A lot of people cope with stress by going to the gym, jogging, playing with the dog, reading a book, etc. – these things relax us, tire us, and help us to not think about the stress that we feel/felt. But even when we think we are good at dealing with stress, when confronted with a similar situation, your stress levels can shoot up even faster, because – let’s face it – you’ve been there before.
Stress at work takes on a life of its own
Deadlines, targets, budgets, schedules, colleagues, clients and expectations – just a few causes of stress at work. Before you know it stress is a living thing that lurks in the corners or takes a seat at the meeting table. One moment it talks through Steve, whose eternal negativity about suppliers causes others to roll their eyes, then through a client who’s asking for the impossible. It comes and goes as it pleases, clinging onto this person or that and lingering in the elevator, or worse, by the water cooler.
The stresses of past, present and future
The future that is thought of, imagined and discussed so very often at work and at home causes people to lose sight of the now. You stretch yourself three months ahead, a year, even five years. You already know exactly where you’ll be on October the 14th this year (and you’re not looking forward to it). We anticipate future scenarios and get stressed by what has yet to happen. We live our lives with our feet in the moment and our heads in the future. And in business this is the norm – everything you do today is ideally based on a future goal. As best as you can, you try to stretch and influence your way towards that future. This means that sometimes you are often not fully considering what is really happening with you right now. The futures we create are heavily based on our experiences so far – and how we feel right now.
And then there’s the past. Who doesn’t get lost in things they should’ve done or said, and who doesn’t let experiences from the past influence future decisions? We all do…it’s normal. Finally, how much time did you spend today not working on something for the near or far future?
The existence of stress is optional
Try seeing it this way: The presence of stress is a message to your “system”. Our bodies are great at giving us messages of whatever kind, thanks to our senses. Our fight-or-flight response to stress has helped humanity survive but, contrary to prehistoric times, today we don’t remove ourselves from stress – we can’t. Because it exists everywhere.
Sleepless nights, sweaty palms or butterflies in your stomach is your body’s way of saying “You deserve to know what you need to know”. It’s doing what it can to give you the message, and it won’t stop until you listen. Why? Because it wants you to succeed, why else.
Once we recognize this, the existence of stress can become optional when you learn to release it for good. This is something you can teach yourself. Like data on a computer, you can delete the stress from your system. Try seeing it as simply as searching for outdated or unwanted stress programs and hitting shift+delete. Here are 2 practical exercises that can help you eliminate (some of) your stress.
Exercise 1: Erase the future in 20-30 minutes
Part 1
Take a pen and paper and write down all the things you want/need to be successful/happy/stress-free right now. Word it as positively as you can: don’t say “less stress at work” – stress is what you don’t need. For example:
- An optimal work environment
- Time to relax
- Trust in myself and in others
- Solutions
Write down only the things you want to have. You know what they are!
Part 2
Sit on the ground, with your legs folded in front of you. Close your eyes. Breathe in deeply and slowly – a few times until your thoughts and breath are calm. Straighten your spine, move your shoulders up and back (opening your chest) and breathe in as deep as you can, first through your stomach, then into your lungs, then exhale calmly. Do this until you feel relaxed.
Imagine you’re looking at a horizontal line in front of you. At the very beginning of it, there’s you, a perpendicularly placed line. You represent the now. (You can draw it on paper if it helps you visualize it, but with a pencil and you need an eraser.) The horizontal line represents the future, everything that isn’t now. It doesn’t matter what that line represents to you, positive, negative, a combination of both, financially, emotionally, physically, professionally – task-wise, team-wise, family-wise, etc. Stress=stress.
Pick up an eraser, real or imaginative, and wipe out that line – up until the point where you stand, in the now. While you erase the line, be aware of the future stresses you’re wiping out and of how open/exciting/empty the future suddenly becomes. You can name your stresses if you want before you wipe them away, or you can wipe out the line in one move – do whatever works for you.
Now, there’s only you left, the stress-free vertical line in an empty space. Imagine you’re moving around freely in the space. There are no expectations anymore. Everywhere you turn, there is only you in the now – nothing else and you take a moment to enjoy it.
Part 3
When you’re ready, take the list that you prepared. Read out loud, in this way: Now I have… (an optimal team environment). Now I have… (time to relax), etc. Read the sentences until you feel that the message you’re sending to your system has registered.
When you’re ready, leave the space.
Exercise 2: A 10-minute goodbye to stress
Is stress is a tangible presence on the office floor? Does it negatively affect the atmosphere or productivity? Then it’s time to show it the door – and here’s how…
Part 1
Write down in one sentence what the environment will be like once the stress leaves. For example: This environment is open to productivity, teamwork and respect.
Part 2
Think of and picture a stressful scenario in detail. Become aware of how it makes/made you feel, think about the root cause, the people involved. Don’t rush this – the more awareness you build of the stress the better. Take a moment to recognize the feelings that come/came with the stress, the consequences of the stress, the outcome, etc.
If you have any final words for the stress, now is the time to say them. If you don’t, that’s fine. When you’re ready, accompany the stress outside. Open the door and ask it to leave. You might have to persist. Like a guest who has outstayed their welcome, don’t expect it to find its way out alone. Show it out the office, down the corridor, into the elevator – you may have to escort it all the way out the front door.
Part 3
You wouldn’t be here without the stress. As much as you disliked having it around, it served a purpose. It got you to see that it needed to go, right? That’s something to be grateful for. Write down or say out loud 7-10 honest reasons why you’re grateful…(the amount of reasons is important, yet difficult, because most of your memory of the stress is probably negative), take a look at these examples:
- I’m grateful for being able to let it go
- I’m grateful for what it taught me
- I’m grateful for the positive outcome
Lastly, read out the sentence from part 1 of this exercise until you feel that the message(s) you’re sending has registered.
FOR MORE INFORMATION
Here are a few links that might be of interest to you:
Making a difference in meetings – 6 approaches for introverts to be heard
/in Business English, Soft Skills /by Scott Levey“You’re too quiet”, “you need to be more involved in our meetings and discussions” and “people who matter are getting the wrong impression of you because you aren’t forward enough “. This is the feedback Sven, a high-potential from a German automotive company, shared with me during a management training program. Sven was clearly able and bright – but he was a classic “introvert”. The idea of extraversion–introversion is a core dimension in most personality trait models, including the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator. Sven is reflective rather than outgoing, and prefers working alone to working in groups. Sven wanted to think before he talked, as opposed to talking to think. However, his natural introversion was getting in the way of his career opportunities. Sven wanted to know “What can I do to be more involved in meetings … without having to be a different person?”

Always prepare before the meeting
If you don’t have the agenda then get hold of one. If the organizer hasn’t prepared an agenda then ask them what they want to get from the meeting and which questions do they want to discuss Who is going to be there? Why have they been invited? Who will assume which roles? Get your thoughts together ahead of time. Write down questions, concerns and points you want to share. Turn up with a couple of clear points you want to contribute. This preparation means that you can …
Speak up early on
If you know what the meeting is about you can and should get actively involved as quickly as possible. Get your thoughts on the table as quickly as you can. This means that you will feel part of the meeting from the start, others will see you as involved and you’ll notice people connecting, challenging, or building on your contributions. And if your meeting quickly goes into an unexpected direction …
Take control if you aren’t ready to speak
When somebody wants to pull you in to the meeting and you feel you aren’t ready then actively control this. You have the right to take a little more time. Try expressions like:
Be aware that there is a danger of over-thinking too, and you may find the meeting has moved on too fast. With this in mind …
Accept that sometimes you need to just speak
If you aren’t fully ready to speak but feel you can’t ask for time try expressions like …
And you don’t always need to have original ideas. If you’re not at your best try to …
Play to your strengths and leverage your listening skills
Many introverts are considered good listeners. You haven’t been talking that much and you’ve probably heard things that others haven’t (as they’ve been busy talking). This means you can …
Accept and embrace that you can’t be perfect (all the time)
Nobody wants to come across as stupid or incompetent. But if you aren’t visible be aware that people may quickly see you as “the assistant”, or “the doer but not the thinker”. Everybody has said things that have been wrong, incomplete, or poorly thought through. And vulnerability is important for building trust. We trust people who are human and fallible. Be open to risking sharing ideas and thoughts and try expressions like …
And finally…
If the English is an issue then consider getting some targeted training. By doing the above you’ll quickly begin to be seen as playing an active role, and be viewed as a contributor. You can also expect to grow in confidence over time as you see strategies working and people reacting to you differently.
