does with those insights.

Key takeaways

  • Individual capability doesn’t automatically create team performance. A group of talented people still needs to develop the ways of working that allow them to perform well together.
  • Different tools give you different lenses. Belbin looks at team contributions, MBTI at preferences, and Insights Discovery at communication and behavioural preferences.
  • Use the tool to start a conversation, not end one. The value comes from what teams learn, discuss and change as a result of using the tool.
  • Don’t put people in boxes. Profiles describe preferences or patterns; they don’t define what someone can do or how they will behave in every situation.
  • Self-awareness is only the beginning. Understanding differences matters, but high-performing teams also need trust, clear goals, effective communication, accountability and the ability to adapt.
  • Choose the tool based on the question you want to explore. The most useful tool is the one that helps your team have the conversation it needs to have.
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The elements of effective teams: 10 questions to ask

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This post explores the everyday behaviours that shape team effectiveness and includes a simple activity you can use to assess your team and identify opportunities to improve.

  • Reading time
  • 7 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Team leaders, managers and team members who want to take a closer look at how their team works—not just what it achieves.

 

A new manager in one of our training sessions commented: We have the right people, so why isn’t the team working? Behind her comment was a different question: Am I doing something wrong?

Not necessarily.

When a team is formed, we often make assumptions. For example, we assume that everyone understands the purpose, that roles and responsibilities are clear, that people will communicate effectively and that everyone knows how to work well together. We also assume that they will speak up when something isn’t working, that they will resolve disagreements constructively and that everyone has the same understanding of what the team is trying to achieve.

Often, we don’t discover that these assumptions are wrong until something goes wrong: a project misses a deadline, decisions take too long, responsibilities overlap, a disagreement becomes personal, or someone feels they aren’t being heard.

We also bring our own personalities, experiences, expectations and ways of working to the team. One person may think out loud, while another prefers time to reflect before speaking. One may be comfortable challenging ideas directly, while another may be more cautious about disagreement. Some people naturally take the lead, while others contribute by listening, questioning or bringing a different perspective.

Putting a group of capable people together doesn’t automatically create an effective team. An effective team develops through the everyday behaviours of its members: how clearly people communicate, how they handle disagreement, how they share responsibility, how they give feedback and how willing they are to learn from experience.

That’s why it’s worth taking a step back and looking at how a team actually works together—not just what it is expected to achieve.

 

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The “how”, not the “what”

The what is usually relatively easy to define. A team has targets, objectives, projects, deadlines and deliverables. These tell us what the team is there to accomplish. The how is less visible, but it is just as important. How do people communicate? How are decisions made? How are disagreements handled? How do team members share responsibility? How do they give and receive feedback? How do they respond when things don’t go according to plan?

Two teams can have exactly the same objective and very different experiences, and very different results, because of how they work together.

The “how” is found in the interactions between team members. It is the conversation before a decision is made, the way someone responds to a different opinion, whether people feel comfortable raising a concern, how responsibilities are shared and what happens when someone makes a mistake.

Over time, it’s the “how” that shapes the team’s culture, relationships and ability to get things done.

So when we talk about effective teams, we need to look beyond the question “What does this team need to achieve?” and ask: “How do we work together to achieve it?”

How effective is your team?

Here’s a simple activity we use when running workshops with existing teams. It is designed to get people talking about the how of teamwork—not just whether the team is achieving its goals.

Some of the questions may seem familiar. Others focus on aspects of teamwork that are easy to overlook, particularly when a team is focused on targets, deadlines and results. In our experience, questions around learning, reflection and relationships can receive less attention than the more tangible aspects of team performance.

Try it with your team

Select one team of which you are currently a member. This could be your department, a project team, a management team or another group you work with regularly. First, ask each team member to answer the questions individually. Rate each statement on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being low and 5 being high:

Don’t overthink your answers. Your first instinct is often useful.

  1. Do we have a clearly defined purpose?
  2. Are our roles and responsibilities well-defined, understood and followed?
  3. Do we have the tools and resources we need to achieve our objectives?
  4. Do we listen to each other?
  5. Do we all actively participate in problem solving?
  6. Do we work constructively through conflict?
  7. Does our team leader provide relevant and specific feedback on whether we are meeting expectations?
  8. Do we work and learn together?
  9. Do we take time to assess our progress and how we are working together?
  10. Would we choose to work together on another team?

Compare your answers

This is where the activity gets interesting. Don’t simply add up the scores and focus on the total. Instead, compare your answers with those of your colleagues. Where are the scores similar? Where are they different? For example, if one person gives listening a 5 and another gives it a 2, ask: What are you experiencing that led you to give this a 2?

The differences in perception can be more valuable than the scores themselves. They can reveal experiences that other team members may not be aware of.

Look beyond the numbers

You may find that your team scores highly on purpose, roles and resources, but lower on listening, conflict, learning or reflection. This isn’t necessarily a problem. It is an opportunity to ask why. Teams that are strongly focused on goals and results can sometimes spend most of their energy on what needs to be achieved and less time considering how they are working together to achieve it.

Questions 8–10 are particularly useful here. They encourage the team to step back from day-to-day tasks and consider whether they are learning together, reflecting on their progress and creating a team experience that people would want to repeat.

Turn the conversation into action

Once you’ve discussed the results, choose one area that the team would like to improve. Let’s use listening as an example.

Ask:

  • What would need to happen for you to score listening higher?
  • What is one specific thing we could change for us to score higher on listening?
  • What would be different in the team, if we were better at listening?
  • How would we notice this difference?

Your score

Effective teams should be expecting to score 40+.  Outstanding teams score 45+.

Key Takeaways

  • Having the right people isn’t enough. How people work together matters just as much as who is on the team.
  • Don’t take teamwork for granted. Purpose, roles, communication and expectations need to be made clear rather than assumed.
  • Differences can be a strength. People bring different personalities, experiences and working styles to a team. Understanding and making use of those differences can strengthen collaboration.
  • Focus on the how, not just the what. Targets, objectives and deliverables tell us what a team needs to achieve. The way people communicate, make decisions, handle conflict and share responsibility determines how they get there.
  • Team effectiveness is everyone’s responsibility. Leaders have an important role in creating the right conditions, but every team member influences how the team works.
  • Look for different perspectives. Differences in how team members experience the same team can reveal issues that aren’t visible from one person’s perspective.
  • Don’t let the numbers tell the whole story. A team assessment is most useful when it starts a conversation about what is working, what isn’t and why.
  • Small changes can make a difference. Agreeing on one specific behaviour to change is often more useful than creating a long list of improvements.
  • Effective teams keep learning. Taking time to reflect on how the team works—not just what it achieves—helps teams adapt and improve over time.
  • Ask the question regularly. How do we work together, and what could we do differently to make our team more effective?
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The 3–6–9 of great leadership (according to TED …and me)

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As a kid, my parents told me I watched too much TV. They would not be pleased to know that hasn’t changed very much, but at least nowadays I try to watch things that might actually inspire me. That’s where TED [www.ted.com] comes in. TED talks can be a great source of inspiration. They can be short, or long. They can be energetic or dry. And they are full of information on nearly any topic.

The “3-6-9 of great leadership”

As an intercultural trainer, business English teacher, project manager and former actor, I think a lot about what motivates people, especially at work. Three short TED talks that I have watched over and over really get to the heart of what makes a great leader. I call them the “3-6-9 of great leadership.” These three talks summarise in (more or less) 3 minutes, 6 minutes and 9 minutes what I think is the essence of great leadership. For now, I’m not going into why these and other well-structured talks and presentations work as well as they do. Let’s just take in their messages.

Derek Sivers

How to start a movement

The first TED talk, by entrepreneur Derek Sivers, explains to us in three minutes “How to Start a Movement.” Using a light-hearted video of a group of rather spontaneous dancers, he demonstrates how to lead and how to create a situation in which people want to follow. He also surprises us by highlighting who the real leader is. It’s not who you might think.

Drew Dudley

Everyday leadership

If you work in a team or an office, how often do your simple, unremarkable actions influence others? In the second talk, leadership educator Drew Dudley asks us in six minutes whether people can be leaders even if they don’t have that title. In this quick-paced, very personal story, he shows us how we can often be leaders without even knowing it.

Roselinde Torres

What it takes to be a great leader

In the final talk, the longest of the three at just over nine minutes, leadership expert Roselinde Torres details qualities of a great leader. She has spent 25 years researching leadership and her fascinating talk boils it down to the need to ask three simple questions:

  • Where are you looking to anticipate the next change to your business model or your life?
  • What is the diversity measure of your personal and professional stakeholder network?
  • Are you courageous enough to abandon a practice that has made you successful in the past?