Why, statistically speaking, your emails probably aren’t as clear as you think they are
/in Business English, Soft Skills /by Scott LeveyAt the time of writing this blog it’s estimated that 269 billion mails are sent a day. Once we’ve cut out all the spam (say 50%) that is still an awful lot of communication. But how effective is email as a communication tool really? Put simply – it depends. If a mail is well-written, for example using the SUGAR approach, email can be an effective way of communicating information and sharing ideas. However, where email begins to struggle is when it includes or conveys an emotion. And we’re not talking about BIG EMOTIONS – most of us are aware sending emails when tired, upset, angry etc isn’t a good idea. Email communication also struggles when we try to convey much subtler emotions – irony, sarcasm, satisfaction etc.
Why do we struggle to communicate emotions through email?
In our conversations, we convey emotion through both words AND paralinguistic cues (body language, facial movements, expressions, gestures, emphasis, tone, intonation etc). In fact it gets more complicated as sometime the absence of an expected paralinguistic cue is what conveys the emotion, or a shared context, for example when expressing irony or sarcasm.
When it comes to email we try to convey emotion through word choice, sentence structures and – whether you like them or not – visuals such as emojis (yes, they are now common even in business). However, scientific research shows that we tend to consistently overestimate our email writing skills.
Why writing an email is particularly different
Communicating in writing isn’t new – but the ubiquity and pervasiveness of email is! Writing and physically posting letters meant that, to a greater extent, we planned and considered what we wrote and how we wrote it. Nobody posted a 3 line letter. Today, the speed and convenience of email means that we too often just type and send. This brings with it a whole new set of behaviours, and because it is so much a part of modern communication we don’t take time to evaluate how we use it or look to sharpen our writing skills
Research on how we don’t communicate as well as we think we do via email
There’s plenty of research from social psychologists into how we communicate by email. One interesting piece of research shows that the limitations of email are often underappreciated when it comes to communicating an intended emotion – and that when we are writing an email we consistently overestimate how well our reader will understand what we are saying.
Published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Kruger, Epley, Parker and Zhi-Wen Ng, ran a series of studies comparing how well an email writer evaluated their email with the reader.
Why are we so convinced our emails are easy to decode?
It’s easy to lay the blame with the reader. Maybe they read the mail too quickly, or skimmed it on their phone as they were walking to their next meeting. Maybe their language skills aren’t strong enough and they need to improve their business English. And dare we say it, perhaps they are just too dim to understand our well-crafted emails!
In fact, it often comes down to our being egocentric. Studies such as Elizabeth Newton’s “tapping study” , where participants were asked to tap the rhythm of a well-known song they were listening to – and then estimate whether another listener would guess the song by their (clearly skilful) tapping (50% vs 3%), show how easily we convince ourselves that our reality is obvious. They also shine a light on how difficult we find it to imagine the perspective of somebody else (e.g. “I clearly meant it to be ironic – how could they not get that!?!”).
So what can you do to help your readers interpret your emails correctly?
Here are three things you can keep in mind for the future:
And finally, if you’re not sure, use the phone.
MORE ON EFFECTIVE EMAILING
Negotiations in English – tips and phrases (for beginners)
/in Business English, Soft Skills /by Hooria MahmoodWorking within a central purchasing and logistics business unit, negotiation is a word that one cannot escape. Most of my participants have dealings with suppliers within Germany, though some negotiate with suppliers worldwide. Negotiation skills are a key part of the on-the-job training and support that I deliver. In this post, I’ve collected some basic negotiating “musts” that I use in my training.
Prepare
Preparation is the first key factor for all negotiations. In order for you negotiation meeting to be a success you must have clear goals in mind, acceptable alternatives and possible solutions, what you’re willing to trade, and finally what your bottom line is- where you are not prepared to budge. In “negotiations-speak”: You need to know your BATNA.
Start positive
Highlight all the positive goals both parties want to achieve for the day to reduce any tense atmosphere and break the ice with some healthy small talk.
Effective questioning
Ask open ended questions in order to establish what the other party wants. Use questions to dig deeper, to uncover needs, to reveal alternative options, etc.
Agreeing
When your counterpart makes an acceptable suggestion or proposal you can agree to show enthusiasm and highlight how you are mutually benefiting from something. Revealing your stance will also help come to a favourable negotiation.
Disagreeing
Disagreements are a normal and positive part of building a relationship and coming to an agreement, they show transparency. It is always a good idea to anticipate possible disagreements before going into a negotiation meeting. However, disagreements should not come across threatening but instead should be mitigated and polite.
Clarifying
In order to avoid any misunderstandings especially in an environment where English is the lingua franca, it is fundamental to be clear about your goals but also ask for clarification when something isn’t clear to you.
Compromising
Compromising is often required at times during a negotiation, and the way you do it is often an indicator of the importance of some of the negotiation terms. Remember, when you do compromise consider getting something for giving.
Bargaining
This is the moment to debate price, conditions or a transaction where one must be firm, ambitious and ready to justify their offers. In this stage you can employ hard ball tactics or a softly softly approach, either way being prepared with a strategy will take you to the winning road.
Summarising
There are key moments when summarising will take place during a negotiation; concluding discussion points, rounds of bargaining and the final commitment. This stage is also the moment of agreeing on the next steps and it is vital not to leave anything unsaid.
Of course…
There’s a lot more to negotiating. Sometimes not saying anything is a valuable approach, while creating and claiming value is also a must. Feel free to contact us if you’re interested in learning more about what we can do for you/your team. Or keep an eye on this blog, for more negotiation tips and phrases.
I’ll leave you with another great piece of free content: 1001 Meetings phrases.
Losing my mind on a deserted island: My challenges of working virtually
/in Soft Skills /by Guest AuthorNo, I don’t think I am really losing my mind, but some days I feel like it. As Head of Sales for Target Training I work virtually each day. This means that I am working at clients’ offices, on a train or at home in my office. I am constantly emailing, messaging, phoning and videoconferencing with my colleagues. There are weeks where I don’t see any of my colleagues in person. I love the flexibility and autonomy of working virtually. There are a lot of advantages and it fits my lifestyle. This way of working is becoming the norm for many professionals and with it come challenges. The key is to make sure you address the challenges before they start to affect your, and your team’s productivity.
I was in a client meeting a few weeks back discussing a virtual teams training project with a department leader. We were looking into his team’s struggles in an effort to customize our training approach. During our talk, he used the phrase ‘…with everyone working on their own little deserted island..’ when he was discussing his virtual team spread over 5 countries. It struck me as a great analogy and got me thinking about my team.