Spoiler alert!

All three talks repeat one particular theme: While some principles of leadership may remain, true leaders are characterised by doing something different. But not just for the sake of being different. They have a goal.

  • Derek Sivers’s ‘leader’ is the first person who has the courage to follow the person you think is the leader. As the first ‘follower’ he gives others the permission to join in.
  • Drew Dudley’s ‘leader’ appears to go about his daily business fearlessly and effortlessly. In the process, he unknowingly inspires someone to go about her work as fearlessly as she can.
  • Roselinde Torres reminds that great leaders take action; they do not walk with their heads down, trying not to be noticed. They dare to be different.

Is leadership for managers only, then? Definitely not. These three talks remind us that learning to be an effective leader can help you chair a meeting, or create a presentation that people remember. Among many other things.

… so what are your thoughts?

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Action-Centred Leadership: A Practical Exercise to Find Your Leadership Balance

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This post introduces the Action-Centred Leadership Model and provides a practical exercise to help leaders reflect on how they achieve objectives, develop their people, and create high-performing teams.

  • Reading time
  • 8 Minutes
  • Target audience
  • Managers, team leaders, and aspiring leaders looking for a practical framework to improve their leadership effectiveness and balance task delivery, team performance, and individual development.

Introduction

Delivering results is only one measure of an effective leader. Today’s leaders are expected to engage and develop their people, foster collaboration, navigate change, and lead across hybrid or geographically dispersed teams. We often hear about the impact of having to balance these responsibilities from participants in our leadership training programmes. “There is little time to reflect on anything and I have no idea if I’m even doing a good job in leading my team”, one participant said. And a few others nodded in agreement.

Leadership is a constant balancing act between achieving objectives, building strong teams, and developing individuals. That’s why practical leadership frameworks remain so valuable. Especially when they turn complexity into something tangible and actionable. John Adair’s Action-Centred Leadership Model remains one of the most relevant because it focuses on what leaders actually do every day.

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The John Adair action-centred leadership model

Developed by leadership expert John Adair, the Action-Centred Leadership Model has stood the test of time because of its simplicity and practicality. While the workplace has changed dramatically since the model was introduced, its core message remains highly relevant: effective leadership is about balancing three interconnected responsibilities.

 

 

Leadership circles

 

The overlapping circles illustrate that these responsibilities are interconnected. They influence one another. Progress in one area often strengthens the others. A leader who develops individuals builds a stronger team. A stronger team collaborates more effectively, making it easier to achieve objectives. Likewise, successfully achieving meaningful goals builds confidence, strengthens relationships, and creates new opportunities for individual growth.

This is why the model remains so powerful. Rather than viewing leadership as a series of competing priorities, it encourages leaders to see task, team, and individual development as mutually reinforcing. The challenge is finding the “right” balance so that each area supports the others, rather than allowing one to dominate.

Understanding the Three Leadership Responsibilities

Before reflecting on your own leadership approach, it is useful to explore what each of the three circles represents.

Achieve the task

Every leader has a responsibility to deliver results. This involves setting clear objectives, making effective decisions, solving problems, allocating resources, and ensuring that important work gets completed. Strong task leadership creates clarity. People understand what needs to be achieved, why it matters, and what success looks like.

Build and maintain the team

Results are rarely achieved by individuals working alone. Leaders also need to create the conditions for people to work effectively together. This means building trust, encouraging collaboration, creating a shared sense of purpose, managing conflict constructively, and developing a team environment where people feel motivated to contribute.

Develop individuals

Effective leaders recognise that every team member has different strengths, motivations, and development needs. Developing individuals involves coaching, providing meaningful feedback, recognising achievements, delegating opportunities, and helping people build the skills and confidence they need to grow.

A practical exercise to reflect on your leadership balance

This exercise is not intended to provide an objective assessment of your leadership effectiveness. Its purpose is to encourage honest reflection and help you identify where small changes could make the biggest difference. Applying it to your own leadership is where the real value of this model lies.

You’ll need an uninterrupted 10 minutes, pen and paper.