So, I took a few minutes and wrote down the biggest challenges I personally face when working virtually. I recommend doing the same as the exercise helped me raise awareness of what is happening and what I can do to improve things. I had quite a long list after 10 minutes, but here are the three main struggles I thought I’d share:
1. Trust
Trusting the people that you work with is essential. Without trust; conflict, misunderstanding and communication breakdowns occur. In my opinion, trust is something that comes from two people investing in their working relationship. This can be purely professional or a mix of personal and professional. Trust can mean different things to different people, but I think most people would agree that it is easier to build when you see someone face to face on a regular basis. You don’t always have that luxury when working in dispersed teams. Building trust takes more effort and work. What can you do to build trust in your virtual teams?
2. Email etiquette
Love them or hate them, emails aren’t going anywhere no matter what you might have heard or read. Emails can be a great way to quickly distribute information all over the world to a number of people. They can also easily offend, frustrate and demotivate colleagues due to the smallest word, phrase or omission of something. When you don’t have the ability to see someone face to face when communicating, you need to make sure your message and tone reflect what you are trying to say. Even then, the reader may interpret things differently based what is happening on their ‘deserted island’ that particular day. What should you do? Use the phone when in doubt and establish some email rules for your virtual teams.
3. Unnecessary virtual meetings/calls
There are different opinions out there on whether to have weekly catch up meetings scheduled or not, regardless of urgent discussion points. In my opinion, the fewer the calls the better. My schedule changes quickly and needs to flexible to accommodate client demands. So, when I see a weekly call on my calendar I look at it as a barrier to productivity, unless it is about something to move a project forward. What can your team do instead of the weekly teleconferences?
As a kid, I used to fantasize about being on my own deserted island and doing what I wanted, the way I wanted, every day. That is my current reality, minus the beach. Working virtually is reality for most us and taking a few steps to improve our communication and relationships goes a long way. Give a few of the tips included in the links above a try and see how it goes!
FOR MORE INFORMATION
Read more on virtual teams on our blog. Or download our popular eBook below.
Are language tests really the best way to assess your employees business English skills?
/in Business English, Methods & Tools /by Scott LeveyWhen a department manager asks us to “test their employee’s business English” there are typically 2 reasons – they want to know if somebody is suitable for a specific job, or they are looking for evidence that somebody has improved their business English. In both cases we fully understand the need for the information – and we often find ourselves challenging the idea of a “test”. HR & L&D, line managers, business English providers, teachers and participants are all familiar with the idea of tests – we’ve all been doing them since we started school – but as a business tool they have clear limits.
Are language tests really the best fit for purpose when it comes to corporate English training?
At the heart of these limits is the question “does the test really reflect the purpose?”. These limits were highlighted in a recent newspaper article “Difficulty of NHS language test ‘worsens nurse crisis’”. The article focuses on the shortage of nurses applying for work in the UK, and behind this shortage are 2 factors: firstly the inevitable (and avoidable) uncertainty created by Brexit, and secondly that qualified and university-educated nurses who are native English speakers from countries such as Australia and New Zealand are failing to pass the English language test the NHS uses. One of the nurses said:“After being schooled here in Australia my whole life, passing high school with very good scores, including English, then passing university and graduate studies with no issues in English writing – now to ‘fail’ IELTS [the English language test] is baffling.”
To be clear there is nothing wrong with the International English Language Testing System (IELTS) per se. It is one of the most robust English language tests available, and is a multi-purpose tool used for work, study and migration. The test has four elements: speaking, listening, reading and writing. My question is “Is this really the best way to assess whether a nurse can do her job effectively in English?”
Design assessment approaches to be as close to your business reality as possible
We all want nurses who can speak, listen, read and write in the language of the country they are working in – but is a general off-the-shelf solution really the best way? What does a nurse need to write? Reports, notes, requests – yes …essays – no. Yet that is what was being “tested”. One nurse with 11 years experience in mental health, intensive care, paediatrics, surgical procedures and orthopaedics commented: “The essay test was to discuss whether TV was good or bad for children. They’re looking for how you structure the essay … I wrote essays all the time when I was doing my bachelor of nursing. I didn’t think I’d have to do another one. I don’t even know why I failed.”
Jumping from nursing to our corporate clients, our InCorporate Trainers work in-house, training business English skills with managers in such diverse fields as software development, automotive manufacturing, oil and gas, logistics, purchasing etc etc . All these managers need to speak, read, write and listen and they need to do these within specific business-critical contexts such as meetings, negotiations, presentations, emails, reports etc. So how do we assess their skills? The key is in designing assessment approaches which are as close to their business reality as possible.
Using business specific can-do statements to assess what people can do in their jobs
The Common European Framework of Reference for Languages (CEFR) is a scale indicating language competency. It offers an excellent start for all business English programs. BUT the CEFR does have 2 major drawbacks when it comes to business English:
In 2010, and in response to our client’s demand for a business-related focus, we developed a robust set of can-do statements. These statements focus on specific business skills such as meetings, networking and socializing, presenting, working on the phone and in tele- and web-conferences. Rather than assessing a software developers writing skills by asking them to write an essay on whether TV is good or bad for kids we ask them to share actual samples – emails, functional specifications, bug reports etc. They don’t lose time from the workplace and it allows us to look at what they can already do within a work context. The Business Can-do statements then provide a basis for assessing their overall skills.
This “work sample” approach can also be used when looking to measure the impact of training. Before and after examples of emails help a manager see what they are getting for their training investment and, in cooperation with works councils, many of our InCorporate Trainers use a portfolio approach where clients keep samples of what they are learning AND how this has transferred to their workplace. This practical and easily understandable approach is highly appreciated by busy department heads.
To wrap up, I understand that the NHS relying on a reputable off-the-shelf solution like IELTS has clear attractions. However, if you are looking at assessing at a department level then consider other options. And if you’d like support with that then contact us.
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Create a stress-free work environment in (less than) one hour
/in Methods & Tools /by Brenda VansetersA lot of people cope with stress by going to the gym, jogging, playing with the dog, reading a book, etc. – these things relax us, tire us, and help us to not think about the stress that we feel/felt. But even when we think we are good at dealing with stress, when confronted with a similar situation, your stress levels can shoot up even faster, because – let’s face it – you’ve been there before.
Stress at work takes on a life of its own
Deadlines, targets, budgets, schedules, colleagues, clients and expectations – just a few causes of stress at work. Before you know it stress is a living thing that lurks in the corners or takes a seat at the meeting table. One moment it talks through Steve, whose eternal negativity about suppliers causes others to roll their eyes, then through a client who’s asking for the impossible. It comes and goes as it pleases, clinging onto this person or that and lingering in the elevator, or worse, by the water cooler.
The stresses of past, present and future
The future that is thought of, imagined and discussed so very often at work and at home causes people to lose sight of the now. You stretch yourself three months ahead, a year, even five years. You already know exactly where you’ll be on October the 14th this year (and you’re not looking forward to it). We anticipate future scenarios and get stressed by what has yet to happen. We live our lives with our feet in the moment and our heads in the future. And in business this is the norm – everything you do today is ideally based on a future goal. As best as you can, you try to stretch and influence your way towards that future. This means that sometimes you are often not fully considering what is really happening with you right now. The futures we create are heavily based on our experiences so far – and how we feel right now.
And then there’s the past. Who doesn’t get lost in things they should’ve done or said, and who doesn’t let experiences from the past influence future decisions? We all do…it’s normal. Finally, how much time did you spend today not working on something for the near or far future?
The existence of stress is optional
Try seeing it this way: The presence of stress is a message to your “system”. Our bodies are great at giving us messages of whatever kind, thanks to our senses. Our fight-or-flight response to stress has helped humanity survive but, contrary to prehistoric times, today we don’t remove ourselves from stress – we can’t. Because it exists everywhere.
Sleepless nights, sweaty palms or butterflies in your stomach is your body’s way of saying “You deserve to know what you need to know”. It’s doing what it can to give you the message, and it won’t stop until you listen. Why? Because it wants you to succeed, why else.
Once we recognize this, the existence of stress can become optional when you learn to release it for good. This is something you can teach yourself. Like data on a computer, you can delete the stress from your system. Try seeing it as simply as searching for outdated or unwanted stress programs and hitting shift+delete. Here are 2 practical exercises that can help you eliminate (some of) your stress.
Exercise 1: Erase the future in 20-30 minutes
Part 1
Take a pen and paper and write down all the things you want/need to be successful/happy/stress-free right now. Word it as positively as you can: don’t say “less stress at work” – stress is what you don’t need. For example:
Write down only the things you want to have. You know what they are!
Part 2
Sit on the ground, with your legs folded in front of you. Close your eyes. Breathe in deeply and slowly – a few times until your thoughts and breath are calm. Straighten your spine, move your shoulders up and back (opening your chest) and breathe in as deep as you can, first through your stomach, then into your lungs, then exhale calmly. Do this until you feel relaxed.
Imagine you’re looking at a horizontal line in front of you. At the very beginning of it, there’s you, a perpendicularly placed line. You represent the now. (You can draw it on paper if it helps you visualize it, but with a pencil and you need an eraser.) The horizontal line represents the future, everything that isn’t now. It doesn’t matter what that line represents to you, positive, negative, a combination of both, financially, emotionally, physically, professionally – task-wise, team-wise, family-wise, etc. Stress=stress.
Pick up an eraser, real or imaginative, and wipe out that line – up until the point where you stand, in the now. While you erase the line, be aware of the future stresses you’re wiping out and of how open/exciting/empty the future suddenly becomes. You can name your stresses if you want before you wipe them away, or you can wipe out the line in one move – do whatever works for you.
Now, there’s only you left, the stress-free vertical line in an empty space. Imagine you’re moving around freely in the space. There are no expectations anymore. Everywhere you turn, there is only you in the now – nothing else and you take a moment to enjoy it.
Part 3
When you’re ready, take the list that you prepared. Read out loud, in this way: Now I have… (an optimal team environment). Now I have… (time to relax), etc. Read the sentences until you feel that the message you’re sending to your system has registered.
When you’re ready, leave the space.
Exercise 2: A 10-minute goodbye to stress
Is stress is a tangible presence on the office floor? Does it negatively affect the atmosphere or productivity? Then it’s time to show it the door – and here’s how…
Part 1
Write down in one sentence what the environment will be like once the stress leaves. For example: This environment is open to productivity, teamwork and respect.
Part 2
Think of and picture a stressful scenario in detail. Become aware of how it makes/made you feel, think about the root cause, the people involved. Don’t rush this – the more awareness you build of the stress the better. Take a moment to recognize the feelings that come/came with the stress, the consequences of the stress, the outcome, etc.
If you have any final words for the stress, now is the time to say them. If you don’t, that’s fine. When you’re ready, accompany the stress outside. Open the door and ask it to leave. You might have to persist. Like a guest who has outstayed their welcome, don’t expect it to find its way out alone. Show it out the office, down the corridor, into the elevator – you may have to escort it all the way out the front door.
Part 3
You wouldn’t be here without the stress. As much as you disliked having it around, it served a purpose. It got you to see that it needed to go, right? That’s something to be grateful for. Write down or say out loud 7-10 honest reasons why you’re grateful…(the amount of reasons is important, yet difficult, because most of your memory of the stress is probably negative), take a look at these examples:
Lastly, read out the sentence from part 1 of this exercise until you feel that the message(s) you’re sending has registered.
FOR MORE INFORMATION
Here are a few links that might be of interest to you:
Linking and building to successfully influence others
/in Hybrid solutions, Soft Skills /by Scott LeveyIn today’s business world of cross-functional initiatives, matrix structures and virtual teams, the ability to influence others is becoming even more essential if you want to succeed. And no matter what your influencing style is, to effectively influence somebody you need to connect with them. If you’re trying to influence somebody it means that you have differing opinions and ideas. One of the simplest ways to influence somebody is by “linking and building”: Find and focus on the agreement … and then build on this. Most people are open to sharing and discussing their opinions and ideas – and most of us are aware that our ideas are not the only ones valid. What we want is to be taken seriously and feel listened to. This is where “linking” comes in – if you link your ideas to their ideas it clearly shows you have listened to and understood their thoughts and feelings. And when you build on somebody’s ideas it means you are validating their contributions. This builds rapport and relationships WHICH then makes the process of influencing so much easier...


5 things to keep in mind
1. Is the link already there?
Do you just need to draw their attention to it? Or will you need to build the link step by step? If so you need to find some common ground – this could be a shared goal, a previous experience or perhaps the two of you are seeing the same current challenges? Open questions like “Where do you think we need to go?” or “What are your thoughts?” work well here …
2. When you find your “link”, be explicit about what you like / share about their views, opinion, drives etc.
For example. “It’s clear to me that we both want to make sure any changes we make don’t cost people more time” or “What I really like about your approach is that you’re considering the end-user first. I feel the same way”
3. Focus on positives and use positive language.
Most people are very rarely completely wrong, just as you are very rarely completely right. Understanding this means that it is always possible to approach something by looking for the “right” ideas e.g. “What I like about your suggestion is …” thereby creating a positive spiral and rapport – as opposed to focusing on what you don’t like e.g. “ I can’t imagine this working” thereby creating a downwards negative spiral (source – George Prince – The Practice of Creativity).
4. There are going to be differences.
If there weren’t you wouldn’t be trying to influence each other! But make an effort to delay focusing on differences until some bridges have been built. When you turn to them, link back to the shared elements you’ve found and be explicit about your reasons. “It seems that we agree on the causes of the problem and we have different ideas about what needs doing. Why do you think this is?” Don’t assume the everything is obvious!
5. As you progress do continually clarify.
Use language like “So what you’re saying is …” and “Let me just check I’m understanding you … “. This shows your understanding of their views, ideas and thoughts AND actually ensures you do actually understand. Build your bridge on concrete foundations.
Linking and building is just one of many practical techniques from our influencing seminars that can help you successfully influence others. And it starts with getting all parties to face in the same direction. Please contact if you’d like to know more.
Meetings in English are fine but the coffee breaks are terrifying
/in Business English, Soft Skills /by ian taylorMartin, an IT Project Manager, was getting ready for a meeting with his European counterparts to review his bank’s IT security. As ever he was very well prepared so I was a little surprised when he confessed to being nervous. However, it was not the meeting itself that was worrying him – it was the coffee and lunch breaks. His nerves were due to having to “small talk”. Small talk is an essential element of building relationships. Yes, the meeting is all about dealing with business and discussing the items on the agenda but it’s in the breaks in between where the relationships are forged.




Why do some people find small talk so hard?
When we run seminars on small talk and socializing in English we hear many reasons why people struggle when they have to make small talk. Some people don’t know what to say, some are afraid of saying the wrong thing, some don’t know how to start a conversation, some are scared that people will think they are boring, some people find small talk a waste of time…and the list goes on. All of these objections, and fears are magnified when we know we are going to have to do it in a foreign language.
You prepare for the meeting so prepare for the small talk!