Step 1 – draw your 3 circles

  • Take a moment and think about how well you are performing in the three areas.
  • Now take a pen and draw the three circles in proportion to how satisfied you are with your performance in each area. (and not how much time you spend on each area).  For example, if you feel that you are doing a good job of achieving the task, but your team members aren’t really developing and there’s very little team building then you might have something like the example below:

LeadershipStep 2 – reflect on your leadership balance

Now look at your circles and consider the following questions:

  • How satisfied are you with your current leadership balance?
  • Which area would have the greatest impact if you improved it?
  • What three specific actions could you take to strengthen your effectiveness?
  • What has prevented you from taking these actions so far, and how could you overcome those barriers?

Step 3 – choose 1 action 

Choose one practical step you can take in the coming days and commit to doing it. Small changes in how you lead—such as having an open conversation, clarifying expectations, or creating more opportunities for team collaboration—can have a significant impact over time.

Conclusion

The enduring appeal of John Adair’s Action-Centred Leadership Model lies in its simplicity. It reminds leaders that effective leadership comes down to balancing three fundamental responsibilities: achieving the task, building the team, and developing individuals.

However, finding the right balance does not mean giving equal attention to each area at all times. Leadership situations are constantly changing. A new project may require a stronger focus on achieving the task. A team facing challenges may need greater attention on trust and collaboration. An individual taking on new responsibilities may need more coaching and support.

The skill of effective leadership is recognising what the situation requires and adjusting accordingly.

Simple frameworks can be powerful because they give us a clear way to pause, reflect, and ask better questions. Adair’s model provides leaders with a practical lens to consider where they are having the greatest impact, and where small changes could make a meaningful difference.

Leadership development starts with awareness. Real improvement comes when that awareness leads to action.

Key Takeaways

  • Effective leadership is not measured by results alone. Great leaders balance achieving objectives with building strong teams and developing individuals.
  • John Adair’s Action-Centred Leadership Model provides a simple framework for understanding the three responsibilities every leader must manage: task, team, and individual.
  • The three areas are interconnected. Investing in people strengthens teams, stronger teams improve performance, and achieving meaningful goals creates opportunities for further growth.
  • The challenge for leaders is not giving equal attention to every area at all times, but finding the right balance for the situation they are facing.
  • Regular reflection helps leaders recognise where they are performing well and where small changes could improve their impact.
  • Leadership development starts with awareness but real improvement comes from turning reflection into action.

 

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Giving feedback using the DESC model

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Giving feedback effectively will have a real impact on your business

Everybody understands that performance feedback should be constructive, focused and to the point. Effective feedback can resolve conflicts, overcome problems and improve individual and team morale. It doesn’t really need mentioning that ineffective feedback often accomplishes the opposite. Or that if you are skilled at giving effective feedback, your team will be more motivated, which leads to better performance.

While feedback should focus on behavior, performance feedback is still a personal conversation between people about people. Emotions always play a part in interpersonal communication. Effective feedback is as much about bringing the right message(s) across as it is about how your message is interpreted.

No matter how skilled the feedback giver is, if the receiver isn’t interested in hearing or taking the feedback, nothing will get through.http://www.forbes.com/sites/danschawbel/2014/03/05/douglas-stone-the-importance-of-feedback-in-business-communications/

The more difficult the feedback, the more the giver needs to consider the the emotional impact of the feedback. Giving positive feedback is easy.
Writing emails that people read: Free eBook download hbspt.cta.load(455190, ‘aaa71860-e705-4a7e-b8e5-ab6e16849d2e’, {});

DESC is simple and it works

In our skills-based Leadership training, we use the simple 4-step model DESC for structuring feedback. Participants in our “Practical Toolbox for Managers” seminars often highlight DESC as one of the most valuable tools they are taking away. This model is designed to help you to get your message clear and it can even take the stress out of the feedback conversation for those of us that weren’t born with effective feedback-giving skills.

DESCRIPTION

Give an objective and concrete description of what you have observed using “I” statements.

EFFECT

Explain the effect or impact it had on your business, the team or its members. If the effect was an emotion, name it. Your body language and tone of voice will already be showing your elation or frustration – putting them out in the open can help you move things forward.

SOLUTION

Build the solution through a directive (“What I would like you to do next time is …”) or a participative approach (“What do you think we can do to avoid this next time?”).

CONCLUSION

Build a “contract of commitment”. Check your understanding of what has been agreed, and get commitment for the future.

Further Leadership resources:

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