If you are nervous or uncertain about what to say during the breaks – prepare for them. First of all identify topics that are safe and suitable for the event and the people attending. Depending upon the culture you are speaking with “safe topics” may be different but in general you are on safe ground with the following:
Opening a conversations and keeping it flowing
If you are going to ask questions, when possible, ask open questions. An open question begins with a question word – what, why, where, when, how etc. and the person will have to answer with more than a simple yes/no answer. Open question elicits more information and helps the conversation to develop. Similarly if you are asked a question (closed or open), give additional information and finish with a question. This will keep the conversation flowing.
7 phrases for typical small talk situations
Don’t forget
Your counterparts may well be as nervous as you are and will welcome your initiative in starting and joining in conversation with them. You could be taking the first steps in developing new personal and business relationships
How great training clients maximize the impact of their training budget
/in Business English, Methods & Tools /by Guest AuthorA common question I am asked in client meetings is ‘What makes a “great” training provider?’ and then of course I’m asked to show that we are one. There are a lot of factors involved in being a great training provider, from having the right trainers, to providing relevant training (that is easily transferred to the workplace), and from having the right processes right down to the flexibility and adaptability of the program, based on the changing business needs of the participants. In part, our greatness is achieved because of great clients and we are very lucky to have many of those across Europe ranging in size and spanning numerous industries. Like great training providers share common characteristics, so do great training clients. Below are are three of them.
1. Great training clients really get the importance of buy-in on multiple levels
Training, whether it be Business English, soft skill or leadership programs, is most successful when there is buy-in across the board. HR and L&D are important, but it is the buy-in from operational and line managers that makes a real difference. Managers at all levels and team leaders all have a role to play. The managers of our “great clients” share the “why?” behind the training. They look to link it to strategy and decisions, and show that they are personally expecting commitment and engagement. This buy-in keeps the participants focused and aware of why they are training on certain topics. This management buy-in also supports the work of HR and L&D, energizing their efforts and challenging them to challenge us when it comes to questions such as training design, transfer to the workplace, and continual improvements. So, if you have multiple levels of management, HR and participant buy-in, you will definitely see results tied to your company goals and get a lot more out of your training investment.
2. Great training clients give feedback when things are great and when things could be better
When we put our heart and soul into delivering training, we love hearing that we are doing a great job. Even when the training doesn’t fully meet the client’s expectations, we want to hear about it. Our best clients understand that we value what they have to say and tell us openly, on a regular basis. The more consistent clients are with feedback, the easier it is to address any issues that may arise. Being clear about communication needs, proactively collaborating on training goals, content and methods, and sharing the background to decisions work to build robust relationships creates a lot of trust and understanding that leads to productive, long-term and fun partnerships. Win-Win is remarkably easy when both sides genuinely care about the other.
3. Great training clients are open to new ideas and approaches
It is great when a client knows what they want. It can make our job as a training provider that much easier – after all you know your staff, your corporate culture and what works well. AND, we also value the chance to apply our years and years of experience when the situation presents itself. Our best clients know that they can trust our expertise and, after exploring the whys and hows, are willing to give it a chance. We understand we have to earn that trust, but need a chance to do so. So, know what you want as a customer, challenge what your suppliers may suggest at times but also be open to new ideas as you may be pleasantly surprised what your supplier can do.
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Key tips and English phrases for your next “lessons learned” meeting
/in Business English /by George BarseLife is about continuously learning. We sometimes learn from our mistakes, and we can also learn from our successes. This was first brought to my attention early on in my career. After the successful completion of a tough project, we had a meeting with our team leader where we were questioned on both what had we done well and how could the project have gone smoother. Today, in the international automotive company where I work as an InCorporate Trainer training business English, Lessons Learned meetings are an integral part of any project.
What happens in a “lessons learned” meeting?
Like my team leader a long time ago, the project managers I train are convinced that, after any project, it is important to reflect on what could be learned from the experience. Annette, a manager who regularly uses me for on-the-job training explained that “For us the lessons learned meeting is especially important if the project was deemed to be a success. In this way, best practices are identified and flow into subsequent projects. And feelings of complacency can be avoided. At the same time, it is important to understand what stood in the way of a project being even more successful. It doesn’t really matter how successful a project is, there is always room for improvement.”
She then went on to explain how her project team has time to consider their performance as well as that of the team as a whole, And that in new teams, or established teams with new members, this was typically tough the first few times “I do see pushback from new colleagues for various reasons, despite how obviously important these meetings may be. Some people feel there is no reason to speak about the past since we cannot go back and change things. Other times people may feel that it isn’t good to talk too much about the past but to focus on the future. My goal as the team’s leader is to show that being open about one’s mistakes allows others to learn from them! In German this is not easy but when we all do it in English we see that things are harder ”
Use we to be tough on the mistakes, but not on the individuals
Most of us don’t enjoy talking about our mistakes, and when discussing mistakes it is important to be both accurate and respectful. One way to do this is by asking questions using the collective “we” rather than assigning specific blame. After all, you are a team!
For example:
Ask the right questions to ensure future improvement
Another way of discussing mistakes is to use hypotheticals. These sentences help to make things less personal and more abstract. With this style of question, a hypothetical cause and effect in the past is identified and applied to future situations; a “What if…” style of identifying areas for potential improvement.
Use success as a driver for learning
As mentioned above, we can also learn from our successes. So what questions could we and should we be asking ourselves to ensure our successes continue on to future projects? Here are some useful examples for your next “lessons learned” meeting…
To summarize
Implementing lessons learned meetings into your projects leads to team members growing in confidence, and an increase in performance and outcomes. Being aware of the impact language can have will help, as can facilitation skills , and building trust and a willingness to allow constructive conflicts in your team. Finally, there’s an excellent lessons learned template on Brad Egeland’s blog. Cornell University has a good overview of approaches and questions to use, and the University of Pennsylvania offers a lessons-learned checklists to help lead discussions.
If you have any recommendations or would like to tell us about your experiences with lessons learned meetings, please feel free to do so below in the comments section.
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Surviving and understanding English corporate buzzwords and business lingo
/in Business English /by ian taylorRecently I was working with a software development manager from a major German multinational. He’d just got off a 2 hour webex meeting and was frustrated. “I thought my English was pretty good – but what exactly does We’ve worked through it soup to nuts mean?!”. I could empathize. It was the first time I’d heard this expression myself and I needed to understand the context before I guessed it meant from beginning to end. Corporate and business buzzwords, jargon and expressions can be a challenge for native speakers – and when English isn’t your first language things get so much harder.
What do we mean by corporate buzzwords and business lingo?
The business world has always developed and used its own idiomatic phrases and vocabulary to describe all aspects of business and management. These expressions fall into 2 broad categories:
Why do people talk like this?
This is a good question. A part of good communication is about making things easy to understand buzzwords don’t always do this. Buzzwords are a type of jargon people use so they sound knowledgeable, up-to-date, important … or just cool or funny. Is it effective? Decide for yourself. The video in this post is an excellent demonstration. How many of the expressions do you recognize and understand?
Dealing with buzzwords and business lingo
I am a native speaker of English and have almost 40 years experience in the corporate world and I understood less than half of what was said in the video above. So what can non-native English speakers do when confronted by too much corporate speak?
Further online resources
Explanations for most of the expressions used in the video on available on these websites
9 common English jargon and buzzwords used in business
To close, here is is a selection of corporate jargon and buzzwords from the video … together with a simple explanation:
To summarize, don’t forget that even native English speakers struggle with business jargon and idiomatic expressions. If you follow the tips and make use of the links I’ve mentioned you will find it a little easier.
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Here’s a selection of posts if you want to read more:
How we built the Business English can-do statements: An interview with Chris Slattery
/in Business English, Methods & Tools /by Guest AuthorHow good is your business English? B1? C2? These terms didn’t mean much to most of us ten years ago or so, but today the Common European Framework of Reference for Languages (CEFR) is an international standard for describing language ability. It is used around the world to describe learners’ language skills. The 20 years of research the Council of Europe put into designing and rolling out the CEFR was undoubtedly worthwhile: we now have a robust basis for a common understanding of what language levels mean. However, the CEFR is not business English specific – it was was designed for general education purposes. It doesn’t directly connect to day-to-day business communication scenarios. It doesn’t directly meet the language training needs facing businesses and corporations today, nor does it directly address common business communication scenarios.
In 2010, Target Training worked with the worlds largest courier company, Deutsche Post DHL, and another language training provider (Marcus Evans Linguarama) to close this gap. The outcome was a detailed set of can-do statements usable by employees, their managers and training providers alike. Chris Slattery lead the project at Target Training, and I asked him a few questions about this project.
What made you want to get involved in this project?
Chris: We had been working closely with the Corporate Language School at DP DHL for over 5 years, and they were keen to begin measuring their training investment. A major part of this was being able to measure learning progress. They had tried to use an off-the-shelf solution but it wasn’t working, and the CEFR was too abstract to use in a business environment. We’d been working closely together trying to make things work – and when it was clear that the tools just weren’t strong enough they asked us if we could build a business specific tool which was founded in the CEFR levels. We asked that if we were going to be the “developer” another provider be involved as a “tester” to ensure the end product was robust and practical. This is how Lingurama became involved, and this 3-way collaboration strengthened the project.
How did you decide what a successful solution would look like?
Chris: Quite simply, success was a tool that managers and participants could easily use when analyzing needs, setting goals and evaluating progress. We needed something that reflected the specific business skills managers are looking to improve. This meant we had to adapt what was in the CEFR and re-couch it in terms that were relevant for the business world. For example to move from academic and linguistic terms to practical business communication needs.
Can you give an example of a scenario?
Chris: Sure. Take someone who has had English at school and then worked in the States as an au pair for two years. They speak good English with a Boston accent. When they joined DP DHL they had the opportunity to join our InCorporate Trainer program. Whenever somebody new joins the training Target Training needs to assess their English skills. This lady got placed at CEFR B2, which shows a good degree of competency … but she had never worked in a company before joining DP DHL -and now she needed to go and deliver a presentation in English. How well was she going to be able to do that?
Her general CEFR level is B2, but in her ability to give effective status presentations in English, she might be as low as A2. This discrepancy is huge. The CEFR isn’t designed to recognize gaps in performance at work. The Business English can-do statements mean that these managers can identify where they would like to see an improvement in performance, and we then know how to get them there.
The full CEFR document is 273 pages long. Where did you start?
Chris: We started by studying the CEFR document in real depth, and understanding how it was built and why certain can-do statements are phrased in specific ways. At the same time we also agreed with the client which business fields made the most impact on their day-today communication – skills like “presentations”, “networking”, “negotiating” etc . We then reread the CEFR handbook and identified which can-do statements could be directly transferable to business communication scenarios. Then we broke these business fields down into language skills, and used the can-dos in the CEFR document which best fitted these language skills. Our golden rule was that the can-dos had to be within the context of specific business skills AND easily understood by a department manager with no knowledge of language training.
Can you give me an example?
Chris: Sure. These two statements contributed to one of the can-dos related to participating in meetings at a B1 level:
Our Business English can-do statement for B1 Meetings: I can directly ask a participant to clarify what they have just said and obtain more detailed information in an appropriate manner.
How long did the whole process take?
Chris: It took five months to write, test, rewrite, test and rewrite again. We then needed to repeat the process with a German language version too. At the end we blind-tested it with the client, and were delighted with their feedback. The roll-out took a few months. Today, internally, it’s still an ongoing project. As new trainers join the company, they need to learn how to use the tool to its full potential.
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The Business English Can-Do Statements toolbox also has a short FAQ and 4 ideas on how you can use them. If you’d like to know more, please contact us, or read more about the CEFR framework on our website.
Presenting in a foreign language
/in Soft Skills /by Scott LeveyI’ve been involved in business English training since I left university, and over the years I’ve helped hundreds of executives, managers and experts improve their presentations in English. I’ve worked with confident presenters, nervous presenters, boring presenters and inspiring presenters. Some of them have struggled with their presentations skills, others with their content and many with their English skills. All of these people came to mind when I was preparing a presentation in German. It was a sure case of the shoe being on the other foot for once and I was quickly reminded that knowing what to do and doing it aren’t the same!
The challenges
The presentation I needed to make was part of a kick-off event for an exciting new Blended Learning project with Global English at one of our clients. I was going to be one of three presenters, speaking to a group of around fifty German HR specialists and managers. As this was a high profile flag ship project, the kick-off needed to build interest and motivation. Doing it in German didn’t worry me too much – but I knew it was going to be functional rather than elegant. Having learnt most of my German by “doing” rather than “studying”, I sacrifice accuracy for communication. (My German trainer tells me my German is CEFR B2. I think she’s just being nice – my grammar ist nicht gut.)
So the first thing I did was sit down to consider the advice I’d give a client faced with the same situation in reverse:
The presentation
After some preparation and practice I drove to Bonn to make the presentation. I felt that my message was clear and the audience seemed interested and convinced. There’d been some nodding heads, some laughter in the right places, and a few questions. Job well done, I thought.
The feedback
Reflecting and debriefing is always important if you want to get better, and there were a couple of people in the audience who I knew and respected. With this in mind, I asked them how they felt I had done, and what I could do better next time. Their answer was clear and consistent – “Sometimes you spoke a bit too fast” and “It was hard to hear you in some places”. Ouch! I thought about the feedback – and then replayed my presentation in my mind.
Upon further reflection, I realised that when I began to struggle with my German I unconsciously began to speak a little quieter. Although I knew what I wanted to say I wasn’t sure about how I was saying it – and without realizing it I turned the power down. I also realised that when I began to struggle with my German I unintentionally spoke faster to hide my mistakes.
Because I’d forgotten to remind myself about a common problem that many people face when presenting in a foreign language – nerves mean they forget the 4Ps.
The 4Ps
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The importance of staff training
/1 Comment/in Business English, Soft Skills /by Martin WheelerWe’re a training company. We meet with corporate clients and we ask them questions to find out their situation. They ask us questions too. If they like us, we send in an offer with a training concept. The answers to the questions (from both sides) are often similar. Our clients need training because it will help them succeed. Which makes the company succeed. Here are some of those questions, this time answered by two of Target’s key people, Chris Slattery (Managing Director) and Scott Levey (Operations Manager).
How important is training when it comes to staff?
SL: Training is as important to us as it is to every company. (Ironically though, trainers in the industry just don’t get enough training themselves, and there tends to be very little done on an incidental basis.) By nature, trainers in this industry often work independently and at best get development opportunities by accident. Our policy is to attract and hire the best trainers and, through training, help them to stay sharp. When we hire, we look specifically for evidence of continual improvement so we know we are working with people who are open to development and learning.
CS: The phrase ‘never buy hair restorer from a bald salesman’ springs to mind. We are obliged to take training seriously for any number of reasons but, most importantly, when training makes our staff stronger, we move up a notch as a company. Our challenge is to make sure that we promote internal training to ensure that the company as a whole benefits from external measures taken by individuals.
What makes training effective?
SL: Skill or job based, the training has to be relevant. The training from which we have had the most positive feedback has been our in-house “Boot Camp”. This is where we explore the skills an InCorporate Trainer needs in order to be successful when delivering in-house training. New trainers generally have low expectations coming onto the course (‘training for training’s sake’ being a classic attitude) but the feedback has been consistently strong and participants report that they have been pushed, been developed and gained confidence during the week. Not only that, their line managers have reported a clear difference, as have the end client.
CS: And be ready to be actively involved in supporting whatever training you go for. Your support, or lack of, makes so much difference.
Is intercultural training still relevant?
CS: Intercultural training introduces the concept of dilemmas which every society is confronted with.
For example:
How a society deals with these dilemmas is the essence of that society’s culture. I would suggest that the intercultural aspect is everything… and nothing. “Nothing” in the sense that the theoretical study of regional differences (e.g. be sure to wear white socks on a first date in Ballybunnion), while possibly of some passing interest, is not necessarily conducive to effective communication. “Everything” in the sense that communication – which is our business – is founded on shared understanding. Beyond a rudimentary level of language proficiency, working out what is meant becomes more important than the words that are used and what is actually said.
Why is language training still so important in the business world today?
SL: Communication is extremely important in all areas, and people just don’t think about it often enough on an day to day level. We don’t always listen well; we are not always understood in the way we want to be understood and in a way that gets results. And this is in our native language. International business communication in a language you don’t really know is difficult – you know what you need but you don’t know how to say it exactly. Successful communication revolves around people setting aside time to reflect on how they communicate and how they can make it more effective. Language training is a tool that supports this. So people can do a great job in English.
How do you organize your training budget effectively?
SL: We talk to staff about their current skills and their needs for the future. This is an ongoing conversation. It’s also vital that our managers carve out time to think about their own needs; skills; and the future situation of the client and the team they manage. And we know that it is not always feasible to solve a current problem by throwing training at it: training often takes too long to solve an immediate concern.
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Handling difficult and disruptive people in meetings
/in Business English, Soft Skills /by ian taylor“I am really enjoying my new role as Lean Audit Manager! The only issue is, meetings can sometimes be very challenging as I don’t always get the support and cooperation of everyone attending.” Claudia, a very experienced and highly qualified engineer who had recently been appointed as lean audit manager, said this to me a few weeks ago. Naturally, some team members can feel uncomfortable when their processes and working methods are scrutinized and analyzed. It is not unusual for this discomfort to surface in meetings as difficult and disruptive behaviour. The end result is that meetings can become unfocussed, unruly and unsatisfactory. The same is true for any meeting – sometimes some people behave badly.
Countering disruptive behaviour
First of all remember this is your meeting, you have set the agenda and it is up to you make it work. Having said that, let’s look at some typical types of disruptive behaviour, what we can do to manage it and some useful English phrases.
Someone is monopolizing the discussion
Some people love the sound of their own voice and will talk at length on any and every point and deny other people the opportunity to be heard.
Someone is promoting a personal agenda
Some people seem oblivious to the actual agenda and seem intent on pursuing their own. If this behaviour is not quickly checked the meeting is in real danger of completely losing its focus. Keyis to step in early, stop them from talking and get back to the agenda.
People are having side conversations
You will often find people who are intent on making comments, or having a conversation with their neighbour. Apart from being bad manners it is also very distracting. There are a number of techniques to handle this situation. For one, you can stop the meeting discussion, be quiet and look at the people talking. Very often they will feel uncomfortable and fall silent very quickly.
Don’t assign blame
If individuals are behaving badly resist the temptation to single them out. This can lead to a hardening of attitudes. Instead highlight the unacceptable behaviour and its negative impact. Think about your own style as well as the needs and preferences of those attending your meeting. This will help you to find the most appropriate and most effective way of handling difficult behaviors in your meetings.
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10 common American sport idioms
/in Business English /by Guest AuthorSports are an important part of many cultures, and that is especially true in the United States. Every year, billions of dollars are spent on tickets and merchandise and millions of fans attend events all over country. But, surprisingly, the most commonly seen evidence may be in the way people speak. American sports phrases have made their way into everyday English as sport idioms are often used in daily communication between friends as well as in the business world. As a non-native English speaker, you don’t have to have detailed knowledge of each American sport to use sport idioms. Proactively using them can be tricky at times, but passively understanding them is very important when doing business with Americans if you want to understand and ‘speak their language.’
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ballpark
From baseball, meaning ‘an approximate number’ in business speak. “Can you get us a ballpark figure on 4th quarter earnings?”
a curveball
Also from baseball, meaning ‘an unexpected action or event that is difficult to deal with’. “They threw us a curveball during negotiations by doubling their asking price.”
to drop the ball
From American football, meaning ‘to make an error or miss an opportunity’. “Bob dropped the ball by not preparing for the important meeting.”
a full-court press
From basketball, meaning ‘an all-out effort to apply pressure’. “We need to do a full-court press on our supplier to ensure delivery by the end of the month.”
to hit a home run
From baseball, meaning ‘to be very successful’. “Tom hit a home run when he closed the big deal with Microsoft.”
Monday morning quarterback
From American football, meaning ‘a person who criticizes something after it has finished with the benefit of hindsight’. “I wish Mary would stop playing Monday morning quarterback and give us input before our projects are finished.”
to play ball (with)
From baseball, meaning ‘to cooperate or act fairly with’. “Let’s hope headquarters agree to play ball with our new ideas on decentralization.”
to be saved by the bell
From boxing, meaning ‘to be saved from something bad by a timely interruption’. “We hadn’t finished the presentation in time, but were saved by the bell when the client pushed back our meeting at the last minute to next week.”
to throw in the towel
From boxing, meaning ‘to quit or admit defeat’. “After spending three hours trying to recover my deleted file, I threw in the towel and started over from the beginning.”
(someone’s) wheelhouse
From baseball, meaning ‘(someone’s) area of expertise, where they are most comfortable’. “Susan studied to be a lawyer before joining the company, so legal negotiations are in her wheelhouse.”
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What is active listening, how do I develop it and should I be making little noises?
/1 Comment/in Soft Skills /by James CulverListening skills are an integral part of many of our training solutions, e.g. Influencing, Managing Conflict and Facilitating meetings all include practical components on listening skills. However, we had a rare request from a pharmaceutical client seeking training focusing solely on active listening for their senior managers. The new board member strongly believed that improving her manager’s listening skills would have a major impact on the quality of relationships and the effectiveness of her team. And she was right … the seminar started and almost immediately, one manager asked me, “Active listening – that’s just when you make little noises, right?”
What is active listening?
Our tactful answer was “not quite”. Active listening (as the name suggests) is when you actively and fully concentrate on what is being said, rather than just passively hearing the words. Communication theory breaks what is being said into two elements – the content and the context. Content is the what – the data, the facts, the information etc. Context refers to everything else that is going on when somebody speaks with you – the relationship, the background, the situation, the emotions etc. Active listening involves paying close attention to the content being shared AND the contextual components between the listener (the receiver) and the speaker (the sender). Skilled active listeners can hear the what PLUS interest, emotion, concern, energy and other contextual factors from the speaker’s perspective. And they can hear what isn’t being said.
Why invest energy and effort in building your active listening skills?
The benefits of active listening are many. To start with you’ll hear more … much more. You can enrich your understanding through gathering information and understanding the emotions. You will ask better questions through noticing the speaker’s possible intent, and not only their words. It helps you avoid or diffuse conflicts. Better listening means that solutions and discussion are stronger. Active listening is a building block for open, trusting and accountable relationships.
7 practical tips for active listening
Pay attention
I mean REALLY pay attention to what is being said. Put aside distracting thoughts, try to block out environmental factors (side conversations, people watching etc) and listen holistically.
Know your obstacles to listening
Everyone is guilty of having “inner conversations” when listening – and whether it be judging, dreaming, solving or rehearsing what you want to say these common obstacles get in the way of active listening. Check out this blog post for more information or download the .pdf version here.
Develop countermeasures for your obstacles
Self talk to interrupt your distraction and refocus and internal paraphrasing can help. Basically, this sounds like you telling yourself “Stop it and focus on them not you”
Listen for context
Approach a meeting with listening tasks such as learning the interests of others in the room and listening for the valued being created in the conversation.
Dialogue approach
Listen with a mind to understand what is being said and not judge what is being said.
Listen with your eyes
Listen to what they are saying, how they are saying it, “listen” to their body language and “listen” to their eyes.
Provide feedback
It is incredibly difficult not to filter, assume or judge when we listen. As an active listener your role is just to listen. Reflecting, restating and asking questions are essential – just make sure you are doing this to check you are understanding the content and context and not to discuss, negotiate, argue, influence, correct etc.
So should I be making little noises when I actively listen, or not ?
Of course we also send messages when we listen IF we listen actively and affectively. In western cultures we expect some feedback from our listeners that indicates interest, from non-verbal messages such as nodding, smiles, eye contact and posture to small verbal comments like “uh huh” or “ “I see”. Do keep in mind thought that not every culture listens in the same way – and likewise not every individual listens in the same way. A lack of “ums” and “aahs” doesn’t always mean somebody is not listening.
To wrap up
Active listening helps you to create an environment that supports deeper, more honest and authentic communication. Whether you are managing people, negotiating, discussing, influencing, problem solving, why wouldn’t you invest the energy and effort in becoming a better listener?
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Giving office tours in English
/in Business English /by Guest AuthorYou’ve got visitors coming over to your factory and you need to show them around. Maybe you’ve done that a thousand times, but never in English. Maybe you’ve never done it at all. When you’re planning the tour, think about what makes a tour really good. You’ll need to think about how you’re going to communicate with your visitors, what information you’ll need to give them, how to entertain them, and consider what questions they will have. But also, you’ll need to think about how you’re going to remember the facts, the history and any stories you choose. Here are some questions to consider and useful phrases to help you along the way.
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Key questions to answer
Your audience
Housekeeping
The facts
Questions
Key language
Language wise there can be quite a lot to remember – so keep in mind that seeing things speaks 100 words! You can practice what you’re going to say, but a tour is not like a presentation. There should be interaction between you and the audience. The more you talk to them and ask them questions, the better the rapport will be. This puts everyone at ease and you’ll be able to remember what you need to tell them and answer their questions more easily.
Welcome
Housekeeping
Questions
Outlining your plan
Starting your tour
Pointing things out
Giving some background information
Moving people from one place to the next
Answering questions
Closing the tour
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DEEP accountability conversations – How to hold your colleagues accountable
/1 Comment/in Soft Skills /by James CulverAccording to Shelly Setzer of the Table Group, peer-to-peer accountability is “probably the toughest behavior to master on a team”. And as cross functional, matrix and virtual teams are becoming the norm, holding each other accountable to team goals and commitments is becoming even more challenging.. As a team member, you aren’t “the boss”, which means you don’t have the levers of reward and coercion and in some cases, your team may just be one among many for your team members. So how exactly do you approach conversations with colleagues who aren’t doing what they said they would do, without the benefit of formal power ? This is where the DEEP model comes in. The DEEP model is designed to help you have a clear approach to tough accountability conversations. It helps you and your team focus on solutions when accountability problems arise. These kinds of conversations are rarely easy, but with DEEP you can approach them with confidence.
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Requirements for the DEEP approach
You need clear commitments with the team (not tacit, unconfirmed agreements). Your colleagues need to trust your intentions and believe you have their and the projects interest at heart. You need to foster a climate of creative conflict so everyone can be heard and see themselves reflected in team decisions. AND most of all, you need the courage to have what is often a tough conversation. Tough conversations are … tough. There are no tricks or techniques that make them less so, but here are 3 fundamentals to consider:
The DEEP model, step by step
Step 1 – Describe the situation – What happened as I see it
This is a review of the commitment and shortfall without judgment. Stick with “I” statements rather than “you” statements and try to describe the process that led to the commitment. If you can’t bring up the shortfall without becoming too emotional and judging your conversation partner, then ask yourself 2 questions:
Step 2 – Explain the consequences – The result of what happened
The consequences of the shortfall you mention here should be concrete and observable. What actually happened because they didn’t meet their commitment is far more important than what could happen. Finding consequences your partner already cares about adds impact.
Step 3 -Explore options – What we can do about it
Generate at least three options when considering what to do. The “at least three” is very important – is helps you to avoid binary thinking and unnecessarily taking a position. Brainstorming options together is critical. The together points you both in the same direction, reaffirms the “team” and ensures you are on the same page before assessing your options, Make it a distinct step with a marker e.g. “Ok, together let’s now brainstorm what we can do” – this moves your conversation forward.
Step 4 – Problem solve together – What we will do about it
Decide and commit to new behaviors. It can be important to find ways you too can commit to the correction of the shortfall and the development of your relationship. Accountability for behaviors is tough so why should only one person carry the weight? Finding ways to help each other will not only help you to implement a solution, it will also help you to increase your level of trust.
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What our clients learned the easy way
/in Business English /by Guest AuthorLong gone are the days when Business English training consisted of weekly lessons with a native English speaker, discussing what you did over the weekend. (Hooray!) In 2017 A.D, companies are paying more and more attention to the effectiveness of their Business English training programs. HR departments look for a training solution that delivers business results, based on the needs of the employees. A solution that ties in with the organization’s strategic goals. We are proud to have almost 25 years experience in this field. From concept to implementation to measuring results, we’ve learned a thousand lessons along the way, and so have our clients. In an effort to help you find the right solution for your department or company, we asked our clients what they realized three months after investing in results-oriented training that they hadn’t realized before. With some added links and examples from me, here are the three things we heard most often:
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Set concrete training goals
The most successful training happens when the participants have specific goals. A good needs analysis as well as input from managers help set these. Look for tangible business results, this will help you set your short- and long term goals. And, the more specific the goal, the better. For example: ‘Improving emails in English’ is a good start but ‘Handling billing requests from Indian colleagues via email’ is better.
The effectiveness of on-the-job training
People learn 70% by doing, and only 10% through structured training. Allowing the training to be job-focused, and on an “as and when needed” basis produces learning that sticks. A training solution that integrates on-the-job support is highly effective. And, on-the-job training is extremely flexible. For example: It can be used for email coaching, telephone conference/meeting shadowing and feedback, presentation practice and feedback, etc. It allows the trainer to learn first-hand how participants use English at work.
The importance of OTJ – a brief interjection: On-the-job support makes the training useful because it directly targets the training needs of the participant. Our on-the-job training and shadowing solutions are at the heart of the Target Training cycle and a core element of our InCorporate Trainer programs.
Forget about language levels and test scores
These results can’t be translated into how someone has transferred their knowledge to the workplace. If performance in English has improved, the training is successful. Measuring knowledge and language (CEF) levels can be useful as an indicator but it isn’t very practical, nor is it always realistic in a corporate training program. For example: It can take 700 hours of training or more for an A1 (beginner) to reach a B1 (intermediate) level. This type of time investment isn’t possible for most working professionals, nor is it (always) in alignment with the organizational goals.
Final interjection: A chain of evidence is created with Kirkpatrick evaluation model, showing how much training contributes directly towards business goals..
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You can always ask us your questions how to implement a successful business English training program. We’re quite good at it, ask anyone… Or start here: